From Despair & Addiction to Faith, Hope & Empowerment: Jenna Frandsen's Story - Latter-Day Lights

What if your darkest trials could ultimately become your brightest testimony?

In this powerful episode of Latter-Day Lights, we hear the incredible story of Jenna Frandsen—a woman who transformed her life from the depths of addiction, grief, and trauma to becoming a light for others. From losing her husband and battling substance abuse to discovering her divine purpose, Jenna's journey is a testament to the healing power of Christ and the strength found in remembering who we truly are.

Jenna shares the raw, emotional details of her struggles and the pivotal moments that helped her turn her life around. Through divine guidance and holistic healing, she rediscovered her sacred feminine strength and embraced her calling to help women reconnect with their divinity. Her story is filled with inspiring moments that will touch your heart and remind you of the importance of trusting God, even in the darkest times.

This episode will leave you reflecting on your own divine potential and purpose. Jenna's testimony of resilience, hope, and Christ's love is a beacon for anyone seeking to overcome life's challenges. Don't miss this incredible story—watch now, and be sure to share it with someone who needs to hear it!

*** Please SHARE Jenna's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***

To WATCH this episode on YouTube, visit: https://youtu.be/DTXWykBRKHs

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To READ Jenna's book "The Meaning in the Mire", visit (direct link): https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Mire-Jenna-Frandsen/dp/B0CN7GPDCD

To LEARN more about Jenna's retreats and work, visit: https://www.thehealerinyouutah.com/

To VISIT Jenna's Instagram page, go to: https://www.instagram.com/thehealerinyou/

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Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.

Chapters

• 0:00 From Grief to Inspiration
• 17:42 Descent Into Addiction and Despair
• 27:42 Breaking Point
• 32:48 A Journey From Darkness to Redemption
• 46:43 Facing Loss and Trauma
• 1:01:14 Unexpected Reunion Leads to Marriage
• 1:14:05 Healing Through Reiki and Holistic Health
• 1:30:58 Remembering Divine Femininity for Healing
• 1:37:55 Embracing the Soul's Journey
• 1:45:39 Unleashing Divine Potential Through Unique Paths

Transcript

Scott Brandley: 0:00

Hi everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.

Alisha Coakley: 0:02

And I'm Alisha Coakley. Every member of the church has a story to share, one that can instill faith, invite growth and inspire others.

Scott Brandley: 0:10

On today's episode we're going to hear how one woman went from grieving the loss of her husband and a drug addiction to helping women everywhere remember who they are. Welcome to Latter-day Lights. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Latter-day Lights. We're so glad you're here with us today and we're really excited to introduce our special guest, jenna Frandsen. Jenna, welcome to the show.

Jenna Frandsen: 0:42

Thank you.

Alisha Coakley: 0:43

We're very excited to have you, jenna. I think that this was like we've already been on for an hour with you.

Jenna Frandsen: 0:49

We haven't started recording, yet Thankfully.

Alisha Coakley: 0:57

We had lots of conversation and fun with technology and all the things, so I feel like we're besties already. It's great. Well, miss Jenna, welcome officially to the show. I know you've, uh, you've you mentioned you first heard us through vinnie tolman's episode and you have, uh, we're not going to give too much away, but you have had some semi-similar experiences to him, only like the opposite end of the spectrum. We'll get into that later. Um, but before we get into your story, why don't you go ahead and share with your listeners like a little bit about yourself?

Jenna Frandsen: 1:34

Okay, um, I am a mother of four, a homeschool mother, um, I've got four kids under 10. I live in utah. Wow, I wear many hats. I'm I'm a homeschool mom, but I, um, I am a reiki master, a holistic health coach, um, and I do spiritual work and to exercise the right part of my brain, I'm also a tattoo artist. Oh, my goodness, are you really I am I? After years of having kids, I sort of was like no, what, what do I like to do? What kind of? And I I've always been into art. I've always loved art and sculpting and things like that, and photography, and and so one thing led to another and I never thought I would I have tattoos, but I I never thought I'd be the one giving them, but it's been a lot of fun nice well, nobody's had an introduction like that before on the show.

Alisha Coakley: 2:37

I know it's the price okay, my husband always teases me. He's like you get tattooed all the time because I get my brows, my eyebrows and I'm like it doesn't last. It's like in six months it starts fading away and then it's not permanent, honey. He's like no, you tattoo your face all the time. I'm like yes it's a little different it's a little less painful, I would imagine too. I don't know, I'm a wimp, so so I don't know.

Jenna Frandsen: 3:07

Either love it or you hate. Even if you hate it, you always come back for more.

Alisha Coakley: 3:09

So it's like having children, right. You kind of forget how bad the pain is.

Jenna Frandsen: 3:17

Definitely. There's definitely a reason for that, for sure, yeah.

Alisha Coakley: 3:24

Well, we're super intrigued. I mean, you're already just such a unique personality One minute intro so we'd love to hear more about your story. Why don't you go ahead and tell us where, where it begins?

Jenna Frandsen: 3:39

Okay, um, well, I always I I start by saying I grew up in the regular, you know, lds household and held regular prayer and and family night and was at church every Sunday and I have parents who are still together and and I just have one sister, one sibling, and so we were a very small, tight knit family and I'm very close with you know all of my cousins and extended family and, you know, nothing really ever went wrong in our life growing up and for some reason, adolescence hit and I'm crazy, I don't know. Adolescence hit and I crazy, I don't know Um, and I think there was something, there was something. It's my personality and my personality, I think, was very difficult to um, to navigate for my parents and um, and the communication that I needed and and now I know, as an adult and with children of my own who also have some spiritual gifts, I think there was some of that there, and so I had some some communication barriers and some needs that that were a little difficult, and so I was like the the boy. I was not like the boy crazy, I was like the one boy I want to find, I want to marry as soon as I can graduate, start having all the babies and live happily ever after. I could not wait, like that was what I wanted from the time I was probably six years old and knew that I could do that and um, and so I started, you know, dating in high school and and started dating my first real, you know, serious boyfriend and dated him for four years and um, all I wanted to do was get married. That's all I wanted. I wanted it so bad. I wanted it for Christmas, I wanted it for Valentine's day, I wanted it for for all the things you know and just that ring and to start having babies.

Jenna Frandsen: 5:49

And um, and he wasn't quite there with me. We were all very close. I was close with his family and he was close with my family and and I still I haven't I haven't really talked to him in in several years, but I still consider him one of my closest friends, um, but but I, I had, I had some experiences in that relationship that were really hard. Um, I felt kind of an emotional um turmoil in that I wouldn't even I wouldn't say abuse. He's not that type of person. But again, there was some communication that I needed that I wasn't getting and I remember, you know, leaving his house several times and just between there was a grocery store between his house and my house that I would just pull in the parking lot and just sob because I just my little heart just felt broken and not wanted and not important.

Jenna Frandsen: 6:51

And and I think I just felt that so many times, um and again, not because I wasn't loved in my life by my friends and my family, but there was something there that was missing and a part of a relationship that was missing, um, which I which I now know, I think what that was and um and so, uh, at the end of about four years, I, I was getting to the point where I was getting self-destructive. I started feeling like maybe I'm not important, maybe there is something wrong with me that I'm not lovable, that I'm stupid, that I, you know, there's something not marriable about me or just something. I felt really. I felt really bad about myself and felt really down. And, um, I wasn't ever a partier. I mean, I would go and drag main or whatever in high school, but and the occasional party at somebody's house, but I wasn't a party. I wasn't a drinker, I wasn't a smoker or anything like that, but I, I wasn't a party. I wasn't a drinker, I wasn't a smoker or anything like that, but I remember being almost drawn to those things because I think it was a way for me to cope or to kind of not have to deal with who I am and the part of me. That wasn't acceptable for some reason.

