LDS Podcast "Latter-Day Lights" - Inspirational LDS Stories

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse with The Book of Mormon: Becky Sheffer's Story - Latter-Day Lights

• Scott Brandley and Alisha Coakley

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What if the darkest parts of your past were the very things God used to lead you home?

On today’s episode of Latter-day Lights, we meet Becky Sheffer—a woman whose childhood was marked by addiction, neglect, trauma, and instability. But through it all, small miracles began to appear—moments that quietly pointed her toward something greater.

From squatting in abandoned homes and riding across the country in a broken-down car full of chickens, to living off-grid in a makeshift compound in the Utah desert, Becky’s life was anything but ordinary. 

And yet, it was the Book of Mormon that helped her change the trajectory of her life, break the cycle of abuse, overcome a difficult learning disability, and completely rewrite her story.

If you’ve ever wondered whether Christ really shows up in the mess, Becky’s story will leave no doubt.

*** Please SHARE Becky's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***

To WATCH this episode, visit: https://youtu.be/J8ZuGOeCOmc

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To READ Becky's book, A Girl Named White Cloud, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Named-White-Cloud-darkness/dp/B0DRSXR5JX

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Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.

Scott Brandley:

Hey everyone.

Trevor Heninger:

I'm.

Scott Brandley:

Scott Brandley and I'm Trevor Henniger. Every member has a story to share, One that can instill faith, invite hope and inspire others.

Trevor Heninger:

On today's episode we're going to hear how, despite a very difficult childhood and a learning disability, one woman was able to find the church and change her life for the better. Welcome to Latter-day Lights. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Latter-day Lights. We're so glad you're here with us today and we're really excited to introduce our special guest, becky Sh Shepard, to the show. How you doing, becky? Pretty good, thanks, awesome. So we also have another kind of treat we have Trevor Henninger with us, who's been on the show before, so you guys might recognize him. So welcome, Trevor, to the show as well.

Scott Brandley:

Thank you so much. It's a privilege to to be here. I'm honored.

Trevor Heninger:

You guys invited me yeah, well, we're glad you could come and hang out with us. Um, alicia's got some family issues she's dealing with right now, so we asked trevor to come hang out and be my co-host, so should be a fun podcast today. So, uh, becky, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Becky Sheffer:

Sure, I'm Becky Sheffer. I live in Burley, idaho. I'm married to Jordan and we have five kids, and two of our oldest kids are both serving missions right now. One's in Lubbock, texas He'll be home, hopefully, soon and the other one is in North tokyo, japan. And we have three at home, and so we four boys and one girl, and she's smacked in the middle of those boys. She loves it. No, she doesn't, but yeah, it's good. We, um, we love burley, idaho. It's, oh, it's probably the ugliest place in idaho, but it is filled with the best people. We have a river that we like to go and play on in the summertime and then a small little ski resort up here that we ski in the winter. So that's about us. Spring and fall were pretty boring, though, so it's a good thing we have football.

Trevor Heninger:

Right yeah, how close is Burley to Boise?

Becky Sheffer:

We are. We're kind of in the middle of Boise and Salt Lake City, so Boise, I think, it's about three hours, two and a half three hours, and then Salt Lake's about two and a half three hours. So it depends on how the traffic is.

Scott Brandley:

Gotcha, you're closer to Twin Falls, sounds like.

Becky Sheffer:

Yep, yeah, Twin Falls. That's where we go for our temple right now, but ours is getting built and almost finished.

Scott Brandley:

How exciting.

Becky Sheffer:

Yeah.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, that's awesome.

Becky Sheffer:

We're growing Yep, good people.

Trevor Heninger:

Cool. Well, we're excited to hear your story. Trevor and I have both kind of read your high levellevel. You know 10,000-foot view it sounds pretty crazy. So it'll be interesting to hear from you directly.

Becky Sheffer:

Yeah, good luck.

Trevor Heninger:

So why don't you tell us, where your story begins?

Becky Sheffer:

Okay, well, where do I begin?

Trevor Heninger:

No.

Becky Sheffer:

Yes, I have a bit of a crazy childhood and every time I tell someone about it, they always say you should write a book. But you know, I always think in my mind are you kidding me? There's so many more cool people out there with really crazy stories and their books would be much better. So I always just laugh at it. You know, okay, thanks for telling me that.

Becky Sheffer:

But my son, who's in on serving a mission in Lubbock, texas, right now. Before he left, he was our first one to leave and he gave it's supposed to be a blessing of comfort the night before he left for his mission and in his blessing he said you need to write your book. And I'm like what? This is not a blessing of comfort, this is like the rudest thing you could have ever done. So after the blessing I gave him a hug and I'm like no more blessings for you. I don't think this is a good idea, but anyway.

Becky Sheffer:

So I thought about it and then, about three months after that, I got injured pretty bad, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't hold anything in my left hand. I was in a lot of pain. So I thought, wow, this is Heavenly Father's way of telling me. You're just going to sit and write your book. So that's what I did. So anyway. So that's how the book came about is because I was prompted, not because I think it's a good read. In fact, I always tell people there's no refunds. Sorry, if you read it, there's no refunds.

Trevor Heninger:

No, your book talks about some of your childhood experiences, right?

Becky Sheffer:

childhood experiences, right, yeah, so I grew up in Utah and then I grew up to parents who were alcoholics and they were both excommunicated from the church because they had a hard time staying married to each other and they had lots of affairs and such, and so I grew up kind of in a house full of a lot of alcohol and verbal abuse and they were physically abusive to each other. And so when I turned eight years old, my grandparents told my mom that I needed to be baptized in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So I was baptized when I was eight years old, but I never attended church before or after that, I think. I lived in Utah so I'd get invited here and there, but I had no clue what was going on. So I, um, so, yeah, so I I grew up, um, kind of a little bit different than my surroundings in Pleasant Grove, utah, where I was born, and so after my parents divorced for they like to get married and divorced to each other a few times, but I was seven years old when they got divorced for the final time and after that I lived with my mom and she had a hard time paying her bills and so we were homeless quite a lot and so we would, you know, struggle with paying bills and we would move into a house and then move out about three months later because we couldn't pay rent. And so my mom had a lot of mental struggles and I didn't know that as a kid. When you're growing up you just think your mom is your mom, you know she's normal, like everybody else's mom. But, um, so she had a lot of mental struggles and unfortunately I was just part of the upbringing of her going through those. But, um, so my book has quite a bit of adventures is what I call them with going through this childhood of mine.

