LDS Podcast "Latter-Day Lights" - Inspirational LDS Stories

God's Tender Mercies Amidst a Mother's Grief: Karen Poulsen's Story - Latter-Day Lights

• Scott Brandley and Alisha Coakley

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When your world crumbles beneath the weight of sudden loss, can a fleeting miracle open your eyes to the closeness of Heaven?

For mother, florist, and part-time mortuary hairdresser, Karen Poulsen, the unexpected passing of her beloved son Tanner tore her world apart—leaving a gaping wound that no earthly comfort could seem to fill. But in those darkest hours, she felt him through mundane yet extraordinary moments that could only be reasoned by his presence. Described as "tender mercies," they revealed to her that our loved ones never truly leave us. From a family picture fiasco, to a heartfelt Christmas celebration, Karen’s stories affirm that every prayer echoes with God’s compassion if we’re willing to listen.

Holding fast to her son’s love for Lego building and his dream of easing others’ burdens, Karen launched the “I Love Us Project.” By working with organizations to distribute Lego sets to individuals with intellectual disabilities, she honors Tanner’s memory and extends the kind of care and creativity he cherished so deeply.

Join us in this moving episode of Latter-day Lights, where Karen’s journey illustrates that God’s tender mercies—however subtle or surprising—can fill even the deepest void with the promise of eternal love, hope, and purpose.

*** Please SHARE Karen's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***

To WATCH this episode, visit: https://youtu.be/6rTP59A87yk

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To DONATE to the "I Love Us Project," visit: https://www.iloveusproject.com/

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Scott Brandley:

Hey everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.

Alisha Coakley:

And I'm Alisha Coakley. Every member of the church has a story to share, one that can instill faith, invite growth and inspire others.

Scott Brandley:

On today's episode we're going to hear how the Lord is using tender mercies to show one mother grieving the loss of her son that our loved ones still walk beside us. Welcome to Latter-day Lights. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Latter-day Lights. We're so glad you're here with us today. We're really excited to introduce our special guest, Karen Poulsen, to the show. Welcome, Karen.

Karen Poulsen:

Glad to be here. Thank you so much.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, thank you for reaching out. When you did, and you sent me your story and then just some links to read over. I mean, the spirit was just so strong in that. So I'm so, so excited for you to be able to come on here and just share all of the beautiful things that you've been able to experience through some hardship and tragedy. And tragedy and, um, I'm just going to warn our guests who probably wanted to grab I have tissues, karen has tissues. We're going to try to get Scott today to cry a little bit.

Scott Brandley:

No, that's like I'll have to go get hard to do.

Alisha Coakley:

But, uh, yeah, this this is going to be a little one that tugs at your heartstrings and, I think, also really helps you feel the spirit. So thank you so much, karen, for coming on and sharing your story and your son with us.

Karen Poulsen:

We appreciate it. I appreciate the opportunity, yeah.

Scott Brandley:

Awesome. Well, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself, Karen?

Karen Poulsen:

Well, I'm 62 and I've got four wonderful children and nine grandchildren. They're the love of my life and we live in central Utah, in a little town of Richville, and I've lived here, oh let's see, since I was 12, moved to Utah from California, oh wow, and I joined the church when I was 14. So there was me and another sister who joined, and then later another sister joined, and then later my mother joined, so the rest of the family is not members, but, um, there's four of us now. So, wow, very cool move moving to utah nice.

Alisha Coakley:

Are you retired? Are you still? Are you working? Got any hobbies? I?

Karen Poulsen:

work like a ton of different jobs. So I work in a floral shop just a couple of days a week. Oh, and then I'm also a hairdresser. But I developed tremors about 13 years ago, so I've slowly been giving that up, because nobody wants to see a hairdresser with scissors like this. I only have a few diehards that that still come. And then I also work doing hair in a mortuary. They don't care if my, if my hands are shaking, so yeah, that works. And then I have an online business and then I run a non so yeah, that's, you make me tired.

Karen Poulsen:

Wow, Directions all the time so wow, I love, like.

Alisha Coakley:

I mean, I think you're our first guest that's ever mentioned working in a mortuary before it me of um. This is gonna date me, my girl. You guys remember that movie? Or? Who was the uh main the holy?

Alisha Coakley:

calkin well, the girl that worked as the makeup artist um, I can see her curdy uh, jamie lee curtis right, was it jamie lee curtis? And she would do makeup and hair and something. And I remember that was my first time being like, oh, I would do that job. And so for as long as I've been married, I've been telling my husband that's my one of my dreams one day is to actually own a funeral home and to be like the director, Like I don't really want to do all of the embalming and stuff, but I want to do, like the hair, the makeup and then the the actual funeral, like planning and prepping and stuff. So that's all I'm going to have to talk to you, get some tips from you afterwards.

Alisha Coakley:

I love it. Yeah, yeah, it's. You know, it's one of those things where, like, a lot of people probably think, oh, my gosh, like that would be so scary or how can you do that. But I don't know. For me personally, I just I feel like it's, it's like such a sweet, tender, like gift that you can give to someone you know, and and not just to them but to their family too, Cause the whole point is to make sure that they look like themselves right to really like bring a little bit of them and their personality back into the last time that their families might see them. So it's such a beautiful thing that you're doing I, I love that.