Jenna Frandsen: 8:25

Um, and so I I, I think I was about a senior in high school and I had a best friend she's still one of my best friends, um. I was always at her house. It was like one of those like that was my second home, um, and she had an older brother who was six years older than me and he was like the creepy older brother, like why do you still live at home? Like why is your brother staring at me, you know? And and I was just really bugged, this like weird brother that she had, um, and but then I started liking the attention, because it was finally some attention that made me feel good, and so we would hang out every once in a while and kind of flirt here and there. But I was still dating a sort of uh on the way out from this other relationship, and I and I told my, my boyfriend, you know, I'm ready, I'm like you know, I'm like a day after graduation, I'm like I'm ready to get married, and if you're not, I'm moving on.

Jenna Frandsen: 9:33

This is what I need. And so we broke up and that summer, um, I went with my best friend and we and we worked together during that summer and so her brother was kind of there hanging around and we flirted more and and really kind of get got a little bit closer. Um, but I also knew in the back of my mind that he came from a background that was that was pretty harsh. He, um, he was older but he, he had a very mature lifestyle. He ran around with a very rough and dangerous crowd, um, and I knew that he had a history of and um, and so I, I think I, I think I I used that to my advantage. I knew that he liked me, but I knew that he could be my way to self-destruct and um, and so I per I started pursuing him more and I asked him he had actually been clean when, when we started hanging out and um, but I asked him for drugs. You know we started drinking and things and and he was sort of like I'm not so sure about this. You know I'm, I'm clean, I'm. I don't really want to get into that again. You know I've been to jail, I've been. I don't really want to go back.

Jenna Frandsen: 11:14

But I knew and he'll forgive me, but I knew that I had him wrapped around my little finger and I didn't care anymore. I didn't. I really was stepping into a covering up of my, of my own humanity, like I was turning off my own humanity. I really felt like I was, I was turning apart, turning off a part of myself that that I had always loved and always cherished. But it wasn't working and it was getting hurt over and over again, and so I decided to just stifle it and turn it off. I didn't want to hurt it anymore, so I sort of threw my hands up, screw it, I'm going to just sort of self-destruct and, um, and what I thought was have fun doing it, um, until until it wasn't. And so we, we would kind of, you know, we'd watch movies and and drink, and play cards and drink, and, and then I start asking him for, for drugs and, and he, like I said, he was very reluctant.

Jenna Frandsen: 12:24

Well, during that summer that we were, uh, we were working, and, um, I started abusing uh prescription, uh, anti-anxiety medication and I was drinking. That combination doesn't work, um, and so one of the nights, uh, we left, it was a firework stand. So we closed it down that night and went home and I went home with he you know they all lived in the same house so I went home with them and and I don't remember a lot, I remember, you know, bits and pieces and I remember just sort of passing out and um, and I woke up at one point I could hear the background mute or the TV in the background and um, I was on my stomach and I knew that he was, he was raping me and in my, in my mind, I thought this isn't right. You know this is Something's wrong here, that I know this isn't right, but I wasn't, I wasn't fully there, I wasn't fully conscious and thinking, you know, in my right mind, um, and so I just said what are you doing? And he immediately stopped and said nothing and um, and I, I fell back asleep or passed back out, and that's all I remember.

Jenna Frandsen: 14:01

I remember the next morning I was now fully myself and I thought, oh, this is not good, this is I'm, I was, I thought I'd been hurt before.

Jenna Frandsen: 14:12

That was a whole, and I apologize if I get emotional because after 25 years it's still very, uh, sensitive Um, but there was a part of me that was lost that day, an innocence that I lost, and I cannot. Nobody can describe what that feels like unless you've gone through it. And but at the same time I had learned in young women's that if you dress a certain way, then you'll make somebody else think something or do something. And I knew how I was dressed, I knew I was flirting and I actually asked him why did you do that? And he said, well, look at how you were dressed. And we were flirting with me. And so I thought, oh well, yeah, I have always been taught. Then that was it was my fault. But then you're. Then you're told, oh, it's never your fault, it's never your fault, you're the victim, it's never your fault. I didn't really know what to believe and so I didn't really say anything because I didn't know how people, my parents, or anybody else would react.

Jenna Frandsen: 15:26

You know, and because on one, on one end, the the child in me knew that that was wrong, and I was, I needed help and I needed comfort and I needed a safety. But the other part of me was like, yeah, but you're going to be told that that probably wasn't the best thing that you should have been doing. You know, you were doing all these destructive things and you were, you know, dressed like this or said this I don't even you know, and I and I abused drugs and I drank, and I was I was barely 20 years old, and you know and so I really struggled with that at first and, um, I remember bits and pieces of the next few days where I, I cried a lot and prayed a lot and and felt so guilty and so bad and so broken and so confused, like I already felt confused. Um, you know, you're already in an awkward stage of life where you're just confused. And then there's circumstances and, um, and I think I know now that I've been such a um, I've been so sensitive to the spirit and so sensitive to energy and to spirits that, um, if you know what that feels like, know, there's a lot of dialogue all the time in your head. Um, so that was a really, that was really tough. I did end up, um, getting some counseling help, but after that, um, I, I went down hard, like I think I just like I wanted to cope before, but now I really I really want to cover it up.

Jenna Frandsen: 17:31

And so, um, so I, the prescription drugs went out the window and I started, you know, asking him to get me the hard drugs. And I, I didn't, I didn't want to think about it anymore, I wanted to pretend it didn't happen. I didn't, I wanted to pretend like I didn't. Really, you know, I wasn't the, the, the young girl who liked the boy. You know, I was like that's stupid, that's for babies. Like I'm a hard girl now, you know, because I've been broken. I've been broken in now and now I can't go back, so let's just go all in and um and so.

Jenna Frandsen: 18:13

So we did every paycheck, every paycheck, every minute of the free day was used, uh, in using drugs and abusing drugs and alcohol. And um, I did have a job at the time, um, and then it got to the point where, you know, I, I physically, was changing, my appearance was changing, I didn't look well. Um, my family knew, you know who I was with, where I was staying. They kind of knew what was going on. And so you know my parents, I mean, they tried everything. Let's go to a meeting, let's, you know, invite him over here, let's get to know him.

Jenna Frandsen: 19:02

All the things that you, you know, that you've been felt like to do as a, as a good parent, and um, and it just I got addicted really fast. I have an addictive personality, I think, cause I I live kind of fast, but um, but I think the guilt that I had and the shame and not really feeling like I could ever be myself, or if I even knew what that was anymore, I couldn't go back there and so I just wanted to go down farther and farther and harder and harder. So I just wanted to go down farther and farther and harder and harder, and so he would go to work and come home and I would just be sitting there waiting. I would probably already be drunk and we'd get in the car and travel a ways and to get more drugs and then travel back and sometimes I couldn't even wait until we got home to use them and and then get home and use till I blacked out and the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day and I remember.

Jenna Frandsen: 20:27

I don't have any pictures or anything from back then, but I remember when I would go home my dad would say when was the last time you even took a shower? Like I'm going to get you in the shower myself. You stink, you, look like you have ratty hair. Like you look like they say like you look like you have ratty hair. Like you look like they say like you look like pig pen.

Jenna Frandsen: 20:46

You know from Charlie Brown and he'd say my dad would call me the bag lady, I'm, I mean, you know I don't want to, but that's what he would say you look like, you know, you look like you're homeless, you look like, and, but I'm like, oh, I don't care, like what, what do I have to do to get dressed up for? You know, I don't, I don't care, like what, what do I have to do to get dressed up for it? You know, I don't, I don't have anything anybody to impress. You know, and I, I actually I don't remember thinking anything was wrong with me. I mean, I knew, I knew that what I was doing wasn't right. Um, but I, but I, I don't even remember thinking anything was wrong with my appearance.

Jenna Frandsen: 21:26

Um, but I'm't even remember thinking anything was wrong with my appearance, but I'm sure there was, but nobody around me seemed to. I mean, the one person around me didn't seem to care. And then, a little bit later, even the person that I was using drugs with even my really my dealer, you know was starting to get concerned by the amount of use I had. And I think, just like I knew he was wrapped around my finger at first, I became wrapped around his finger. He was the hand that fed me and he used that to his advantage and he, you know he would withhold.