Becky Sheffer:

But I'll share one that most people like or I don't know my husband like. It's hard to say that you like them because it's not. They're not like great stories, but anyway I'll share one story. I was about nine years old and my mom was like a pen pals with a man in prison Cause why not, you know? So she met a dating guy in prison and so they're writing love letters to each other. They decided to get married. So he gets out of prison and they get married like within that week so it's my first time meeting him and then they get married and at this time I was really excited because I really wanted a mom and dad and I wanted a family. I always wanted a family. So that was, you know, I was excited.

Becky Sheffer:

Um, so they get married and this stepdad of mine does not, um, he doesn't work, he's addicted to drugs and alcohol and um, and so we keep moving from house to apartments. I, we were squatters, so we would find a house and we'd live in this empty house until we got busted and then we'd move to a different one and um, so we, we just kind of went all around like that but, um, this he was kind of a treat to live with. His alcohol and drug addiction was quite monstrous. We wouldn't have money. What we would do is, back then in the 90s I know, the 19th century, it's hard to believe it was once upon a time we would get food stamps and they were like coupons, like money coupons, and if you go to gas stations or stores and you buy penny candy, then they give you real money back as change. And so when we'd get our food stamps, my stepdad would send me, I would go walking to the gas station or whatever and I would buy penny candies and then bring him home his money so he could buy his drugs and alcohol. Then after that we didn't have any food for the rest of the month. I always laugh because I'm like I really was the chunkiest homeless girl you've ever met, because I just ate so much candy girl you've ever met, because I just ate so much candy and then McDonald's had like 10 cent cheeseburgers or 25 cents or something super cheap. So we would, you know, eat those things. But that's funny, chunky homeless girl.

Becky Sheffer:

After moving around for a while I don't know why, but we moved to his hometown. So I lived in Orem at that time, orem, utah and we moved to his small town, redmond, utah, and we lived in this house. I don't know where the people went, but there was furniture in the house but the people weren't there and we didn't have power and electricity or anything. But we lived there and he raised these chickens to fight. So he was a cockfighter and so he, you know, that's that's how he's made his money and and that was not that I'm for that, but it was sure was nice that when he started bringing in his own income. So we, you know, had more than penny candies to eat. But anyway, he would raise these chickens and fight them and he would force me to go with them and so I would have to go and clean up the chickens afterwards and it was pretty gross little situation there.

Becky Sheffer:

This stepdad was one that never called me by my name. He would call me like female body parts or just really bad names and just degrade me a lot, and so he just was just kind of a bad guy. I'm trying to paint a picture of him, but anyway, he's just not a good, not a good guy. Anyway, we had these chickens and we lived there for quite a while. We were raising them up and there was one that was really a good fighter. He was winning all the fights, all the cockfights, and I named him Bart because the Simpsons had just come out and that was the main character I liked, anyway. So this Bart rooster was the champion.

Becky Sheffer:

Well, my stepdad decided that he was so good that we were going to move to the state of Georgia so he can make millions off this rooster. And you know, he was telling us we were going to be like superstars. I used to like singing a lot, singing to the Judds or whatever country music back then, and so he told me I was going to be a star. So you know, we have all these high hopes, we're going to move to Georgia, we're going to be rich off Bart and I'm going to be a country singer, and all this.

Becky Sheffer:

And so we load this car up that can't even make it to Salt Lake City from Redmond I don't know, it's maybe a two hour drive, it breaks down all the time. City from Redmond, I don't know, it's maybe a two hour drive, it breaks down all the time. So we load up the car. Well, before we load up the car, he sells all my stuff. He this is what he's done over the last year. Anyway, then being married is he sells all my stuff. And so all I have is just the clothes that I'm wearing. And I have this boom box that, for those don't know what a boom box is, it's a radio, portable radio, big one, anyway. So we load up my boom box, what we're wearing, and then we put all the chickens in these individual chicken coops and we load up the whole back seat with chickens. I mean it's full.

Becky Sheffer:

And so then then I'm sitting in the middle of my mom and my stepdad and and we drive to Georgia and of course it's summertime and the car keeps overheating, it keeps breaking down, and back then you would I don't know, I don't think we do it anymore, but you would turn the heat on when your car keeps overheating, and so it was blasting hot air at us. Oh, it was so miserable. It's already hot. All the windows are down, there's blasting of the hot air. My stepdad reeks of BO and alcohol and smoking, and then it's just so stinging. And then the chickens in the back are you know chickens, and so flying feathers everywhere the windows are down. Oh man, if I could go back and just see us from someone's point of view, it would be interesting.

Becky Sheffer:

But it was a pretty rough. So we kept, we kept going and the car kept breaking down and of course we don't have any money. Um, so my, my mom would call people, or he would call people on the pay phone and we would. They would ask people to like wire money to get our car fixed and oh, it was an adventure. So yeah, we'd be stuck in like no man's land of some states and I have no idea where we're at, but they would somehow find a poor soul that would wire them money to get us to Georgia.

Becky Sheffer:

So we'd get our car fixed, and so it took quite a while going and breaking down along the way, and at about halfway through it I was, but about halfway through it I was hungry. You know, a few days into it I hadn't eaten anything. I was so hungry and I was nine years old and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I just broke down. I'm like I'm starving, I'm hungry, I can't do this anymore. And my stepdad, of course, has no sympathy and he's like oh, you're such a fat pig, becky, you know, and call me all sorts of bad names. And I feel bad, I'm hungry, and anyway, just got to the point where I just said I can't, I have to eat food, I'm so hungry.

Becky Sheffer:

And so my mom said okay, well, we'll stop at a truck stop and you can try and sell your boom box to somebody. And this boom box to me was like my real dad had bought it and after my parents divorced, for the final time my dad wasn't in my life, I would have to call him on my birthday and say, hey, it's my birthday, happy birthday, becky. And then we'd hang up, you know. So anything that my dad would give me was very precious to me, so this radio, he gave this to me. So it just was like having my dad there. So I agreed I was so hungry I was ready to sell the boombox.