Karen Poulsen:

Virtual experience as well. I can imagine my family think I'm crazy because I tell them I talk to these people. You know, I don't know most of them. Some of them I do because we're in a small town so some people that I do, I do know, but the majority of them I don't. But still I I ask them is is it okay? Is your hair okay? You know? But, that this kind of neat well, we're very thankful for people like you.

Alisha Coakley:

So, thank you, awesome, all right. Well, you have. I mean, you're already fascinating just in this intro. I um, I know a little bit of your story and I'm just really excited to have Scott hear it and our listeners hear it. So we'll turn the time over to you, karen, and, uh, we'll just let you share where your story begins.

Karen Poulsen:

Okay, well, first of all I think I need to back up a little bit. I want to back up about a year before my son passed. We had some things happen during that year that at the time I didn't understand and I kind of felt like my prayers weren't being answered. They weren't even being heard, and so we had sold our home and we had planned to move down south to St George where my son lived, and I have another daughter and her family that lived down there. So we sold our home here and we bought a home in Hurricane and we just rented it out until we were ready to go down there and we moved into a rental here in Richville and after about a year in this rental, the owners of the rental said we need you guys to be out in five weeks. We decided, and well, at that time her parents lived in Australia, they were going to move home and they were going to live in this home. So we had five weeks to find a home and this was at the beginning of that big boom. There was no rentals available and we got down to about five days before we had to be out and we hadn't found a place yet and we were looking in our stake because my husband was a high councilman over the young single adult board and we loved being in the young single adult board and we loved being in the young single adult board and we did not want to leave and there was no rentals. We looked everywhere within the state and could not find a single place to rent. So about five days before we had to be out, I was talking to the owner of the mortuary that I work at and telling him you know, if you hear of any place, let me know, because we're getting desperate. And he's like I have a place. I'm like, wow. He says well, actually we just sold it it, but we haven't signed papers yet. So let me meet you over there tonight, you can take a look at it. And we did that and so he rented us this house. It was not in the state, it was in a different state and it was in an area I did not want to live. The area that this house is in a lot of doctors, rich people, that's not me. And I thought, oh, okay, this is temporary, we'll live in this house just till we can find some other place. So we moved in, ended up really, really liking this board, and I'm going to come back to how this plays into this in just a little bit how this turned out to be a tender mercy from our Heavenly Father.

Karen Poulsen:

A little bit later that year well earlier my children had given us a gift certificate for family pictures about a year before, and so I had made an appointment with this photographer, who is a personal friend of mine and she's booked out like a whole year. So we made this appointment for October of 22. And I told my kids you've got a whole year to plan for this. Make sure nothing comes up. You will be there for family pictures, because we hadn't had one in years.

Karen Poulsen:

So in August of that year, my son Tanner calls me and he says I've got bad news, like you know what? Well, his best friend, bryce, was getting married and he was asked to be one of the best men, and it was on the day of our pictures and it was up north. So I was really bummed, thinking okay, I don't know when we're going to get back in for these pictures, but it's probably going to have to be spring because we don't want winter pictures. So I called up my friend who is a photographer and told her I'm sorry we've got to cancel that date. Can we book something in the spring? And she said to me absolutely not.

Karen Poulsen:

She says you never know what might happen and we need to get you in for your pictures. So she says as soon as I have a cancellation, I'm going to call you and you're going to tell your kids to drop everything. Wow. So two weeks later she called. This was the end of August of 22, wow. And when I told them, I says my friend, she says to drop everything. This is the only time we can get these pictures done, until next year. My kids dropped everything.

Karen Poulsen:

Wow, and they showed up and we went and had family pictures done. And we went and had family pictures done and it was just six months later that my son passed. If we had waited until spring he would not have been in those family pictures. So again, that was one of those tender mercies that we received At Christmas. That same year we always we traveled to each of our children's houses for Christmas, like we'll go down south for one year, we'll go up north to our other son's house one year.

Karen Poulsen:

Well, this particular year it was our turn to go down to my daughter's house in St George for Christmas, and Tanner would always come over to her house for Christmas because he lived down there as well. And a few weeks before Christmas she informed us that her husband's family all decided to go to Hawaii for Christmas, so we couldn't go down to her house. So we decided to go up north to our other son's house. But we didn't want to make Tanner drive all the way from St George up to Eagle Mountain for Christmas and and then have to turn around and go right back to work. So we decided we would have Christmas at our house with just him. We thought it was going to be really, really weird not having any grandkids. But again, it was a tender mercy from our Heavenly Father that we were able to have that last Christmas with our son and again it was less than two months later that he was gone. So on February 12th we're coming up on two years, february 12th of 23,.

Karen Poulsen:

My husband was supposed to be traveling down and spending the night with Tanner that night and on his way to a conference the next day and he called Tanner on his way down to let him know he was on his way and he didn't answer. And he got down there and Tanner didn't answer. The door of his house. My husband called his phone. He didn't answer and for some reason we don't know how it got there but we had his garage door opener in our car. We have no clue, we don't know why it was there, but we had his garage door opener. So my husband went in and he found him and he had passed in his sleep. He'd been having some heart trouble that wasn't being taken too seriously, but his heart just stopped and my husband found him and needless, to say.