Jenna Frandsen: 22:19

And so I did things that I never thought that I would to get my next fix. That is, I mean, it's shameful for a human being, let alone a spirit of God. But it was like getting your next fix is like needing your next breath of oxygen. It's that serious. You do feel like you will die if you don't take that breath. You'll suffocate. That is what I felt. Like that I would do anything to breathe. I would do anything to breathe to get that next breath.

Jenna Frandsen: 23:02

I would do anything to get that next fix, even if I hated every minute of it, even if I knew because I could still feel my spirit every once in a while I would get that glimpse of. Oh my gosh, you are still in there and I hate that I am doing this to you. I hate that you're going through this, I hate that you're seeing this, but I'm sorry. You know, um, and so you know. Now, too, as a mother with children, I did. I went places that you know. As soon as we drove up to the house and into the yard, I lifted up my shirt to to be padded down by complete 40 year old strangers that I did not know. And now, as a mother, I'm up my shirt to to be patted down by complete 40 year old strangers that I did not know. And now, as a mother, I'm like oh my gosh.

Jenna Frandsen: 23:52

Um but you know there's there's many times that using in the car while driving um, there's so many times that I thought, oh, that could have ended so differently, that could have ended so badly that could have been the end so easily, day after day.

Scott Brandley: 24:13

What about going to these, some of these places where you ever afraid for your life?

Jenna Frandsen: 24:20

I, I was, but not. It didn't outweigh the need for it.

Jenna Frandsen: 24:26

So I was like, well, whatever happens is going to happen. I hope it doesn't, but I have no other choice. I really didn't know what else to do because I wasn't taking care of myself. At that point I was barely out of my teens, you know. I had, I had jobs, but beyond that I was like, if I don't, I don't know how to keep myself alive.

Jenna Frandsen: 24:49

So and I did trust I know it sounds funny, but I did trust the man that I was with, my then my boyfriend. I guess I did trust him to keep me safe because I I know that he did care for me and I know how that sounds, because you wouldn't do this to somebody that you care about. I understand that. So I knew that he would protect me. I knew that we would end up home. But you never know, you never know in the neighborhoods that we went to, in the homes that I went in, and there were times that I prayed please, let me get home alive tonight, please. And I didn't know. I did feel nervous A lot of the times. I felt nervous and I had a job at the time um, actually working, I know, in an elementary school, which was something I wanted to do. So my, my one sister is younger than me, so all growing up we would play school and I was always the teacher and I would read to her and I would teach her things and be the you know, play school. And so I always wanted to be a teacher and, um, so I loved, I loved this job. I was, I was a reading aid. I loved it. I loved the kids, I loved the school supplies and I loved the. You know, I loved recess and I loved the other teachers that I worked with. I love everything about that. I loved everything about elementary school growing up, so I loved being there.

Jenna Frandsen: 26:34

But my, my heavy drug use was was so bad at that time that our because I was just a reading aid, we aid, we would sit at the tables for 20 minutes at a time and I couldn't make it 20 minutes and without getting another fix and so I would tell the kids, oh, hold on just a second, I gotta run to the bathroom, I gotta go get a drink. And it was, it was horrible, it was, it was ridiculous. Um, and again I was like I know this is wrong, I know this is not normal behavior, I know this is not normal behavior working with children or a teacher, um, but it'll be okay. Like you know, they don't know. They'll understand that they want a break. Who cares? So I would just run to the bathroom and and I would get a fix and I would come right back in and, um, as you can guess, that didn't last long before before the teachers started being being concerned about uh, why is this girl leaving so many times during a 25 minute?

Jenna Frandsen: 27:42

You know class, and there were times that I would come back to the table, I think, and was probably not um, acting normal or really cognitive, you know, and so, um, so I was fired from that job, but the principal of that school, um, he, he was actually the vice principal when I was in high school and I loved him then and I love him now, um, but he said to me very respectively, he said I care about you, I'm going to have to let you go from this job, but if you go and clean yourself up, then come back, and I really really respect him for that nice and so after that I didn't obviously go get another job.

Jenna Frandsen: 28:35

Um, so my, my boyfriend would, just he would go and work and he would come home and we'd go spend the paycheck and then, but I was looking for a job. I remember I'd go to, I went to Kelly services.

Jenna Frandsen: 28:46

Uh, it's a job service place here back then and um and I would be doing like the typing tests and I would be experiencing, you know, like I couldn't even function. I couldn't even. I couldn't function that I had to. I would would have to walk out um halfway through my, my tests and my interviews and stuff. And so at that point I knew that when my, my boyfriend, my, my buddy, my dealer told me to get a clue that I have a problem, I knew it was bad.

Alisha Coakley: 29:24

Yeah.

Jenna Frandsen: 29:25

Um, because I was not functioning. I had gotten kicked out of the house by then and I I was not functioning at all. Um, I had, um, I don't know if this, I don't know if I can say this, but I had, I was, I was um, I was snorting drugs and I had.

Jenna Frandsen: 29:45

I had ruined all of my sinuses, I, so I couldn't anymore, and so I started using intravenously, until then I blew out my veins, um, geez. And so, because he started, not turning on me, but because he started, like my one, my one person, um, I remember, I remember one night I couldn't stand not having the drug. I couldn't, I, it was almost like, even though I was using it, it still enough, um, and so I started panicking because I could no longer feel satisfied. I, I was starting to panic and, um, something happened, and I remember I did something, um, very self-destructive, and my best friend came and picked me up and took me to my previous boyfriend's house and bless his heart, because you know he didn't have to do this he took me out of the car, he carried me into his house, he put me in his bathtub and bathed me and washed my hair and got me in some clothes and and I, I I'll never forget that that still, that experience is so dear to my heart and very sacred to my heart that he, that he did that because, and that that part that I mentioned earlier that something was missing, there was something, there was a counterpart missing in my life, that masculine part that was missing and something like that, that service that he did for me, that he wasn't getting anything in return. I wasn't even his girlfriend, he had no responsibility to me, except for we were both humans and it was a human response that he had to care for me. That has carried me through to now and why I do what I do now. Um, so I, I was done, I was done and I I asked if we could go get enough of this drug to just obliterate life.

Jenna Frandsen: 32:12

And um, I had been in jail at this at this point, in and out, for something kind of stupid. Something kind of stupid and um, and, and it was. It was during the holidays, and usually during the holidays I told you how close I was to my family, that we usually have this every year. We have the same Christmas party that I look forward to ever since I was a child and I was in jail that weekend and that felt so low and I think because while I was in jail, I was calling everyone I knew to come bail me out.

Jenna Frandsen: 32:48

Like, listen to me, this actually isn't what you think it is. It's not drug related, it's not. You know, it was actually something stupid with my car, and um, and I, I, um, the person who wrecked my car was going to go to jail for a very long time, so I took the rap for it and um, so now I got a record and it was so dumb, um so, but everybody who picked up the phone said I'm sorry, I can't help you. My aunt, my uncle, my cousin, my own father. Nobody would either answer the phone or, um, they said I'm sorry, I want to help you so bad, but my mom won't let me.

Jenna Frandsen: 33:30

You know, and no one would listen to me because nobody trusts you at that point at all. And so I'm like no, just trust me, this isn't what you think. It is Like, just come and get me. You know, and, and um, I, so I was only in, I was in like holding, you know, like the drunk tank or something. I hadn't been drinking, I hadn't been drugging nothing, and but no one, no one's going to believe you.

Alisha Coakley: 33:50

That's a horrible feeling.

Jenna Frandsen: 33:52

That's a horrible feeling. Um, and my dad finally showed up and I said trust me. And he was like, don't, like, don't even speak right now, you know, which I understand, and that's a horrible feeling because I'm very close to my dad and um, and that that I knew the truth, but it didn't matter and I could no longer get anybody to listen or to trust. So, anyways, it was that was the beginning of December. By the end of December it was actually New Year's Eve and I I said I'm done, I'm so done. I can't do this anymore. I can't, I can't do this. I'm so far gone from my original self, my child self, my, my family, that I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't even get enough um drug to feel normal which is kind of funny because that's not normal um. So we got enough that night, new Year's, new Year's Eve, to.