Becky Sheffer:

I was late at night and we went and knocked on these truck drivers doors and asked them if they'd like to buy this boom box so I can get some food. And a lot of them said no and we would just go to the next one. And one night or this time I knocked on the truck driver's door and the man said yes, he would do it, he would buy my boom box, but he wanted to go inside and eat dinner with us. He wanted to make sure that the money was going towards dinner. And so it's kind of awkward, like, oh, I'd be with a stranger, you know, this is kind of awkward and scary. Kind of awkward like, oh, I have to eat with a stranger. You know, this is kind of awkward and scary.

Becky Sheffer:

And so we get in to the um, to the truck stop in the restaurant part, and we sit with this man. It's just my mom and me and this man and I. I ordered some pancakes and um, and so they brought the pancakes out and they were huge, just ginormous pancakes, and I ate probably four or five bites. And I was just stuffed. I was so full because I hadn't eaten for so long and I was feeling guilty that my mom was sitting next to me and she wasn't eating. And just so many emotions and my mom started getting mad. Becky, you said you were hungry, you need to eat. You know, it looks like I wasn't really hungry and we're just begging for money, but I was. I just I couldn't eat anymore. And I just remember crying Like I can't, I can't eat, I'm so full, I'm so sorry.

Becky Sheffer:

And they brought the check out and that time I had to give my boombox to this man, this truck driver, and I just started crying because it was like saying goodbye to my dad. It was kind of like a funeral and this was the only possession I owned because my, my stepdad had sold everything of mine. And so I hand the man my boom box and he says to me it's okay, I'll buy your dinner and you keep your boom box. And then he gave my mom $50 and we said thank you and he went off and um way, I don't know who he is, but if he's alive I still love him and this has been 35 years or more and I just love this man. But anyway. So we get back to the car and I'm crying and my mom's you know why didn't you eat your pancakes? And I couldn't eat it. And we get back to the car, my stepdad starts calling me all sorts of bad names again and telling me how worthless I am and how I am a pig and needed food, and anyways. Then he grabs my pancakes and scarfs them down and I'm like I remember I got mad and then I said that's not for you, that's for my mom. Anyway, it didn't matter, but he, he just ate those.

Becky Sheffer:

But we, we did end up making it to Georgia, and when we got to Georgia we stayed with his friend Buster, and Buster was a grown man living with his parents in this hillbilly town of Georgia, and I think they were surprised that this family of three just showed up at their door with a bunch of chickens, and so we lived with his parents for a while until my mom finds a job at a chicken factory and so my mom starts working, and then we moved into a trailer court there and and so she would go to work and Jay or my stepdad would start fighting his chickens again. And well, our chickens were pretty upset from the move, so they weren't laying eggs and just things weren't going well. And um, after a few months of this, bart died. Um, that was like crash of our dreams. You know, this was supposed to be our ticket to being rich. And so Bart dies and life is not great and my mom's at work and my stepdad's friends come over and they start doing drugs and the radio's blasting loud and they're doing their drugs.

Becky Sheffer:

And I was, I guess you could say I was hangry. I'm always hungry. If you read this book you're like gosh Becky's always hungry. Anyway, not really, but anyway, I was really hungry that night. I was angry. You know, james, this time he was doing some hardcore drugs with his friends and they were pretty high. And I reached for the last can of pears and I don't even like pears. I mean I do now. I like fresh pears, but as a kid I hated pears, like that was the only thing in the kitchen. So I grabbed those and I was just so angry that I had to eat pears.

Becky Sheffer:

And here he is doing drugs and listening to my boombox, angry that I had to eat pears. And here he is doing drugs and listening to my boombox. So I turned the boombox down and I yelled at him in front of his friends about how we're not supposed to do drugs and I'm going to tell my mom when she gets home. Well, my stepdad Leroy lost him. He didn't like me talking to him like that in front of his friends. He stood up and came right to me and I and started screaming at me and I I I never felt this before, but it felt like the spirit had lost my left, my body, like I, was just like scary. It was a scary feeling and so I ran into my room and I hid in the closet.

Becky Sheffer:

And he's screaming at me and telling me all sorts of things and bad names and such, and I'm just in my closet just crying and just wishing and praying that my mom would come home. And, uh, I remember I had this Cruella de Vil toy that I got from like a McDonald's toy. That was the only thing I had. I just grabbed it and I just remember just trying to play with it and just trying to keep my mind off of not dying. I was just so scared that he was going to kill me right there and just trying to pay attention. But I was just crying so hard and when my mom got home, leroy's friends left and then she came in and found me in the closet and I was just crying so hard and I told her what happened. And so she grabbed me and took me to the living room and started yelling at Leroy. And Leroy got pretty upset about it and they're screaming and yelling at each other and Leroy grabbed me and put a knife to my throat and said you know, he's going to kill us, starting with me.

Becky Sheffer:

And at that moment, you know, my nine-year-old brain is like thinking of all those dead chickens, like, oh, I'm going to be one of these dead chickens, like it's going to happen. Who's going to clean up? Because I was the one that used to clean up those chickens and there's so many thoughts going through my mind. Anyway, my mom, she apologized, they worked things out. I honestly I don't remember exact words. I was in just try and survive mode and so young.

Becky Sheffer:

And anyway, he let me go. And as he let me go, my mom and I started walking down to her bedroom and he said you know, he told us not to sleep tonight because he's going to kill us if we fall asleep. And he was serious, he was going to do some harm. So we shut the door and my mom said we're getting out of here. And so she opened up the glass, the window, and we jumped out the window and crawled to the well, walked quietly to the car and we put it in neutral and my mom pushed. I drove and my mom pushed the car out of the driveway and up the street and then we started it once we were out of earshot and started the car and drove over to a friend's house and told her what had happened. She said yeah, you need to get out of here, you need to get back to Utah.

Becky Sheffer:

And at this moment my mom we had nobody. We weren't church going people, we didn't have a church people, we didn't have friends and family in Georgia, we didn't have any money. That car was not going to make it back to Georgia or Utah. And so my mom had me call my grandparents, her parents, and ask them if they would buy us a ticket back to Utah. And at this time my grandparents were not talking to my mom, they were in a big argument, and so she said you have to call.