Karen Poulsen:

You know, it was just unbearably hard. My husband had to call me on the phone, I was home alone and you know. So that kind of started this period of me reflecting back on that year and all those tender mercies that Heavenly Father had given us, going back to this house that we moved into and how that played into this. Had we found a home in that other state, in the young single adults ward, we would not have had the support that we needed in the past, because single adults just aren't you know, it's just not something that they're going to do, but this board that we moved into.

Karen Poulsen:

they were amazing and I know that Heavenly Father as much as I begged him to help us find a place in the other state and I felt like he wasn't listening because it just wasn't happening. I looked back on it and realized he knew what I needed so how old was Tanner?

Karen Poulsen:

He was 31. He wasn't married, he was my baby, he was the youngest of the family and, yeah, so, you know, looking back on that year, I just I realized that Heavenly Father was preparing me by moving us into this other stake. I realized that Heavenly Father was preparing me by moving us into this other stake, into this amazing ward that we're in, by making sure we had those family pictures done and then giving us that Christmas with just him. All these things that I just thought, you know, nothing's working out, ended up working out just the way Heavenly Father wanted them to work out. Yeah, so I'm so grateful to him for those tender mercies that he gave us.

Karen Poulsen:

So the next part of my story is I just wanted to share that. We know Tanner's been with us every step of the way for the past two years and some of the things that have happened over the last two years still just boggles my mind. But I was supposed to go to Hawaii. Um, the week after Tanner passed and of course I canceled that trip, and a few months later my friend, who was I, was supposed to be going with her. She's a flight attendant, so she was just flying me over with her. She called me up and she says, karen, it's time I need to get you away. You're going to Hawaii with me. And I thought, okay, I'm just going to go.

Karen Poulsen:

Tanner was always kind of my travel buddy because my husband worked retail, which, if you know retail, you work all the time. So, tanner being single, we did a lot of traveling together Disney World, las Vegas, we've been to Texas, and so going to Hawaii without him just kind of felt wrong, right, but I went and the first day we got there we went snorkeling and when we were done I guess I was just feeling guilty, I don't know For being there and enjoying myself, I don't know, just being there without him. So I was having a really, really hard time. And my friend's, like do we need to take you back to the Airbnb? I'm like, yes, we do.

Karen Poulsen:

Well, before I tell you what we came back to, I have to give you a little bit of background on my son. He was a Lego artist and he would make these amazing mosaics like portraits of Marvel and Star Wars characters and gaming characters. They were amazing. Yeah, lego was his life. I mean, from the time he was a little boy, everything was Lego. His whole house was decorated with Lego. His whole house was decorated in Lego. Okay, it was amazing, and he sold his designs online. Three days after he passed, he was recognized by an international magazine for his work. Yeah, well, when we came back to our Airbnb, outside our door, on this big patio that's out front, it was covered in giant Lego. In giant Lego, I mean, of all the hundreds of Airbnbs we could have stayed at Tanner, I know that Tanner made sure we stayed at the one where he could show me that he was with me.

Scott Brandley:

Mm-hmm.

Karen Poulsen:

Wow. So, yeah, this giant Lego all over the yard. That kind of got me through the next few days. I was like, okay, I can do this, I can do this, he's with me. And I think it was on the fourth day. I was having another hard day and I was just down on these rocks and talking to a turtle that was down by my feet and I was crying to this turtle how much I miss him. And again my friend came up to me and says how much I miss him. And again my friend came up to me and says, so I need to get you back. And I'm like, yeah, I need to go back. So we got up to leave and I turned around on this rock. It etched into the rock right behind where I was sitting were the letters K-E-M that's my son's middle name.

Alisha Coakley:

Kim Kim. That's such a unique middle name too. It's not like Lee or Dan, or you know.

Karen Poulsen:

E-M-M-I-S, and we just gave him Kim as a middle name. It was also my older brother's kind of nickname. His friend used to call him Kim, so we gave that as a middle name to Tanner and it was etched in the rock.

Scott Brandley:

Wow, that's crazy.

Karen Poulsen:

It literally blew my mind. Yeah, I don't know how he orchestrated it, but I know somehow he did that to let me know that he was there with me. Wow, he did that to let me know that he was there with me, wow. And then, a few days later, on our way home, we were in the airplane. We were just taking off from the island. Beautiful, beautiful weather.

Karen Poulsen:

It did not rain the whole time we were there and we're just leaving the island and I was telling my friend you know, telling her, thank you that I knew Tanner was there with me and we looked out the window and the most beautiful rainbow, right off the wing of our airplane, but it hadn't been raining and I just knew Tana was saying it's okay, I'm still here, you know, everything's going to be okay. And again and again, that's just one little small part of the story. I'm going to back up a little bit to right after he passed. One other thing about Tanner is he had a condition called hyperhidrosis which made him sweat, and so he kept his house at 63 degrees in the middle of winter.

Karen Poulsen:

Wow, he put his house in freezing cold oh man, Really really cold. But again, a tender mercy about that, is it preserved Tanner's body, because we figured he laid there for almost two days?

Alisha Coakley:

Oh, wow.

Karen Poulsen:

And anyways, again, 63 degrees is what he kept it set at. Well, oh wait, I want to back up. I'm sorry, I'm going to back up and tell a different story before I go into that one.

Scott Brandley:

Okay.

Karen Poulsen:

Two nights after we found Tanner. We found him on a Sunday night. On Tuesday night I still had not slept. So Sunday night I didn't sleep. Monday night I didn't sleep.