Jenna Frandsen: 35:08

My goal was to not wake up the next day and I got a very large amount and used it all. I used it all in one sitting, however I could that my body would allow, and I blacked out light. I saw my body. I felt so whole. I didn't feel pain. I saw a loved one. I felt Christ's love. Mine's a little bit different.

Jenna Frandsen: 35:59

I saw the face of Satan. I saw what he looked like. I heard what he sounded like and at first it was just black, it was just blackness. And I heard a laugh. I heard like this bellowing laugh, this dark, deep laughter, and I was like what is that? And I saw his face and he said you are so stupid, you fell for it. He said you are so stupid, you fell for it, you fell for it. I got you all this way and now you're going to die and I don't care and nobody cares, and I will never forget those words. And almost in an instant I saw my whole life. Like they say, your whole life flashes before your eyes when you're dying. It's absolutely 100% true, because it's happened a few times. But I saw and felt. So when I say I see, I saw with, like my third eye, my spirit.

Jenna Frandsen: 37:04

I saw all the times around the dinner table with my family. I saw holidays with my extended family. I felt and I heard songs. I felt the joy, I felt the comfort of being home. I could smell food that my mom would make. I had all these memories of my little sister, of my childhood friends. That's when I felt the peace. I felt all that peace and that comfort of a child, you know, being in the arms of safety of their mother or father or you know another place, that they feel safe. And I knew, even though I didn't hear it with my ears. I knew that I had a choice and I saw very clearly the difference between light and dark.

Jenna Frandsen: 37:53

And I had never, during all this time, I had never stopped believing in God. I, I, I mean, I continued to go to church until I couldn't function. I never strayed from my belief in the gospel or of Jesus Christ. Um, and that's how powerful the adversary can be and how powerful our choices can sway the trajectory of our life. Um and so in that moment I knew it was so clear that I, it, was such a facade like this life, it was just a trap, and now I'm dying and no one cares, and Satan especially loved it, and I was completely alone. And that's the last thing I remember, and I do. I do remember that while I'm I'm, I was seeing and feeling those things from my childhood and from my life. I knew that all of that was the light of Christ. I felt that warmth, I felt that comfort and that safety in those memories and of my family, of my family. And the next day I went home and my family had like this, uh, like um, what are they called Like an intervention.

Jenna Frandsen: 39:45

Yeah, an intervention. We had an intervention and my dad said look, we money, we want you to go to rehab. And I was like nope, because I had not agreed to it before. I, I didn't want to do any of that. I could do it on my own, obviously, um, but he, he had the key. He is father. He knew what my weakness was and that was that for years I had wanted a little teacup Yorkie dog. So he, he bribed me and but I knew, I knew I needed to go and I, I knew I needed to get out of this. So so I did go, I, on January 4th I believe, or the first week in January, I went to rehab for three months and um and I I was there for three months did well, um, I detoxed there, which was very difficult, um and I, I attempted suicide there, um, because mentally, emotionally, I I still was very broken, um, and didn't want to be there.

Jenna Frandsen: 41:03

And after three months I there are certain rules and I think I broke them all. Um, I got out and I went and got an apartment and lived by myself and even after being clean for three months and knowing that that was a great life and I loved, like furnishing my apartment with my new little dog and being a, you know, responsible adult. I, um, I ended up getting back into drugs, but this time it was an even kind of an even more dangerous drug. And, um, and that was, that was just. I was just at a stoplight and asked somebody next to they asked me for a cigarette and I asked them for drugs, and that was it. Like it's, it's like one of the grocery store, I guess, in certain places, uh, unfortunately. And so I I started again and it didn't take long, though before um, I was still, I was actually in love with, uh, the boyfriend that I used with and he would come to visit me, which obviously my parents were not super excited about, but he actually had gotten clean while I was in there and he still had his same good job and was doing well. And then I broke.

Jenna Frandsen: 42:25

Rule number two was I got engaged and moved in with this man back to my hometown, but we were actually doing well. He was trying to get custody of his son, we were both going to church, we were going to temple prep classes. We both wanted the same things we both wanted to clean up our life, we wanted to be good parents. We wanted to have our own children and we wanted to get married. Um, you know, we were paying bills in our own house and and um, we would still drink, uh, but but we were, we really were doing better, we had goals and we were um, building our relationships back up with our, our families and um.

Jenna Frandsen: 43:14

And then we moved. We moved in a basement apartment of my, my old home, my parents' home, and we were, we were doing great and I had a new job and and we were going to church with my family and um and our relationships were really good. It was hard because when one of us would be doing really good and the other one would be, um would be suffering and his, my, my husband. So I did get married. We ended up getting married. Um, my dad planned both my sister and my wedding in two months of each other. My mom was not doing well, she was not happy. She told me she was not going to come to my wedding, which I completely understand. She did come and it was a beautiful wedding.

Jenna Frandsen: 44:13

And then that's when we moved into my parents, my parents' basement apartment, um, but my husband's brother, uh, had passed away and he was very close to him and that really rattled him. And so when one of us would be him, and that really rattled him, and so when one of us would be strong, the other one would be weak, and and vice versa, so that that was very hard to keep a balance. Um, and but we were doing really well. We were doing really well and we were moving forward, and he would, we would read scriptures every day together and, and we were getting, were getting. We had partial custody of his son and so now I had you know cause I had, we had been trying to get pregnant and I had miscarriage after miscarriage, and so I had this little kindergartner boy and and I just loved being a mommy to him and we were, we were doing really great.

Jenna Frandsen: 45:14

And my husband was a painter, a contract painter, and he, um, he was on a job in Salt Lake, uh, and I talked to him the night before on the phone and, um, I just said so, are you going to bed now? Yeah, you know, he was there with all his guys who I knew. His brother worked with him, as another brother worked with him, and and there was, there was nothing to be worried about, nothing to. We were doing really well. We were doing really well.

Jenna Frandsen: 45:53

And the next morning I got his son on the bus to kindergarten and his family called me and said he didn't show up for work today.

Jenna Frandsen: 45:57

Do you know, have you heard from him?

Jenna Frandsen: 45:59

And I said, no, that's really weird, I don't, I don't know.

Jenna Frandsen: 46:04

You know, we talked last night while his brother showed up for work, all of his, his guys showed up for work and he didn't show up for work.

Jenna Frandsen: 46:12

And that's not like him. He's a very hard worker, um, he's responsible in his job, um, so I thought that was very uncharacteristic of him, um, and so they said, well, I'm getting concerned, which then started me getting concerned. No one would answer his phone. So they came and picked me up and we drove down to Salt Lake, about an hour and a half from my house, our house, and, um, we went to the hotel where they were staying and, um, everybody was very frustratingly uh, ignorant about anything the hotel staff, his employees, like the employees that he worked with, everyone just sort of stood around and was like, uh, yeah, I don't know. And I was. I was getting more and more panicked because now it was the afternoon, still no word. So we started calling the police, the police. It was very frustrating because they said well, you know it has to be 24, 48 hours or whatever for an adult to be missing too, and I I'm freaking out.

Jenna Frandsen: 47:29

And, um, if I just felt so frustrated that no one was doing anything, no one was listening, no one was helping, no one was feeling as frantic as I was, and, um, I'll never forget making the phone call to the hospital and then the morgue. That is something that will forever be ingrained in my mind as something as like probably the most surreal thing I have ever done. Um, but nothing, no hospital, no morgue. They didn't know anything. So we all walked outside to get in our car, cause we just thought we'll just drive around. We'll just drive around and see if he's out walking somewhere. I don't.