Becky Sheffer:

So I get to the pay phone and I dial my grandparents' number and it's collect and I don't know. Do I have to explain what collect is? Collect is an expensive phone call back in the day on the pay phone so nobody really wanted to accept collect calls because they were so expensive. So I call my grandma and grandpa collect, and it's late at night and I say it asks you for your name. I said it's Becky and my grandparents denied the phone call. They didn't accept the collect call, they just hung up. And I told my mom they hung up, they didn't accept it. And so she said call back and tell them instead of your name. Tell them, it's important, we're going to die. You need to answer, you need to accept this. So I did, I called back grandma and grandpa it's Becky, we're going to die. I really need your help. Please accept this phone call. And sure enough, they accepted the phone call and I told them everything that had happened and they said okay, put your mom on the phone. And I handed my mom the phone. She's like I'm not going to talk to him. And I said well, you got to talk to him or we're not going home. So she gets on the phone and they have this mini argument, they get it figured out, and so they said they would buy us a bus ticket on the Greyhound bus to get back to Utah.

Becky Sheffer:

And so the problem is we lived in this small, dinky town of Georgia and we had to get to Atlanta where the Greyhound bus station was. And we had to get to Atlanta where the Greyhound bus station was. So my mom got a hold of some friends from work or somehow. We found a man that had a small little truck and he was willing to drive us to Atlanta. This time it was pretty cold and there wasn't room for all three of us in the front and I didn't want to sit up front with this stranger by myself, and so me and my mom sat in the back of this pickup truck for this three to four hour drive to Atlanta. It was freezing and we kept trying to hold this blanket on us and it kept flopping in the wind. And my mom has a pretty good attitude. She tried to make good out of a bad situation, and so we played some games or we try to get the truckers to honk their horn at us and all sorts of games to just keep us busy, but it was pretty miserable. It was really cold and just not a great, not a great moment to try and flee for your life.

Becky Sheffer:

And so we get to Georgia and I grew up in Utah. Uh, so we get to Georgia and I, I grew up in Utah. And so in Utah, you know, it's just, I don't know, utah is different than Atlanta, Georgia. So we get to Atlanta, georgia and there's all these big buildings and different, just different atmosphere. And we get to the Greyhound bus stop in Georgia, in Atlanta, and a nine-year-old girl from Utah steps out, me and my mom, and we're the only white people in this bus station, you know.

Trevor Heninger:

And I'm like whoa, like what.

Becky Sheffer:

I've never seen diversity in my life. I was like, oh, where are we? Who are these people? Just shocked. It was shocked, you know, just a shock thing. But we were standing in line to buy our bus ticket and I had to go to the bathroom and my mom said, oh, the bathroom's over there. And this big lady behind us said no, you don't. You don't send your daughter the bathroom by herself. Here you pack your stuff up and you all go together. So I was all of a sudden scared, like, oh, like, uh, it's so dangerous, you know, danger alert. All of a sudden. And so we get our, we get our bus tickets and we get on the bus and the last minute bus tickets, we weren't able to sit next to each other. And so here we are, I'm separated and I'm stressed out because I can't even go to the bathroom without my mom, let alone drive all across country with strangers. But we made it. We made it back to Utah and moved in with my grandparents and they got it solved for a little while. Then my mom got a job like they got their argument solved, I should say. When my mom got a job, we moved into some low income apartments and lived there for a while.

Becky Sheffer:

And this stepdad, leroy, he found us. So my mom had to file for divorce and doing that, he found our address. So about a year later probably, he shows up at our doorstep in Orem and my mom was at work and it was just me home alone and I answered the door. Quite a surprise to see Leroy there and he's begging. You know, please forgive me, I want to. You know, I don't want a divorce, I want to live with you. I hitchhiked all the way here from Georgia and I don't want't want a divorce. Please let me talk to your mom, talk her into it. I stood my ground, I yelled at him. I said get off my porch, I'll call the police. I don't want you in my life. Get out of my life, don't ever come back. I never saw him. I'm so grateful that my mom was at home, because she was not the brightest when it comes to making decisions, when it comes to men, so I was grateful that he was gone, and so that's.

Becky Sheffer:

I mean, there's lots of crazy, weird stories like that in this book that I've shared, and my thing is is, when people say, write a book, it's like, well, what do I write about. And so one Sunday I got thinking about writing this book and we were talking about Nephi and how he went back and he wrote from the past to the present and doing this he was able to see the tender mercies of God, and I think that that's what's so beautiful about his book. I'm not Nephi, but looking back, I mean, could you imagine if Nephi was writing the scriptures the day of like and my brother's beating me up again? Here's the testimonial Bound again, you know. So anyway, he writes it in a different perspective, and so I thought I could do that. I can write it and I can look for God's tender mercies in my life, and so that's what I've done is try to find the good in surviving, you know, surviving these things and all the other fun things. So my, I won't go into too much detail of it because it'll be an eight-hour podcast and your ratings will go way down, and so we better not do that.

Becky Sheffer:

But my mom ended up divorcing him and then, shortly after, married another quack, quacky, doodle quackadoodle is what I call him, this guy. He thought the government was going to put us in concentration camps and so he moved us down to southern Utah. We lived in the desert for two years, then a tent and I worked in his concentration camp, but anyway, so that's how I got to Hurricane Utah. So I call it Hurricane Home, because you know, because I moved around as a kid all the time, I never went to school. I found a report card that said I went to second grade 22 days of the entire year. So when we moved down to Tokerville to live in this tent, to get away from the government, I went to school for the full two years. I'd never done that. I never went to school consecutively every day.

Becky Sheffer:

And the reason why I liked going to school is so I wouldn't have to stay home and work in his crazy camp. So I worked pretty hard. He worked me like a man. I was pretty buff. I would arm worked me like a man. I was pretty buff, I had arm wrestle all the football players and win them, and so I was pretty buff little kid back then. But I made friends and I've never lived in a place that long, so that's why I call Hurricane home. I don't have any family down there, but I sure do love Hurricane, um. So after she divorced him, I wanted to stay in Hurricane. So, um, we stayed down there until I graduated. And um, and so after, uh, after she divorced that second step dad, I graduate.