Karen Poulsen:

Tuesday night I didn't sleep and I was making notes in my phone for his funeral. You know, seven weeks before Tanner passed, his best friend, who is also his cousin, lost his wife and child. Yeah, and at her funeral, just three weeks before, they couldn't get this was in Buffalo, new York, and they couldn't get her body out of Buffalo, new York, because of the storms that year. So they didn't have the funeral. She died December 22nd and they didn't have the funeral until the end of January. And at that funeral her parents spoke and Tanner said to me that he thought it was so wonderful that her parents could get up there and speak at her funeral. So I knew when Tanner passed, that's what I needed to do, that I needed to speak. To do that, rick, they needed to speak. So anyways, on Tuesday night it was 4.06 in the morning, I was on my phone making notes for their funeral and at 4.06 I laid my phone down on the nightstand and laid back back down and I heard Honey, mom, and I immediately started crying. I knew who it was and I knew exactly where he was. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was just off to the left above me and I told him how much I missed him.

Karen Poulsen:

And Tanner had not been active in the church for some time. He was an amazing young man, but he was not active in church. But he was not active in church and he said to me Mom, I want you to know that Granny set me straight. He was very close to his Granny. He had passed by, let's see, five years ago, I believe, no, six years ago, anyways. So Granny had set him straight and he said I have a lot of work to do, but I promise I'm going to get it done. And then, and then, and then he thanked me for what we were doing and I'm assuming he meant the funeral and then he asked me to add another honorary pallbearer. It was a girl that he worked with, because we had added all the guys he worked with, which is normal to have guys as your pallbearers. He asked me to add this girl and I told him we could do that. And then he told me he says Mom, I'm not really into flowers, would you mind asking people to bring a small, simple set of Lego to donate to my clients. He was a behavior analyst and he worked with intellectually handicapped adults and he wanted Lego to donate to these clients and I told him we could do that. And then he told me I looked so tired and he said I needed to roll over and go to sleep. And he said I needed to roll over and go to sleep and I told him I couldn't sleep and he told me he says I promise I'll stay right here by you, just go to sleep. So I rolled over to face my husband and he was looking right at me and he asked me what was going on. So I told him that Miss Tanner, him talking to me and of course he's like first thing in the morning we're writing this all down, which we did. Well.

Karen Poulsen:

Over the next few weeks I kind of started to doubt if it had really happened. I knew it had, but part of me was like how, how did that really happen? Was it really him? My oldest daughter bought tickets to go. I have to preface this with I have never believed in mediums. Part of me, I mean, I still believe most of them are fake. However, my daughter invited me to go see a medium in this group setting and I thought, okay, you know I'll go, I don't believe in this stuff at all. But we went and I told my daughter I says you know, even if this was real, tanner wouldn't come through because he would be the one telling everybody else you go first, you go first. And he didn't come through and he didn't. But I knew some of the people that were there and a part of me believed this woman because she was telling them things that I knew there was no way she could know. Well, that kind of softened my heart a little bit, I think. But the next day she was giving a seminar on living your best life and so my husband and I and my daughter went.

Karen Poulsen:

This was three weeks after Tanner passed and my husband and my daughter were on their lunch breaks and had to leave for me. But when we first came in I told my husband, tanner's here, I can feel him. And I felt him so, so strongly. And after an hour my husband and my daughter left and I just sat there during the seminar because again, I could just feel Tanner there with me. And when it was over, everybody went up to the front to talk to this lady and I just sat there feeling Tanner's presence. After a while I thought, okay, I don't want to look like one of her groupies, so I'm going to get up and leave. And so I got up and this was in the basement.

Karen Poulsen:

I was walking up the stairs to leave, somebody say excuse me? And I turned around and it was this woman and she asked me if I'd come back down. She wanted to talk to me for a minute. So she excused everybody and took me into a corner and she says was that your husband that came in here with you? And I said yes. And she says well, I have to let you know, there was a young man who came in with you and he was standing behind her husband. He kept saying I love you, dad. She says was that your son? And I said yes. And she says I have a feeling that he passed very recently, and I told her yes, it was three weeks ago. And she says well, he's still here and he wants to talk with you. Then she told me. She says she started holding her heart. She says he passed very suddenly in his sleep. It was his heart. This woman doesn't know me I had not posted anything about any of this on social media other than recent past. There's no way she knew any of this. But at that point I started, my heart really started to soften and thinking okay, there's something with this woman. And she went on to tell me that my son was showing her a rainforest. And I'm like I don't know anything about a rainforest. She says, well, it's these green hills and there's a big body of water and it's drizzling. And he says he's on a spiritual journey in this place. And she says he was also on a journey in this place on earth. And I knew at that point this was New Zealand.

Karen Poulsen:

My son had taken off for four and a half months. He needed to find himself and he had, like, flunked out of college. Um didn't know what he wanted to do with his life and he just decided he was going to go backpack through New Zealand and and that's where he went. And that's where he went. And the pictures that he sent us were of Wellington Bay. It's a big body of water with these big green hills, and it rained every day he was there. He went in their winter or summer, and so I knew that's what she was talking about and she says that he was on a spiritual journey there. He was on a similar journey here during that 20, new Zealand. My son realized what he wanted out of life. He knew exactly what he wanted to do when he came home. He got back in the school. He got straight A's. He went on to get his master's degree. So yeah, he had a similar journey on earth in New Zealand, but he was on a spiritual journey down in this place.