Jenna Frandsen: 48:09

We went outside to get in our cars and I looked down the street and I saw this man in the same clothes as they were to work. He was, you know, probably a block and a half to two blocks away block and a half probably and he was walking towards the hotel and he stopped and our eyes met and he stopped in his tracks and turned around and ran the other way and I knew he knew something and I would never find out what he knew. And just then I took a step to get into my car and my mother, my mother-in-law came out on the phone and she was holding the phone out like this and her face. I'll never forget her face because I knew right then something was wrong and I said what, what, what, what, what, what. And she said they found him, they had found his body at the track station and I didn't understand why. I said why was he there? Why was he there? Was he doing? And they said that his things were gone and nobody was there with him and he had died of an overdose. And I didn't understand, because we were doing so well for so long and we had just talked and I knew the goals that we had. I couldn't understand why he would make a decision that he did and I had just talked and I knew the goals that we had and I couldn't understand why he would make a decision that he did. And I knew that the night before when I asked him are you going to bed now? And he said, yes, I love you.

Jenna Frandsen: 49:59

Goodbye was a lie and he went out that night and he died early in the morning and he was left there with who he went with and he was left there with who he went with and I got in my car, and I think you know this is a normal human response now. But I got in my car and I just drove as fast as I can because I thought that I could just like outrun it and then it wouldn't be reality. And the whole hour and a half home that I drove, I know for one thing I know God was watching over my car and all the traffic on the road, because I I remember very little about that drive home. I don't think I had shoes on, I think I was driving probably very fast and my vision was probably clouded with, you know, just tears and. But I remember so many thoughts on my way home from from.

Jenna Frandsen: 51:05

This isn't real, this is there's no way. This is real to oh, maybe they made a mistake. I'm going to turn around and go back because I'm going to just go. This is real to. Oh, maybe they made a mistake. I'm going to turn around and go back because I'm going to just go and see real quick, because I think actually this is probably a mistake too. I can't believe this is actually happening. This is real, this is happening. He's gone and I don't remember really anything after the next couple of days. I couldn't tell you one thing I remember my dad was the one who went to the morgue to identify his body and to this day there will be really often at first, the first few years, I would think I don't think that's right, I don't think that they got that right, I didn't see it and I I think that's actually, I think this is actually didn't happen and, um, that they got the wrong person.

Alisha Coakley: 52:05

Right.

Jenna Frandsen: 52:06

And what was really hard was, for years after I would have the same dream, the same nightmare, that he wouldn't answer his phone. I would call and call. I would ask his mom, ask his dad, where is he? Where is he? And they wouldn't tell me where he is. And finally I just see him standing there and I say where, where have you been? Why? Why won't you answer the phone? Where have you been? And he's very mean, he won't look at me, he doesn't want anything to do with me, and so I kept thinking maybe he is out there and I, you know, I would in traffic, I would see somebody walking and I would think that it was him and I always would just think what if he is out there somewhere? And I just turn and look at the car next to me and he's in there. Like I.

Jenna Frandsen: 52:52

It took years for me to heal that part of trauma that actually was real and um and and to stop having those those same recurring Um. I remember at his funeral I I'm still a little embarrassed about this, but I know everybody understands but I was a complete, a complete wreck. I just I just laid over his casket and and rubbed my hands on him and just cried and cried and cried, um, and after that I couldn't live in that house anymore. As soon as I got home, I opened up my medicine cabinet and I took everything that was in there everything everything that was in there, everything and um.

Jenna Frandsen: 53:53

And I remember after that, a few minutes after that, you know, things looked weird. I started hearing that voice again, that voice of Satan, and I felt so little like. I felt like so stupid that I would make a decision like that, because I know who was in my ear, you know, I knew better than that and I started getting scared that I would actually die in that moment and I regretted it so much because as soon as I heard that voice again, I thought gosh, dang it. I know what's happening here. It's not worth it. He's winning and I'm not ready. I'm not ready to leave that, that light. That is the love of my in my life. So I started writing down I'm so sorry because I knew I was dying. I'm so sorry. I love you. I didn't mean to do this, you know. And and I was so scared that Satan was the one coming to get me, to take me with him. And I was able to walk up 12 stairs to where I knew my dad was upstairs and I looked at him and he looked at my face and said what did you do? I looked at him and he looked at my face and said what did you do. And I just hit the floor and I had a grand mal seizure on the floor. He called nine one one and the ambulance came and got me and took me to the hospital. I had another seizure in the ambulance and another grand mal seizure in the hospital. I was put in the ICU and I remember, all through that ICU stage I I would see, I would see things, I was having hallucinations and and I knew where they were coming from. They were almost taunting me until I got a priesthood blessing. I got a priesthood blessing in the ICU and I was out very shortly after that on the regular floor. My body really suffered from those seizures. It's still I'm full of arthritis and issues in my in my back from those seizures, in my back from those seizures. Um.

Jenna Frandsen: 56:13

But when I got out I was, you know, back home with my parents and and I I moved into a condo because I couldn't be in our home that we lived in together. So I moved into this condo close to my parents' house and I I took money from I mean, we didn't have life insurance or anything like that and I I got all new things because I didn't want to see anything that was tied to him. I wasn't. I wasn't dealing well at all as a young, as a young woman, uh, newly married. Now I think I would. I would do things differently, but because of the decisions that I made after his funeral and his death, his side of the family completely disowned me. So I felt like I lost my husband, I lost a child and I lost that side of the family and I had no family now and that was very, very hard, because that's all I ever wanted and I knew that I had made so many mistakes. Um, and I just survived.

Jenna Frandsen: 57:24

At that point I would wake up in the morning and the first thing I would do, before I even put my contacts or glasses on, I would drink. And um, there was, there was a time in that house that I attempted suicide and I I have experiences with that, that, you know. The Lord told me that it just wasn't that you know. The Lord told me that it just wasn't wasn't my time, and but it was so hard, it was so hard to stay here and I got a job. Um, my dad got me a job at his office and I would go and just sit and solder with my headphones in and just get my work done and um, and I would function as long as I could and then I would go into his office and melt on the floor in tears and I was just, I was like the saddest human, um, in that condition and and I know how hard it was on him to see me like that every day, and I know how hard it was on him to see me like that every day and after a time I had to leave that job after a few months and I moved away.

Jenna Frandsen: 58:42

I moved away and in with my best friend and her husband down in Salt Lake County and that was actually really good for me. I got clean. I really liked got clean. I was. I really liked the ward that I was in. I really wanted to work toward going to the temple and and doing my husband's work and getting sealed to him. I wanted that so badly because we weren't able to make it. So I really started working really hard with my Bishop. I had a really good relationship with him. In fact, when I, when I technically moved out of that ward, I just kept going to that ward because it was everything was just going well and I had. I had a really great job and and having that support down there for somebody who, who understood, because she was there from the beginning, um was really was really helpful and kind of just being being out of the vicinity, um was what I needed at that time and so I had. I was with them.

Jenna Frandsen: 59:48

When I moved out, I moved in with some roommates, which was really strange because usually you, you know, graduate high school, have roommates in college and then get married and I was kind of going backwards.

Jenna Frandsen: 59:58

But it was, it was great.