Becky Sheffer:

About my 11th grade year I decided to um graduate high school and I thought, well, I better go to school if I'm going to graduate high school. And then I went to a career day and that was a great day. One of the guys there at the career center said I want to talk to the women and the girls. I want you guys to understand how important education is. Even if you are the lucky person that gets married and your husbands take care of you. You still you know what if something bad happens? And I thought, yeah, I know that situation too well. You know, I've been homeless too many times. I don't want to do this anymore. So if getting going to college and getting a career means I can pay my bills and have my own boombox and my pancakes, I'll do it.

Scott Brandley:

No doubt.

Becky Sheffer:

So I decided to get serious and so I signed up for some college classes. Back then it was called Dixie College, so I was going high school classes doing packets, um, took some college classes and then I signed up for a dental assisting college. So I got it. I was doing that and so by the time it was time to graduate, I had caught up and I finally was able to graduate on time and um, and so I thought, well, I better go on to college, like this man said.

Becky Sheffer:

So I took the SAT test the worst idea ever. I mean this was a bad idea. First of all I paid for it and then I sit down for it and um, and, like I said, I didn't go to school when I was a kid. So I I learned through the times that I did go to school. Um, I learned how to read words, so I could read words, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. So I take this SAT test and I bomb it, and I bomb it hard. I mean I already knew I bombed it and then they send the results telling me how bad I bombed it. So I got the results back and said that I was at a third grade learning level.

Scott Brandley:

I mean, that's pretty impressive. I don't even think I made it through third grade.

Becky Sheffer:

So that's pretty good, I guess, but anyway it was pretty bad. So I that didn't stop me. I still wanted to make my own money. So I went up to Weber I to make my own money. So I went up to Weber I. Well, first of all I, when I graduated, I got a few scholarships and my principal was saying I got the scholarships because I worked so hard to graduate. And so so I went up to Weber State and I decided to do dental hygiene was my major, because I was.

Becky Sheffer:

I was smart, I know my weaknesses and that one did not require a lot of math. And so I'm like well, I can do this, I don't have to take a math class, I can do anything. So I signed up for you know, all these prerequisites for the dental hygiene program and I was, I was struggling, struggling. Um, college was hard for me. I would do okay in class if the teacher taught us everything. I could comprehend that. But when it came time to reading assignments and books, I would have to read it about three or four times to understand what was going on.

Becky Sheffer:

Um, it was hard. I was barely passing, like if I got got a c, that was like an a. You know, I got a c. I'm passing the class. This is a good life, I'm doing great. So it was a struggle. I worked very hard to where I was at and, um, I did that for a couple, uh, for a few years until I was about I was around 20, turning 21 years old. So I've been in college for two years and just struggling. I'm still going. I'm still going. I'm still taking classes. I'm still doing it, but it's a struggle. I get a phone call from my mom on my birthday telling me that oh, this is a tad bit information my parents, my mom and my dad, married each other again because, you know, the fifth time is the right time.

Trevor Heninger:

Five times, five times, okay yeah.

Becky Sheffer:

They got it down. I hope they saved all the wedding decor because, you know, no, I think they got married in courthouses and stuff. So, anyway, when I turned 18 and I graduated, they got married that week. So they married each other, which was great and I didn't have to take care of my mom. Um, I had to take care of my mom a lot, so it was great that my dad could do that now, um, so I'm turning 21 years old and I thought they were calling me to tell me happy birthday, but they're calling to tell me that my dad had had a heart attack. And so I rushed down to they're living in Taylorsville and I'm in Ogden.

Becky Sheffer:

So I rushed down to Taylorsville and my dad. They took him into surgery and then they told my dad that he needed to quit smoking and so, and to change his diet and all sorts of things. And so my, my mom, who grew up a member of the church, um, said, hey, I know some missionaries that will teach you how to quit smoking. And so when he got home from the hospital, she started having missionaries come over every week and teach him how to stop smoking. And then my dad actually is illiterate. He can't read or write. He can write his name and that's it. And so they were going to teach him how to read. And that's through the Book of Mormon they were going to teach him how to read. So I would drive down once a week to support him.

Becky Sheffer:

I had no interest in going to church. That wasn't on my radar to do. I just turned 21. So why would I start going to church? So I just had a different lifestyle at that point.

Becky Sheffer:

I started taking the missionary lessons with my dad, and after a couple of weeks into it, the missionaries asked me if I wanted to start reading the Book of Mormon. And I thought no, I can't even read my schoolwork, you know. But okay, if it's for my dad, I'll do it. So I start reading the Book of Mormon and it's so confusing, holy cow. It's the names, everything. What is going on? I've never read scriptures before. This is so confusing to me. So I remember I meet with the missionaries. I'm like what is happening with some rod and a tree? I'm like I'm really lost. I don't understand that. I don't think I can do this. And so they explained it to me. I still didn't get it, but I was like, okay, this is great.

Becky Sheffer:

Well then they asked if I wanted to pray with my dad, if both of us wanted to pray with them and ask if the Book of Mormon was true and if Joseph Smith was a true prophet. And I never prayed with my dad before, I never heard him say a prayer, and so I said, okay, yeah, we'll do it. And so we all four got on our knees and the two elders started the prayer off, and then it came to my turn and as I prayed, I asked if Heavenly Father would tell me if Joseph Smith was a real prophet and if the Book of Mormon was true and if they did see God, the Father and Jesus Christ. And the answer was so strong. It was as if my knees were cemented into the ground. It was a solid, my body was solid and such a peaceful feeling and I was sure yes, and I just knew it right then that what they were teaching me was true. I couldn't deny that feeling. That was not made up, that was real.

Becky Sheffer:

And then my dad took his turn to pray and we got up and I was just bawling and they asked me and I said I was told, yes, now what? And so they said, okay, great, keep reading your Book of Mormon and find a church to attend. And so I was just the beginning of all of this process and so they told me to go to a singles ward at Weber State and so I attended the ward there and that poor bishop. I found him and I said I think I have to tell you all the bad things I've done because I found out that Jesus is real and true and Joseph Smith is a real prophet and I have this other life that I've been living for the last 21 years. And that poor bishop he's probably like who is this gal? But anyway, I wanted to just make everything right and from that moment on I I completely changed. I mean, I lived with a roommate who is not LDS, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and she was like what happened? You know, we like to party and stuff, and so it went from I'm not doing that anymore, I'm now going to church.