Karen Poulsen:

She went on to tell me that there was another spirit there with him. She went on to tell me that there was another spirit there with him and this other spirit was presenting with a football jersey. And she says that she thought his number might be a 13. She wasn't sure, but he had died of a head trauma and that he was attached to my third child. My third child is my other son and I immediately thought, well, maybe this was his friend that he lost to a brain tumor when he was 10 years old. And she said, no, that's not him.

Karen Poulsen:

And she says he's showing me a long stretch of road with a bend in the end and she says it was an accident. He died in a car accident and I knew exactly who she was talking about. It was my son's friend, his name was Cade and again, he was on this long stretch of road. They went to pass a car and got hit by a diesel and he was killed instantly and anyways, at that point they told her okay, I know who you're talking about. And she says he wants you to know that he decided to help your son transition out. And she says he wants you to know that he decided to help your son transition. Now I want to back up to again this home that we moved into. Guess who our neighbors are? The mother and father of Kate, wow.

Scott Brandley:

Wow.

Karen Poulsen:

Wow yeah. And back when they had lost their son again. That was 18 years ago now, when they had lost their son. I remember thinking, if that ever happened to me, I hope I can handle it just like they are, because they were consoling everybody in town. They forgave the young man who was actually driving that car who tried to pass the vehicle when the diesel was coming, when the stay soul was coming, and they forgave him. They held no ill will towards him and I just thought you know, I hope I can be like that.

Karen Poulsen:

Well, my husband called me to let me know that Tanner passed. The first thing that came to my head that night was okay, karen, you have a choice. You can choose to be like them or not. I chose at that moment that I wanted to be like these neighbors, like Kate's parents, and it's just all these things that just Heavenly Father orchestrated these things, knowing I was going to need them. I was going to need them as my neighbors. And when I was talking to Cade's brother and telling him of this incident or whatever that I had with this medium, and that his brother had helped him transition, he says you know, it's funny you say that because, since Cade passed. Their family is always talking about how they hope that on the other side that Cade's mission is to help others pass over.

Alisha Coakley:

That's so random. Oh, my goodness, yeah, wow.

Karen Poulsen:

I know that. I know Heavenly Fathers are aware of us. I, you know, again, I don't normally believe in mediums, but I do believe that this woman lives very I don't know. I think the veil is very thin for her and she's really been a blessing. I do have a couple other stories that are just kind of crazy as well.

Karen Poulsen:

Shortly after Tanner passed, we were getting ready for bed and it was just cold. In my house we have our heater set at 72. This is the middle, middle of winter and Rick's in bed and I'm washing my face and I'm just cold and they go in and kneel down to say my prayers and my teeth are chattering when I'm done. I said to Rick what's her heater set at? He says I haven't touched it. So I went in and I looked at the thermostat and it was 69. And so I told Rick, my husband, he says well, go check the breaker. So I did. The breaker wasn't flipped, everything was funny. And I come back. The thermostat's at 68. Then 67. I'll direct this. He says you need to go downstairs and look at the furnace, see what's going on. So he went down the furnace. Everything was funny. He went back up 65., 64. 65, 64. He got down to 63, which is where Tanner kept his thermostat. And I said to Rick, it's Tanner Letting us know he's here. And as soon as I said that, our burn was kicked on and all these things just sound crazy. But there's no other explanations for him other than Tanner letting us know he's here, that he's with us.

Karen Poulsen:

A few weeks later we finally felt like we could go through all the cards and everything that people had sent us, and so I sent her reading the cards and again I'm just starting to shiver. And so I got up and went over and looked at the thermostat. It was down to 69. It's starting to drop. And I just said, okay, tanner, we know you're here. And the furnace kicked open. Wow, I don't know how to explain these things. It just don't you explain these things. It just Another experience my son before my other son, before I went to Hawaii.

Karen Poulsen:

He'd gone a few weeks before me with his wife and they went to a Buddhist temple over there and apparently when you go inside they have a little table next to their big Buddhist statue where you can put mementos of your lost loved ones. And so him and his wife were in there and they're like, oh, I wish we didn't have a Lego to put here for Tanner. But they didn't, and so they went and they left, and they went out to their rental car and as my daughter-in-law was starting to get in the car, she looked down at the ground and right there on the ground, outside her door, was a Lego. So she picked it up. They went right back inside.

Karen Poulsen:

But she says, thatgo piece was not there when she got out of her car, and I mean, I could go on and on. There's so many of these different things that that have happened, but it's just amazing to know that our loved ones are still here. You know, I think we just have to be open to the ideas that they are trying to communicate with us in those little ways that they are trying to communicate with us and those little ways that they can. My granddaughter she just turned 15, but a few months ago she was really struggling. She was very, very close to 10. And she likes to think that she was his favorite.

Karen Poulsen:

May have been, and she was really struggling and I was at her house and she came into my bedroom and was talking to me and she was just having a hard time wondering why Tanner was giving these messages to everybody else. But she hadn't gotten them and I told her. I says, addie, you just have to have faith that he's there with you all the time. Just have faith that he's there. The next morning she left for school really early and I wasn't up yet, but I got this text message from her with this picture and she says Grandma, I got up this morning and I played a wordle game. It's the game on her phone. You won't believe what the first word was, and she took a screenshot of it. It was faith.