Jenna Frandsen: 59:59

I made some really great friends and had a really good, some good jobs and and and then something happened and I and I started, uh, abusing a prescription medication again and um. So after a while there and and attempted suicide again and I moved out and I moved back home with my parents and I went to AA. I went to NA. It wasn't good for me, so I went to AA and I found the best, the best group of people, and that is what my first, I think the first group of people that I was with since early childhood where I felt like I could walk in and it was not judged, like I could walk in and it was not judged. I could completely be myself and it was, it was embraced and and you know, since then, uh, my parents and I have talked about, you know, they were in theater and they were like it wasn't until we were in theater that we found our people and then we could be ourselves and we really started thriving in life. The rooms of AA were my people.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:01:09

They still are my people and that's when I started thriving. I just immersed myself into three or four meetings, sometimes more a week. Um, I started chairing meetings which, growing up, I I was so painfully, um, shy or self-conscious, probably more that speaking in front of anyone was like a total nightmare. Now I love it, but but I I hate it. I'm a public speaker now and I love it, but I remember like the phone ringing during the week and I'm like don't answer that because they're going to ask for you speaker and I'm not doing it and you know. And then my dad would be like on the other line, be like, oh, she'd be glad to do it. And I'm like how am I going to run away this week? Like I cannot make it to.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:02:04

Sunday I was just sick. I was like nauseated the whole week, you know, like I just couldn't do it. Um, so chairing, chairing a meeting, was a big deal, but I knew, you know, everybody told me, just immerse yourself in service and you will stay on top of things and your life will change and it will turn around. And so I did. I just I I ended up loving, uh, chairing and I I grew with these groups of people so intimately and so that soul to soul connection, um, that is so important in this life, important in this life. And um, I actually I started school back up and started learning sign language. I wanted to be a sign language interpreter, so I started doing that and that felt really good to have a job, to be involved in meetings and to be um in education, be um in education. And I started feeling like I was getting back to a normal life and and my parents, like our relationship was getting mended and and it was feeling really good. It was still so very hard, very hard day. I really just went day to day, day by day, and I I did end up going to the temple and getting sealed one one year later, or got to mention that and um, and so I was. I was going to the temple regularly. I tried to go every week, um, and while I was in school I started this, this, this old friend started popping back into my head and I didn't.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:04:01

I thought it was kind of weird, like we were friends growing up but I knew he had, you know, gone on a mission, got married and who knows what he's doing now. But it was so persistent and that I I reached out to his brother, that kind of stayed. We were childhood friends and I stayed kind of in contact with him throughout the years and I just text him and I said, hey, like how are you guys doing? How's your family, how's your mom and dad, whatever? And kind of caught up. And I asked how's how's your brother? He goes, oh, uh, he's all right. He got a divorce and it's kind of hard on him. He's just working a lot. And I was like, okay, I feel like I want to talk to him. And he's like, ah, it's probably, probably not a good time. It'll tell him, you know that you're looking for him or whatever. Okay, and it just kept like it was an obsession, almost like what is this guy doing? Oh, he was so cute when we were growing up. I really miss his friendship like huh and um.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:05:01

So about two or three months later I text his brother again and I said, hey, how's he doing, does he? You know, I I really want to contact him or something. And and it was kind of the same answer I'll let him know. You know you're looking for him, whatever. And um, and I really was. Just, I wasn't.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:05:20

I was barely looking for a friendship, let alone marriage again. I was never going to get married again. I was actually looking into um, I was, I was actually, you know, like looking into how to have a baby, like adoption or what, like I still wanted a family, didn't want to get married again. I was still so in love with my husband, I was still so hurt after after years. And this was this was about um four years after he died. Um, and but this, this face, this name was just pinging me every day.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:05:57

And so I text my sister and I said, hey, are you still friends? Like I was like going all the ways I could to contact this one person. I think Facebook was like fairly new, so I was like, you know, on my space or something wasn't online, wasn't on Facebook. So I text my sister you know, on MySpace or something wasn't online, wasn't on Facebook. So I text my sister. I said, do you still have the number to you know his brother? And she goes. She goes, no, but I think you know my friend does.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:06:23

So then I text her friend, my little sister's friend hey, do you still have a number from like one of your childhood friends? And she's like, no, I don't. I said dang it, I'm trying to get ahold of of Kyle. And she goes oh well, I have his number. Oh good, can you give me that? So she gave me his number and I text him one day in school and I said, hey, uh, this is Jenna Jepson, you remember me.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:06:53

And he's like, yeah, what's up, you know? And I still remember like the butterflies I got. And I'm like this is weird. So we kind of chatted on the phone like cause we had known each other. He was 10 and I was 12. We were just childhood friends, my sister and I and his, him and his brother and their parents and all the neighborhood friends. So we just kind of chatted about what have you been up to for the past? You know 15 years and like I'm still, like I feel like I'm old enough and mature enough, like this just seems weird, I don't know. And but I felt I knew what. I felt. I knew that, uh, this was something I needed to pursue for some reason, I don't know.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:07:40

Come to find out that days before that I had texted him. He asked his brother they were just sitting there on the couch watching TV and he looked at him and he goes hey, do you still have a contact for my sister? And he goes yeah, I think so, why. And he goes I don't know, I've just been thinking about Jenna and I wanted to text her. And so he never did. Uh, but that day that I text him, he looked at his brother and he said did you end up reaching out to Jenna's's sister? And he goes no, why? And he goes because jenna just texted me. And he goes I don't know, I never reached out to her and we were both like that was so weird, you know.

Scott Brandley: 1:08:21

And now, we.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:08:22

We joke about it because we're like I know we were. We were divinely brought together for sure.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:08:30

And so we went on a date in September of 2010. And it was just like seeing an old friend that I hadn't seen for so long. And we went on a double date with his brother, who I knew as a child, and we talked and saw each other more and more, and there was something about that relationship that filled that hole of that counterpart that I felt like I had been missing for so long. Um, in my teens, you know, with my first boyfriend, I just felt like, oh, I feel safety here, I feel I feel a love here and something, something divine here that I have never felt before. So that was September of 2010.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:09:19

And, um, in May of 2011, um, the end of May, I I started, I started late in the spring, and so I was like, oh, it's Valentine's day. I started feeling, like I did with my first boyfriend, Like maybe I'll get that ring for Valentine's day, and then didn't, and then. And so now, being, you know, 29 years old, I'm like all right, I'm tired of this game. I never thought I'd get married again. He never thought he'd be married again. It was the end of May and I said I love you. We've known each other for so long. I know your parents, you know my parents. I said are you off work this weekend? It was Labor Day weekend. He goes. No, I said let's go to San Diego, let's just drive there. I said do you want to get married?

Jenna Frandsen: 1:10:11

And he's like he goes. Yeah, I said I love you, he goes, I have always loved you. I said let's do it. So we got in the car and we drove. He got off work at midnight on Thursday night and we drove through the night to San Diego. We found a notary in San Diego. We got a marriage certificate Friday night we were in a hotel room and he goes. Well, I guess I should officially propose. So he kind of proposed.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:10:45

Saturday we were married, married, uh, in san diego, and no one knew about it. It was just us and, um, it just felt like I had a piece of that innocence back from my childhood, having that childhood friend, that safety with me. Um, and when we drove back the next day I think it was, you know we stayed there sunday, because then we're like, well, we're in san diego, this is our honeymoon now. Sunday. And then we drove back monday, um, memorial day. We got to his house, his parents house, early in the morning and his mom runs up to me and she goes let me see your hand, because she thought she assumed that we were going there and we got engaged while we were gone so she looks at my hand.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:11:33

She sees a ring, you know, and um, and I said she goes oh my gosh, I knew you were gonna get engaged and I'm like, well, actually now don't be mad. But we actually got married and she was like you know, she screams. I love my mother-in-law. She's very. She's the enthusiastic part of the family that I that.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:11:57

I love that I'm used to in my family. Um, my mom and dad, my I mean, and they, they know him, they knew him growing up, they love him, they love his family. Um, my dad was so relieved that we eloped and he didn't have to plan another wedding. Um, my mother was a little you know, like mothers would be was a little hurt, but she was so happy. Um, he, he knew all about, you know about what I was doing. I was still very much involved with AA and and addiction recovery and he was my angel that kept me there, because there was times that I didn't want to stay there and I I was going to slip and I stayed because because of him, because I couldn't let him down, because he saved me, I I couldn't, I couldn't go back down. Because he saved me, I I couldn't, I couldn't go back there again and hurt him.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:12:53

Um, so we got our, we got our own house and and immediately we we wanted children. So bad, and you know all, growing up, I saw my mom I'm the oldest, she had me at 27. And I was like, why did you wait so long? What were you doing? I was like 17 and wanted, I wanted a baby. So bad. You know, I was like, what did you do the whole time in your twenties? You know, like, are you crazy? And I had my first child at 30. And 27 is not that old, but but we wanted to have children, so bad and we tried, and we tried, and we tried and tried and and I couldn't get pregnant. And if I did get pregnant, if I did get pregnant, then I miscarried. And so we, um, we went to doctors and and did the medications and then we ended up going to a specialist and did the procedures. We looked into adoption, we looked into surrogacy and it's just, unfortunately, very hard, very hard to go that route. I have great respect for couples who who go that route and are able to do that.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:14:05