Becky Sheffer:

So I started reading the Book of Mormon on top of all my studying, and that was really hard. I had a friend who I called Grandma. That was really hard. I had a friend who I called Grandma. She sent me this old school 1970s study guide of the Book of Mormon. It's got a brown cover and it's got Angel Moroni I think it's not Angel, but anyway Moroni or somebody with the plates there and so I bought the cassettes on tape the Book of Mormon cassettes on tape, so I would play it, I would read it as I was listening, and then I'd stop it and I would read the study guide.

Becky Sheffer:

So I was really trying to figure this out. I had my answer, I knew that it was true and so I knew I needed to read it and understand it. So I would do that. And about halfway through the Book of Mormon I didn't need that recording anymore. I was reading it straight through for the first time and understanding everything I was reading. And then my schoolwork was the same way. I wasn't reading my book four times, these boring textbooks. I would read it once and I would get it. I was acing my tests, my grades were straight A's. If I could pull up my transcript, my Weber State transcript, it would show, you know, c's, d's and then all of a sudden, a's. Just I was getting it. I was not a struggle, it was all understanding and getting it.

Becky Sheffer:

And there's just power in the Book of Mormon. There is so much blessings when we follow those promptings. When we do that, heavenly Father blesses us individually. And I feel bad when I share my story of when I prayed and I got a strong answer yes, because I know there's so many people out there who have struggled with that, with getting that exact yes. But I think Heavenly Father knows my personality, he knows my patience, he knows Becky cannot go longer than five minutes without an answer. No, I just think it was all just timing and my personality and such, and so, yeah, I just would love to just bear testimony in the power of the Book of Mormon.

Becky Sheffer:

But it's so powerful and I've never yet met somebody who reads the Book of Mormon every day, who has fallen away from the church. You know, it's just a safeguard, it's power, it's protection, and so if there's a challenge, if anybody is watching this, if they're not bored yet, they're still watching, they're still with us I would challenge them to read the Book of Mormon. Find out for yourself. Don't take my word for it, take your word for it, read it. Read of Mormon. Find out for yourself. Don't take my word for it, take your word for it, read it. Read the whole thing and pray for it, you'll get an answer. It's amazing. If you're struggling, the answers are in the Book of Mormon. I just know this. I love it. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, who knows me and who loves me and who gives me these opportunities to know him.

Becky Sheffer:

So after I finished the Book of Mormon, I was going to church regularly and I met my husband shortly after that. He got home from a mission and I tricked him into marrying me and he hasn't regretted it yet At least he hasn't told me. That's a plus, yeah, so anyway, we got married and we have five kids and moved to Burley, idaho, which I love. This place, I love Burley. It's so great. But anyway, I've just been chatting it up, so sorry if you have any questions or I skip ahead or anything like that. Yeah, it's all there in the book if you're totally bored.

Scott Brandley:

I was curious was there something particular that you'd like to share about the atonement of Jesus Christ and how that may have influenced you or helped you with healing? Because I imagine there's a lot of trauma in your life from all those traumatic experiences you had as a child oh, yeah, thanks, yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks for bringing that up.

Becky Sheffer:

I love talking about Jesus Christ. Sometimes I wonder if I'm in the wrong religion, you know, because I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to yell at people Jesus loves you, anyway. So thank you. Yes, with my mom.

Becky Sheffer:

My mom made quite a bit of mistakes growing up, but yet she still had this love for the Savior and so she would have moments where she would want to be near him and she would start going to church and I was able to see my mom repent many times. I didn't understand it, but I could see my mom. She met with the bishop. A lot that's how I knew to meet with the bishop was because I followed my mom. She was always on this repentance and always asking for forgiveness and just talking about how much she loved the savior and how much he's forgiven her, and so I think that instilled a seed in my heart that I didn't know at the time. Um, yes, when I yeah, when I um started coming to church, I was like, wow, I have done some pretty stupid things in my life. I mean, I live to be a teenager and I've made a lot of mistakes coming to Heavenly Father and asking for forgiveness and feeling that love and that forgiveness and just feeling that acceptance. He loves us no matter where we are in our life, and that's one of the tender mercies. I see that I pointed out in my book that I wasn't going to church growing up. My mom wasn't.

Becky Sheffer:

We were making bad choices but even during the bad choices I could see Heavenly Father's hand in my life protecting me and loving me and he doesn't give up on us. He loves us. He loves me just as much as he loves a drug addict on the streets. He loves me just as much as he loves my stepdad. He loves me so much and he loves all, everybody. He loves us all and I love that. I love that of my savior and it's helped me. I don't hold grudges. I'm not angry at either any of my stepdads or people in my past. I'm not angry at them. I would love it if I showed up at the temple and they were there. You know I don't want to go on a picnic with them, I don't want to hang out with them or anything like that, but I would love to see them feel what I feel. But I think that knowing that and feeling that forgiveness allows me to forgive others because I've been forgiven. So yeah, thank you for asking that.

Scott Brandley:

You're welcome.

Trevor Heninger:

Yeah, I mean you've kind of lived an interesting life because half of your life was, you know, it's going on these wild adventures. I don't know if I'd call them adventures. It's going on these wild adventures, I don't know if I'd call them adventures. You live this life that few people live outside of the church, and then you have the second part of your life where you've been in the church, you know, do you ever? I mean, how does that affect you in your life? Do you ever think about your past?

Becky Sheffer:

Sometimes I think I'm blessed with being able to just get through things. Today in church we talked about spiritual gifts. I honestly think I have a spiritual gift of just going through hard times and just going through it and pushing through, and so I've been blessed with that. I'm kind of at the halfway point of my life, or a little over half now, but I've lived half a crazy you know not crazy, but half a life of not in the church and a half life in the church, and I would definitely take the second half. I joke because people say are you going to write a second book? I'm like no, my life is so boring. Now, this is great. I love this boring half of my life.