Scott Brandley:

Aww.

Karen Poulsen:

Wow, do you think that was Tanner? I know it was Tanner. You know he is there with you. So I think we have to be open and just know that they are here with us. They're here to help us and Heavenly Father's aware of all of it, and he's there to help us through this. We just have to turn to Him and recognize those things as tender mercies.

Alisha Coakley:

I love that you've had all of these like, like well, they're big. I mean they. They may sound kind of little but they're, they're in your face, big, like evident um experiences and stuff like that that do show you that Tanner is around. And I also love what you said earlier about how, how um, the, the friend's parents, the young man who passed in the accident, how you recognize, in the moment that Tanner passed, that you had an example to look to, like someone that you could, you could um model yourself and your grief after, and what kind of person you wanted to be. Because I think and this you haven't shared this yet, but I I would love for you to kind of share with our listeners Um, you're getting all of these things from from Tanner. You're getting all these experiences, all these little little God nods, you know, um, showing you that our loved ones are still around and you're also keeping Tanner's memory alive. Will you tell us a little bit about the, the organization that you've started in his honor, and just kind of where the idea come from?

Karen Poulsen:

and I'd love to um again. You know, like I said, tanner was very much into Lego. That rubbed off on our whole family Our whole family's into Lego now, and that started before he passed. But again, he was very much into Lego and he used to build Lego with his clients Because it's very good for helping to build neural pathways and so great for these people who do have like autism or tbis and like that. So legos are very beneficial and they can be used in therapy. So tanner would build like go with his clients.

Karen Poulsen:

And when tanner had asked me, when he came to me after he passed and asked me to ask people to bring small, simple sets of those were his words small simple sets of lego to donate to his clients, he he had always had this dream of being able to see a need and fill it, of being able to see a need and fill it. That's what he had always told me. Just someday he wanted to have the means to be able to see a need and fill it and he'd done that quite a bit before he passed. And so when he asked me to have people bring these small symbols that said Legogo, I just thought, you know this is one way we could help canner still fulfill that read of seeing a need and filling it.

Karen Poulsen:

And um, we started a non-profit it's's called the I Love Us Project, which a few years ago, at Valentine's Day, tanner had made a post on Facebook and it had a picture of our family and it said at the bottom of this picture, I may be the loner in the middle, but I sure have some amazing examples of what love is in my life and then it said I love us. So that's where we got the name for this project, the I love us project, and we collect Lego sets and we distribute them to organizations that work with intellectually handicapped people.

Karen Poulsen:

So that's what we're doing in his honor to help keep that dream of his going of being able to see a need and feel it. You may not be able to see or feel all the types of needs that he, that he saw, but this was one that we could, so this was just our effort to fulfill this dream wow that's awesome yeah, I love that so much.

Alisha Coakley:

I, um, I know that, um, that grief is probably like, just in my opinion, from what I've been able to experience in talking with others and hearing stories like yours um, grief is probably the one thing that just really doesn't end. It changes, but it really doesn't end, and we, we either get bitter or we get better from it. And it is so easy to do both and I know that sounds crazy, but it really is so easy to do both. It is so easy to find the beauty when you're looking for it, but it's also really really easy to find all of the ugly stuff too. It's easy to go into the. You know what should have happened and what could have happened and whatever else. But it's also easy to look to the future and say what's what I'm going to do now? You know, what is that next right thing that I'm going to do? What's the next best step? How am I going to continue on in such a way that I don't let this be a meaningless experience? You know, and I just I when I hear families like yours who are coming together after losing loved ones, who are looking for ways that they can see the Lord's hand and be part of the Lord's hands. It just is such a beautiful, beautiful thing and and I really really appreciate everything that you and your family are doing, um, to just kind of be a part of of that work that heavenly father put Tanner on this earth for and, you know, by extension, put you guys on this earth for too.

Alisha Coakley:

I um I know that some people um listening to the show, they might've gotten caught up on the whole medium thing, right, cause there's I mean, we just we don't know there's not a lot of information on it. Um, the thing that we hear in the church is always, like, you know, stay away from them. But I would also like to point out that, um, that it's not like you were going out and you were paying to have this psychic reading done or something like that, and the Lord is really creative and he's going to use people, whether they're doing what's right or not, or whether theirs is a spiritual gift or if it comes from something like. The Lord can still use anybody and put them in our path at any point in time. Look at the photographer friend of yours. He inspired your photographer friend, right, and it would have been so easy for her to say, sure, let's just do it in the spring, no sweat off her back, but instead she really made it a point to get you guys in there earlier, your flight attendant friend, you know taking you at that specific time to that Airbnb and and you know to be able to be in that place.

Alisha Coakley:

So I think that, while we don't necessarily need to go out and we don't need to seek for those people, we can be open to what heavenly father brings in our life.

Alisha Coakley:

And the most important thing and you've mentioned this in just little things is is that we have to do our part to stay close to the Lord, first and foremost, so that we can recognize when those are spiritual experiences, and and so that we can hear him, and, and so that we can hear him, we can hear our loved ones, um, and the more that that we do what you were doing, which is, you know, serving in your callings and saying your prayers at night and and you know, just really taking all of that pain and bringing it to the Lord and letting him be your source of of truth and light to the Lord, and letting him be your source of of truth and light. It's okay. It's okay If the things that come into our life to show us where the Lord's at, if they don't look traditional, right it because it can all be used to our good. So, um, I don't know, sorry, I, I, I don't know where I'm going with all that, but I just Sorry, I don't know where.