Um, but I felt like my body, I was getting farther away from health. I kept thinking, you know, god makes our bodies do more. I mean, they're miraculous. Why can't I do this thing? I know what my patriarchal blessing said. I read a thousand times just making sure I read it right that I was going to be a mother Like, why isn't this working? What am I doing wrong? And we've been throwing money down and I felt like the last time that I was on these medications, I was put in the hospital because it did the wrong thing and it, you know, gave me cysts that ruptured and I was in the emergency room and I just thought I'm not getting any closer to what my body naturally can do and I just I had faith in my body's ability.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:14:56

And that emotional rollercoaster of trying to conceive is extremely difficult and, um, and my mother was having some health, some health problems, so I took her to my dad, told me about this woman that he knew about I mean, I knew when I was a little child that did foot zoning and, um, if you're listening, you know who you are, cause I'm sure you will listen and I took, I went and got foot zone from her for a long time and, um, I wasn't having much luck. But through that, through that outlet of holistic health, I ended up meeting somebody else who was having a retreat, a weekend retreat, in Bear Lake here, and so I took my best friend, who I'd lived with previously, and we went to this weekend retreat and there was a lot of different people there who had, you know, somebody had essential oils and somebody had, you know, massage therapy and lights and whatever, so you could just all weekend just kind of like try those different things. I remember we were at a dinner and everyone was introducing themselves and this lady got up, um, and she said I'm a Reiki master and she looked very like Relief Society presidency and I was like what is that, um, and that just took me by surprise and so I said I want to have a session with you. And so it was like a little 20 minute session, teaser session, you know, and that session completely changed my life. That 20 minutes, um, what I felt in that session, um, you know, I was still. I was still, even though I was married and doing well, I still that rawness of losing my husband was still very, very much there and very raw and not healed or dealt with much. And that was my real.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:17:03

My dad was doing energy work. I didn't know, like he wasn't a Reiki practitioner yet, but he was doing energy work. He was a massage therapist, that's all I knew. I never had a session with him or anything, but that was the first time I felt tangibly, I felt physically energy move in my body. I was on the massage table and she only had her hands on the back of my head underneath my head and just by using her energy and my energy, that energy, that stuck and emotional energy in my body started moving. And it started moving physically that I actually thought I was falling off the massage table.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:17:44

It put me in like this spiral, and I held, I grabbed the sides of the massage table, I said I'm, I think I'm falling off, I'm, I'm tipping over. And she goes no, you're not, you're not going anywhere, you're not even moving. And I said, yes, I am, I'm falling. She goes, no, no, you're not falling. And so she had my friend come over and hold my hips to ground me and, and it's, it felt a little bit better. And it felt a little bit better. But she moved her hands and I started to kind of settle. I could feel that energy from spiraling intensely to settling back down into my body and the emotions that came up from my husband's death came to the surface and that's the energy that was moving. And I got up from that table and I said teach me everything that you know. And so I ended up. She was my first Reiki master and within two months of starting my training I got pregnant with my son. And I know that for me my infertility was not a physical issue, it was an emotional issue and those emotional the, those emotions get stuck in our body and different shockers and different areas and organs that it creates physical problems. And, um, I got pregnant and I kept my baby and I had a healthy baby boy at, you know, the next January and and he's almost 10 now, and, um, so that's when I became a Reiki practitioner, um, and I started seeing I didn't really see clients that I went through level one, level two, level three, and and then a little while later I, I went through my, my master, uh, my level four, my Reiki master um training, and every time I wanted to have a baby, um, I would try and I would try and I would try, and nothing was working. And every time I wanted to have a baby, um, I would try and I would try and I would try, and nothing was working. And and so I went to, uh, another one of my Reiki masters, for her to work on me and immediately I would get pregnant.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:19:57

But in that session, things from my husband's death would come up and I would release that energy and that emotion and I would cry and I would, you know, talk about it, and I could feel physically, tangibly, that energy moving inside me again. And I had many spiritual experiences. I actually was given the gift and I and I haven't ever told the details of this, but I, I was given a spiritual experience of knowing what my husband saw when he died, and that was really special to me, and I was able to get closure, knowing that he didn't die alone, that our savior was with him. And so fast forward and I got more into holistic health and I've had my business, called the healer in you, for over 10 years, almost 11 years, and I have worked with women's health and hormones, for obvious reasons, um, and I became a.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:21:04

So I took my mother to this foot zoner and she was having a session and I was just sitting there like on my phone, trying to find something for me to do. This was before I knew about Reiki and I was trying to find something that I could do in this world. Like I knew that there was something spiritual, some kind of spiritual work that I needed to do, but I didn't know what. And this practitioner stopped working on my mom and she looked up at me and she said you need to be doing this and I was like how do you know what I was looking at? You know looking for right then on my phone. So I said, okay, I'll do it. So I actually, at the same time I was going through my Reiki training. I was going through foot reflexology, foot zoning training, so I've been doing both for almost 11 years and working with women's health and hormones.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:21:59

I later became a postpartum doula because, after having my children, my postpartum experience was very difficult and the other component to this was, since being sexually assaulted, I had a big emotional block of energy in my body and in that womb space.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:22:26

Um, and moving that energy and healing from that energy, it it became a space of creation and of divinity where I could create a baby and to hold that space for them. And but I've struggled a lot in my marriage with, with intimacy, and I thought there is something wrong with me. I don't, it's like a switch. And so I went to MDs. I'd go to my family practitioner and say I feel like there's something wrong with me, like I feel like it's just a switch that's been turned off and I can't turn it back on. I don't, I don't know what to do about this, you know. And they checked my hormones and it wasn't hormones, and they checked this and then just, and it wasn't anything that could come back abnormal from a test. And finally he said I think you just need a vacation. I was like no, but okay and um yeah, I'm like, uh, give me some money and I'll gladly.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:23:35

Yeah, Um and so then that's, that was right before I learned about Reiki and energy energy medicine.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:23:45

That was right before I learned about Reiki and energy energy medicine, emotional medicine and, um, so I would see these, these women who had these physical ailments and they would have, they had all the tests and nothing came up back abnormal, and and so we would do energy work and they, they would get pregnant or they would stop having kidney pain or this and that, and it was great. And I did that for several years and in the last, I would say maybe four years, it was the beginning of the year and I felt something, I felt on the cusp of something and I'm, I'm a, I'm a personality that like, okay, I feel like I'm ready for the next thing, so I go take the next class or I go, you know, teach the next class or go and experience the newest thing in medicine or whatever, or in holistic medicine. But it wasn't that thing in medicine or whatever or in holistic medicine, but it wasn't that. I felt like there was something needing to happen within myself, but it wasn't anything that I can go out and get.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:24:54

And I was having a conversation with my sister one day and she goes you know, I feel the same way, I have been feeling the same way and so has so-and-so and so-and-so. I said, well, you know what, I just was seeing some clients recently who have been feeling the same way and so has so-and-so and so-and-so. I said, well, you know what, I just was seeing some clients recently who've been expressing the same thing. What is this? And I said, well, because I kept thinking like I'm there's more, like I meant for more, I need to go do something more. And I thought I wonder if it's a midlife crisis. Maybe I'm there, like maybe that's what it is. But I was after. She told me, well, I feel like this and my friends feel like this. And I thought my clients like this.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:25:30

I started thinking, well, they're all different ages, they're in all different stages of life, so it can't be that, you know. And she said to me one day she said you know what I think it is. And we sort of both came to the same conclusion at the same time and we said I think it's more a spiritual progression. And they said that's that feels right, because that's something that I can't really do, but I feel like something spiritually is starting to shift collectively and you, you remember, in 2020, the collective energy of the world was really intense and really negative really negative and really anxiety ridden, and you could feel it Even if you didn't watch the news.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:26:18