Becky Sheffer:

You know I don't have anything to write about. Life is too good, but I'm grateful there's so much stability in in the gospel and knowing and knowing that we have a God, we have a heavenly father who loves us and the son Jesus Christ, and knowing who we are, it's easy to to love others when you feel that love. And knowing who you are, it's easy to feel that love and what happened to your parents so my parents, yeah, they got married, which was it's a shocker.

Becky Sheffer:

I'm still shocked about that. But my mom passed away 15 years ago. She, she was sick my whole life, just in and out of the hospital and just really sick, and so she passed away from. She had lupus and all sorts of other diseases. But right before she passed away, actually, she asked me to go to the temple with her. So I I got to be her escort and go to temple with her and that was a really yeah, it's a, it's a great moment.

Becky Sheffer:

My mom's always been temple, temple bound, my her whole life, but just gets mixed up with bad people. But her bad choices, not people, um, anyway, so she, yes, so they stayed, they, they worked through their, their ups and downs. They both were re-baptized into the church and then, after my mom passed away, my dad lived alone for a while and he passed away nine years ago. He was, he tried to give up smoking, but he just never could. You know that's so addicting and so hard. So it eventually took him just bad health from smoking and eating poorly. And so, yeah, I always tell people I'm an orphan, I'm an only kid. Between those two I have an older brother and an older sister from my mom's previous marriage and I love them. I call them my brother and sister, but they're wonderful. But growing up they were married. They got married young and so I didn't live with them.

Scott Brandley:

But yeah, wow, great stories.

Becky Sheffer:

Oh, thanks Wow Great stories.

Trevor Heninger:

Oh, thanks, yeah, I don't. I don't know. I'm like, I'm just curious about the the camp that you stayed at, living in a tent, for two years.

Becky Sheffer:

Oh yeah.

Trevor Heninger:

What was, what was that experience?

Becky Sheffer:

like, Like so I just didn't know how much time you want had or me to go into, so I we got we got, so I just didn't know how much time you want, had or me to go into.

Becky Sheffer:

We have a little bit. Okay, yeah. So I at the time I was 11 years old, living in Orem, utah, and and so my, my stepdad, my mom, marries him and, luckily for me, he has a daughter that's around my age she's just a grade younger than me and we become best friends, and so that was that was helpful. But they get married and he thinks that the government's going to put us in these concentration camps. And then he's seeing visions of the world coming, you know, to an end and a big earthquake comes, coming to an end, and a big earthquake comes and he sees our house go in like this big earthquake and fall down. And so I'm all scared about this. As an 11-year-old girl, I'm like, okay, well, this is scary. So he had brainwashed us pretty good about the government coming after us. We were not supposed to talk to people about this. He told us that the government would be coming to our schools and when they do, we just look straight down and walk out the door and then we have a meetup place. So at this time I'm pretty anxious, like I'm ready to move to Southern Utah, I'm ready to get out before the government finds us and before this earthquake happens.

Becky Sheffer:

And so we moved down and we pull up to the desert. He's like this is home. But there was no home, there was no road, there was no, it was desert. There wasn't even a place to pull his truck into his Bronco, into or laser, and so we had to excavate by hand. Um, I don't know if you've ever been to the desert, but you can't dig very easy in the desert without hitting a big rock. You know, there's so many rocks. So we got these five gallon buckets and we would fill them up with dirt and rocks and we'd carry them both on each side to both even us out and we'd dump it along the way so we could flatten out a road to pull into, and so we were able to make a driveway down. And then, yes, we had tents. Um, him, um, he and my mom lived in a tent that he built, that he designed as a pyramid, because he believed that pyramids give you these special powers, energy powers so when they wake up they're energized. But my sister and I, my stepsister and I, we had just a regular tent with no energy powers, which we really could have used them because we were his workers. So, anyway, we move, we live there and we're building, you know, always flattening out land, and he wants to build a shop because he invented these windmills, a different type of windmills. I'm not making this up. Somebody did read my story, my book, and said, did you make that up? And I'm like, oh, I'm not. No, I probably would have done a better job of making things up, I don't know Anyway. So yeah, so he's invented these windmills. We had to build this big shop for him to work on these windmills.

Becky Sheffer:

But he was really into the Native Americans and so he became friends with a tribe down there, and at this time I'm 11 years old, going on 12. And so he became friends with a tribe down there, and at this time I'm 11 years old, going on 12. In fact, I turned 12. And for my 12th birthday I got an AK-47 gun Because we had to protect ourselves from the government. Got my gun. Probably won't be able to use it, but anyways, that's what we do we shoot our guns, get prepared for the government, but anyway he comes friends with these Native American tribe down there.

Becky Sheffer:

I don't know what the tribe name is, because I was 11, 12. He was a quackadoodle and I didn't want anything to do with what he wanted to do. I'm like you're crazy, I don't like you. So I've never had authority in my life. You know, my mom was just flighty go to school if you want, don't, whatever. Just never. Nobody ever told me what to do. But he would tell me what to do and he would make me do all these jobs, and so I didn't really like him or his stuff. But anyway, we get adopted into this Native American tribe and, and doing that, they gave us Indian names, and my name was White Cloud, which means high above all and lets the shine, high above all and lets the sun shine through. And so that's what I named my book. A Girl Named White Cloud. But so I'm.

Becky Sheffer:

You know, we've got these Indian names. We're hanging out with these people and they're coming over and they bless our land, and so we follow this man around. He's burning this sagebrush rope braided. He's burning it. He's got an eagle feather and we're walking around the whole property and he's blessing the property. Thank, grandfather, for this earth, this land. And I'm like who's grandfather? What is going on, you know? And so, um, yeah, we, we've become part of that.

Becky Sheffer:

Well then, my, the stepdad of mine. He smoked a lot of marijuana and so he had us go around and plant his marijuana all along the desert. So, and when we would plant them, we didn't know it was marijuana. By the way, the federal government's watching um, no, I'm just kidding anyway. So we're planting these. You know 11, 12 year old girls planting marijuana all around and we would have to tag them with this red fabric and so we know where they are and anyway.

Becky Sheffer:

So that was interesting, living with him, and I didn't find out what they were until my mom divorced him and we moved away and she finally told me but yeah, sometimes I wonder, like, if my mom was alive I'm sure I'd be like Mom. What in the world Now that I'm a mom and I have kids, like what were you thinking At the time? It was just all normal to me. But yeah, it was hard. We didn't have running water or electricity and being a teenage girl is kind of rough. So we would fill up buckets and gallons up at Tokerville Falls at the spring and we would fill that up, and then sometimes we'd even just drive into town at a gas station and use our hose and fill up buckets for our water, and so living in a tent was interesting.