Scott Brandley:

I'm going with all that, but I just I really that was really good, Alisha. Yeah, I think tender mercies, the way God shows us tender mercies is just almost like shocking every time it happens, Because you're like like having his name on the rock behind you, I know. What are the odds of that? I mean, there's it's just crazy.

Karen Poulsen:

If it hadn't happened to me, I don't know if I'd believe it, you're right.

Karen Poulsen:

We had to take pictures of all of this because it was just so in your face, Hi, Mom. I do have one other little experience I'd love to share, just to top this all off. Like I said, Tanner had told me he was on the spiritual journey your granny said it straight and he had work to do. So after he had passed, we had a Relief Society Temple trip and we went and I was so hoping to feel Tanner there and I didn't. I did not feel him there. It was heartbreaking. And a couple months later I went again and again I didn't feel him there and I said why? Why am I not feeling him here? Because I knew he said he was working on it, and then we had set the appointment to have Tanner's work done for him, and this was in July.

Karen Poulsen:

And so our family all went to the temple together and did Tanner's work. And when me and my one daughter and my daughter-in-law were sitting there in the chapel waiting for my husband and my son and my son-in-law to come in we're just sitting there and I heard two words I'm here. And at dawn he couldn't be there before, he couldn't be at the temple before, but he was here now because we were doing his work for him and he was there out because we were doing his work for him and he was there. And then, as the session started, as we're walking into the room, my husband, my son and my son-in-law come in. My son-in-law goes in first, Then my husband goes in and he leaves a blank chair between him and my son-in-law, and then my son comes in and sits next to my husband and I looked over there and my first thought was well, why isn't he sitting with my son-in-law? And then the whole time I kept looking over there and I could just imagine Tanner sitting there. Just imagine Tanner sitting there.

Karen Poulsen:

And so, when the session was over, me and my daughter, we were waiting for my husband to come through, who was Tanner's proxy. And there's kind of this thing about Tanner he's the one that he's so polite. It's like I was telling you he'd be the one saying you go first. You go first Because that's just Tanner. And so we're waiting for my husband to come through, and my daughter turned to me. She says is it weird that I'm expecting Tanner to come through? I says no, because I'm expecting the same thing. And she says I bet you he'll be the last one. Sure enough, my husband came through. He was the very last person to come through. No, we didn't see Tanner come through. We saw my husband. But it was just like disconfirmation, those little things, knowing that if that had been physically Tanner, he would have been the one saying you go first, you go first yeah, you go first, he's the last one to come through.

Karen Poulsen:

We know he was there. He accepted everything Awesome.

Alisha Coakley:

Oh, karen, that was, that was a lot. There was a lot of beautiful, yeah, just really touching. Very touching. Yeah, thank you so much for coming on here today and for sharing Tanner and and your story and your miracles and stuff like that, and we really really appreciate it. Before we um sign off, is there anything else that you'd like to to leave with our listeners?

Karen Poulsen:

just be open, to be open and be looking for those beautiful, tender mercies in your life and know where they came from. They're not coincidences, heavenly Fathers. In the details of our life, in every little detail, as far back as 18 years ago, putting that thought in my head that I ever get faced with this is 18 years ago, putting that thought in my head that if I ever get faced with this, I want to be like them Again. Even that far back, heavenly Father was watching me and preparing me for what I would face in the South.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, wow. One thing I love about your story is just you're very grateful for everything that God's given you, and all these tender mercies, I mean you wouldn't be able to truly appreciate them without the faith that you have and the knowledge of the gospel.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, absolutely, just talking a few minutes ago about how you had expected to to see Tanner and feel Tanner in these different places, and then he wasn't there and you're like why aren't you showing up in the same thing with your granddaughter? You know like, why isn't he giving me things too? So I think sometimes we we yearn so much for those, those, those things to be shown to us at a certain time, in a certain place and in a certain way, that when it doesn't happen and when those expectations aren't met, it's really really easy for us to to lose our faith and say, well then, obviously, obviously, you know they can, they're not still here, or heavenly father doesn't see me, or he doesn't know me. But one of the things that that I went through was kind of similar to your granddaughter, where I had all these people that were talking to me about my brother and and about these things that had happened to them, and I mean people that like maybe weren't even as close to him, would have these experiences, and I was very jealous. What hello, like I was your favorite sister. We all know that, right, right, you know, like, why is it that you're not showing up to me and doing all of these things?

Alisha Coakley:

And um, and there was one point when, um, when I was in the temple and I just kind of had this like, uh, I was irritated, like I was just feeling really irritated because I was just expecting something and I hadn't, and I was still really angry in the grief and um, and I just had this like I don't even know how to explain it. It was almost as if I had this picture in my head of my brother plopping down in the chair next to me, nudging me with his elbow and being like I'm so busy, stop whining. You know, it was like this. It was totally him and it was just like I have things I'm doing too. I can't just come and baby you, you know like, suck it up cupcake, go do what you have to do. And that was just like our relationship. You know, it was very much like we just get stuff done and and I'm doing stuff and you need to go do stuff too. I can't, I can't sit here and play with you right now. Like, just let me think. And, and I thought about that and I thought, you know, sometimes, heavenly father, lets them come through to us because we need it, and sometimes he knows that we're okay without it. So it's okay.