Becky Sheffer:

The winds were really tough. They're really strong down there, it's why it's called hurricane, or hurricane to some people but and so it would get really windy and things would be blowing around and it was pretty. It was pretty tough the first summer I was there. I he worked us really hard. I mean, I'm not just saying it was hard because I'm a wimp, but it was. I was a man slave for him as man labor, but I ended up getting heat stroke.

Becky Sheffer:

It was really hot and I was really sick from this and at the time we didn't have a house. I couldn't just go in and get air conditioning and cool off and there was no shade, there was no trees. I couldn't. The biggest thing that would give me shade was no shade. There was no trees, I couldn't. The biggest thing that would give me shade was this big, huge boulder rock and it gave some shade, but it was still that heat coming off that rock and the ground. There was just no hope and um, and we couldn't tell people where we lived or our names, because the government won't find us and so I couldn't go for medical help.

Becky Sheffer:

Well, luckily and this is another tender mercy his mother showed up. She didn't even live by us. She came down to visit and she could see how sick I was. I was probably getting delirious at the time. I was really sick. She put me in her car and cranked up the air conditioning and just blew it on me and the whole time I just remember I kept telling her turn your car off, turn your car off, it's gonna overheat and then you're gonna have to blast me with hot air.

Becky Sheffer:

I was so scared from that trip four days ago about that heat.

Becky Sheffer:

We didn't have nice cars so I didn't know what air conditioning, how long it lasted or whatever, but I was so worried about it. Anyway they she did talk him into me going to the hospital and getting help and what part of the agreement for me to go to the hospital and get help was I couldn't tell anybody where I lived or why I got heat stroke or anything, because the government would find us and I didn't want the government to find us. You know I was scared, um, as well. So so we go in, we're just. I think my mom told her a story that we were hiking or something, I don't know, but I got IV therapy and got all fixed up and back so I could go back and work real hard again. Yeah, that was quite the experience living there and really I don't think I could make it if I didn't have that. His daughter, my stepsister I call her Hillary in the book, but she was a huge blessing and I wish I was in more contact with her, but we went separate ways, unfortunately Wow.

Trevor Heninger:

Yeah, good time.

Scott Brandley:

I live in Hurricanes so I know how windy it is and how hot it gets, like 115 degrees. You know most of the summer. Yeah, yeah, it's hot, I get it. Yeah, we went to 10.

Trevor Heninger:

Trevor, go out and make an attempt this summer. See how it goes.

Becky Sheffer:

Yeah, yeah, oh geez. Yeah, it actually invent windmills, because he probably would have done really well. It's so windy, right? No, yeah. Yeah, he was waiting on a patent or something for the generator part right, yeah, that's gonna work.

Becky Sheffer:

Oh yeah, yeah, darn it. Oh yeah, good times. Oh, it's a much different place down there now. We went down to visit and I'm like you guys have more than one red light and, uh, more than two places to eat and a movie theater. Holy cow, it's a different world down there, yeah I love hurricane moving on up yep awesome.

Trevor Heninger:

Well, beck, this has been super fun. Really appreciate you sharing your story. Do you have any final thoughts before we wrap things up?

Becky Sheffer:

I do. I the purpose of you know my, my whole reason. I don't mean to like talk about my book, but the whole reason I share these stories and wrote this book and share this is to see God's love and for people to understand that there are little I call them little Becky Davises out there. There are kids out there that live a hard life because of parents' choices and just remember to love them and those and not even just the children, but people who struggle with addictions or whatever just love them. They're Heavenly Father's children as well. And so if we could just reach out and just, I don't know, just try to be kind.

Becky Sheffer:

This world needs more love, more kindness. Let's follow our Savior. He gives us, he tells us, the greatest commandment is to love our God and then to love our neighbor, and I think I mean that's a big commandment, that's the commandment. So I think it's very important, I think it's something. If we could show kindness and love to people, we'll win the battle for sure. Life will be easier for us and them. But, um, that would be my message is just to try to understand others and just love them, for for how heavenly father loves them.

Scott Brandley:

Awesome.

Trevor Heninger:

Any last thoughts Trevor.

Scott Brandley:

I don't know, I love, I love how she finished up. You can't get any better than that right Focusing on love. God is love, and those commandments are amazing. Thanks so much for sharing with us, becky. I learned some things. I love your example.

Becky Sheffer:

Oh, thanks.

Trevor Heninger:

Well, thanks, Becky. Okay, so the name of your book is oh, I have it here.

Becky Sheffer:

You want me to show you.

Trevor Heninger:

Yeah, show a picture of it.

Becky Sheffer:

And please understand, I didn't write this book to sell books. I thought I would sell four books, but you know I've sold more than four, but I thought I'd only sell four. But anyway, this is it here. It's called A Girl Named cloud, a story of light shining through the darkness. And if you, if you, want a quick read, it's a quick read and you don't have to, I'm not, I'm not gonna hold anybody to it. I, I just wrote it because I was told to, that's all. Anyway, yes, that's it well, that's cool.

Trevor Heninger:

Thanks for letting me share it yeah, that's a lot of work to write a book, so yeah, yeah.

Becky Sheffer:

Well, it's more work for editing it and that was my husband's job. The poor guy and he didn't even get paid and you're still married. Yeah, I know, he still likes me, yeah.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, that's awesome.

Trevor Heninger:

That's great. Well, thanks again, becky, for being on the show. Really appreciate it. Thank you, and thanks, trevor, for hanging out and being my co-host Anytime Scott, it was a pleasure. So, anyone watching, go check out Becky's book if you're interested in that. And thanks for tuning in. If you know somebody that could benefit from becky's story, go hit that share button, do your five second missionary work and if you know someone that has a story, tell them to go to latterdaylightscom and let's have them on the show. Well, thanks again, thank you, and we will talk to you next week with another story. Until then, take care, bye-bye.

People on this episode

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Scott Brandley

Host
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Alisha Coakley

Co-host