Alisha Coakley:

If you're, if you're someone who isn't getting those signs and stuff, it's probably because heavenly father and your loved one, they know that you really don't need them. You want them but you really really don't need them, you know. And so their energy and their time is going to be spent in a way that is going to be for the good of all and for the building of the kingdom and for building of testimony. But there's still work that you can do too.

Alisha Coakley:

Even even in your heartbreak, you can find good, you can be good, you can produce the good, and so I think that's, um, it's when we do that that all of a sudden, we get so busy that we forget to look like for the nitty gritty things, but we see better. It's. It's like we, we change our perspective. You know, we're not just like lasered on one thing, where we're able to actually go back and like see a bigger scope of all of the beautiful things that Heavenly Father has for us. So, um, I really appreciate that, that, that you're doing that, and I hope that you continue to see so many beautiful things you know in your future and and with your family and stuff of Tanner's presence with you guys. You know in your future and with your family and stuff of Tanner's presence with you guys, absolutely.

Karen Poulsen:

You look for it. I mean, again those big in-your-face things have slowed way down, like you said. I think it's because he knows that we're okay now.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah.

Karen Poulsen:

And we're going to be okay, so, and that's okay. Okay, we know he's busy now and we wouldn't want it any other way yeah, and it's not the end.

Alisha Coakley:

No, right, like we're promised through the atonement and the resurrection of Jesus Christ, that we, we, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ that we, we will see them again. We're going to be together. You know, families really are forever and and the gospel is real and and Christ made it possible, so that's uh, I just wish everybody could know that yeah, yeah, well, karen, you got me makeup off, oh man what you, what you said is true.

Scott Brandley:

You know. Know, like I wish that too. I wish everyone could know the blessings of the knowledge of the gospel, because it makes such a huge difference. I mean, my dad passed away unexpectedly a couple of years ago and I guess I didn't need the God knew I didn't need that reassurance because of our relationship and I was okay with that. But if I, if, if I needed it, he, he would have given it to me. You know, and we each need different things at different points in our lives. I mean, I don't know how I would take it if it was one of my kids versus my dad, right and so, but yeah, I like man sometimes, I just like inside, you know, I just wish so, so much that people could understand the blessings of the gospel, because it does make a huge difference, especially when something traumatic happens like this. And thank you so much for sharing your story and I think it will touch people's hearts.

Karen Poulsen:

I appreciate you guys letting me share Absolutely. He was an incredible young man.

Alisha Coakley:

He definitely seems. So yeah, I, I, I, um, just you can see in the pictures of him and and especially on the website that you guys have set up in his honor and everything like that, he just exudes happiness and fun and love, and I love just the funkle of the family the grandkids absolutely adored him and he was a favorite sibling.

Karen Poulsen:

He lived with each of his his brother and his sisters at some point in his life he has lived with them. He was roommates with his older sister for like six years, I think. Oh wow, lived with his other sister while his house was being built. He lived with his brother and his wife when he was in school, in college, for a while.

Alisha Coakley:

So I mean, you know, and then he got christmas with you guys at the, the last one, so spent a little time with everybody you did. Yeah, that's amazing. Well, karen, if listeners, um, if they would like to donate a set of legos in tanner's honor, can you? We'll share the link too, but can you let them know where they can do that or how they can do that?

Karen Poulsen:

you can go to iloveusprojectcom, okay, and there is a support button and or a shop button. We also sell, like lego jewelry. Oh, okay, nice, yeah, I wear mine all the time. I hope you can see that Lego brick that's awesome. And all proceeds go towards Lego for these individuals.

Alisha Coakley:

Oh, that's amazing. Do you have space for other people who might be working with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities to reach out and get a part?

Karen Poulsen:

of this On the on the website. Yes, they can contact us through there and we've arranged to get a shipment out to them, okay amazing, yeah, well, yeah, listeners, definitely.

Alisha Coakley:

Um, take a minute and and go visit that website, see how you guys can support this cause and um and support the family and Tanner's honor. I I just think it's such a beautiful thing and it's a little thing, you know, but it makes such a such a world of of difference for for people, um to feel seen and to feel loved and and to be able to do things that can help them to better themselves.

Alisha Coakley:

So, um, we'll definitely share the link for for that in the description here and we, you know, are so appreciative for you, karen, for coming on here today. We appreciate our listeners too for tuning in. Um guys, if you could just do us a huge favor and share Karen's story, that would be incredible. We got our five second missionary work. It only takes a second to do something great and get the story out there and and leave Karen a comment. Let her know what your favorite part of the of you know her journey so far has been that you've been able to hear.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, if you have a story like Karen's that you'd like to share, or another story about faith, go to latterdaylightscom and let's have you on the show.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, absolutely All right guys. Well, karen, thank you again for coming on today. We really appreciate it. And thank you to everyone for tuning in to another episode of Latter-day Lights.

Scott Brandley:

Talk to you again next week. Take care.

Alisha Coakley:

Bye, bye guys.

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Scott Brandley

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Alisha Coakley

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