So about this same time, I started having spiritual experiences. I've, I call them, um, like our perspectives. Different perspectives were given to me and this sounds funny, but I call them. I call them glitches, like it was like more and more throughout the last four years, especially this last year. I have these glitches where, like I almost have one foot in this world and one foot out and I started feeling that same collective energy on the other side of the veil, where something was brewing there just like it was brewing here, where something was brewing there just like it was brewing here, and I felt like there's something, something's happening, something's shifting.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:27:15

And so, as I saw more clients and talk to more friends, they would say the same things. They would say you know, I just, I feel like I'm meant for more spiritually. I feel like you know, I just, I feel like I'm meant for more spiritually. I feel like you know, I, I helped. I was the oldest child, so I helped raise my siblings and then I graduated high school and I got married and I started having my own kids. Now I'm an empty nester and I have no idea what I'm doing, like I have no idea what my purpose is. I feel like I'm meant for more. I don't, or I don't know what I love, I don't have hobbies, or I don't have a libido. I don't feel connected to people, to my spouse, I don't feel connected when I go to church. I feel this disconnect but at the same time I feel the spiritual shift into like a new, something new. But we all were like, you know, it's like that, like nobody really has had words for it. And and so, remembering that spiritual circle in AA, um, and then feeling that, with women, I started having women's moon circles. They're as old as time they're, you know. They would get together in circles to celebrate, to mourn, to just get support and have unity, and AA was my first circle. So for eight years I've had women's moon circles. I still hold them once a month and it's where women can get together and, and you know, go through anything together. And it's like you know, we're affected by the new moon or the full moon or a, or an eclipse or a retrograde or whatever. And some people, you know, I've worked in healthcare, I worked in, I worked in, you know, an Alzheimer's wing, and when that full moon was going, we knew that it was going to be quite the night. We're affected by the moon and so it's just so validating to get together and say, oh my gosh, that's how I've been feeling too.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:29:17

And so Circles last November I sort of rebranded my business. I semi-retired from from foot zoning and other things and and rebranded my business to just focus on spiritual health and spiritual work and energy work and and doing circles, because a year and a half ago I had a circle, I had a moon circle and we had a meditation and I just kept hearing the word surrender, surrender, surrender. And then we started talking about the sacred feminine, which is basically our divinity as women and of men, and I said I don't even know what that means. I don't even know if I would know what that looks like, because, because of the trauma that I've had, I had a wall up. I didn't want to be hurt. I didn't want to be hurt by a man, um, and I couldn't. I didn't have trust there, even if it was subconscious, and it was like God, and universe was like oh, let me show you. And it was like dump, because the next 24 hours completely changed my life, I had new eyes. I saw my husband differently. I saw him in his divinity, the way God created him. I saw my bishop in the same light. It takes my breath away to see that part of your soul, and I've seen women who have said these things. I don't know what this feels like, I don't know. I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of that.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:30:58

Now, working with women to remember their divinity, to remember their sacred feminine and that relationship the way God intended it to be, and their lives change. And after that 24 hours, my whole year changed. That was just last year, and so now, um, when I rerounded my business, I I've been leading sacred feminine pilgrimages is what I call it, because they are spiritual retreats to sacred sites all over the world. So we've been to Sedona, arizona. We went to Scotland in September, glastonbury, England, you know and they're all spiritual, spiritually and Christ-based, to get into a circle with other women and to see no more surface living.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:31:48

I feel like God has impressed upon me that the time is coming of his return and that everybody is feeling this shift for a reason that you know.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:32:05

The world's collective vibration is here, while Christ is up here, and he needs us somewhere you know, meet me in the middle of it, and so people are starting to remember.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:32:18

I've started to remember I don't know if it's pre-life, pre-existence, but I remember who I am, I remember my role, I remember why I'm here and and God has told me more than one time every time I ask, it's the same answer is to help others remember their divinity. Because I can promise you that people watching this have started remembering things, or at least feeling something, and don't know what it is. And it's just that it's time to get these more soul-based connections with each other and to to go hand in hand with each other and raise the vibration on this earth, because this will be heaven on earth. But we've got to raise that vibration and meet him when he comes and to heal that relationship of the feminine, the masculine within ourselves and with each other. And I have had these glitch. There's so much in this world that we worry about that is that is, that we shouldn't worry about.

Alisha Coakley: 1:33:55

Yeah.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:33:57

That it doesn't. It doesn't matter. I know it feels like it matters, but it doesn't matter. The Lord has shown me and given me the gift of seeing other spirits and the last couple of years and and to feel that spirit, to to see that spirit and that other side. And here is, the things that you feel and remember are just they're wild and they make you feel and remember are just they're wild and they make they put everything into perspective and and that is that's my prayer every morning that I can, that I can meet these people who are remembering that they are. They have these beacons going off around the world and it's our job to find each other and to raise the vibration.

Alisha Coakley: 1:34:49

Wow, wow, you have been through so much, like I, and it's so hard because it's like I, I'm, I'm, I'm understanding the language that you're saying, you know, but I also know that it's it's really hard for people who have never heard that kind of language before, talking about vibrations and you know feminine and the masculine and all that kind of stuff, like it's like a whole different thing. Um, and it really is in line with the gospel, like when you learn about it little by little, in steps, you can see how heavenly father has this beautiful plan for all of us and um and I, and I think that I think that the closer we get to Christ coming, the more we see that so many of us have been through immense amounts of trauma and we're going to continue to go through it and that heavenly father has has reserved us for this time, because he knew that we needed to be able to heal ourselves and he needed the strongest to be able to do that and to be able to heal the world. And I just think that it is such a beautiful thing that we're at this place where we have so many resources to tap into that healing at so many different stages, you know, but all of it, all of all of the healing that happens comes through Christ. You know, even if it's your traditional pharmaceutical kind of medicines, kind of stuff like that was inspired by Jesus Christ, cause he's the creative role of all. And I just, I think it's. I mean kudos to you for making the changes necessary and for being who you are now. And I this is crazy, right, like I mean not crazy, it's, it's awesome.

Alisha Coakley: 1:36:30

I'm sitting here and I'm watching you as you're talking and I feel like I I'm going to get goosebumps a little emotional as you started talking about just remembering who we are. I feel like I could see this complete glow come over you, like you can just feel it coming from in the spirit coming from you and the honesty that you have in your testimony of the Savior and the gifts that are coming from him to be able to help other women. And it was just. It was just like this, just this, almost like this filter of beauty that came over you. That was different, you know, like you're gorgeous anyway, but it was just like it was just this.

Alisha Coakley: 1:37:22

I don't even know how to explain it now. I feel like I'm a crazy person, but it just, it really made me feel the spirit and I'm just so thankful for you for coming on here today and for sharing your experience with us and, um, just that testimony of how important it is for us to really remember who God created us to be and to to seek out the resources necessary in order to step into our, our fullest potential and to step back into that role that Heavenly Father needs from us to be able to heal and and to move forward and to heal the world. So thank you for that.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:37:57

Yeah, we were. We were born with everything that we we needed. He gave us everything that we we needed. He gave us everything that we needed the day we were born, yeah, and and then circumstances happen, and traumas happen, and conditioning happens, or choices are made and and I you know, and it's it's sort of like unraveling that, that knot the whole rest of your life just to get back to that person that we were when we were born, that person that God made us be. That's that soul and that's that's the point, right, yeah?

Scott Brandley: 1:38:37

I wonder if, like in the pre-existence, god was like hey, jenna, this is going to be your journey and it's going to be insane and it's going to be incredibly hard. You're going to go to the lowest of the low, but you're also going to experience the highest of the high and because of that, you're going to have this incredible perspective that's going to help you change the lives of thousands of people in the world, going to help you change the lives of thousands of people in the world. You know, like if you could look back at at your life, because your story is insane, but in a good way, and bad way it's right, like, but the perspective and the person that you are now would not exist if you didn't go through those right that incredible journey and

Scott Brandley: 1:39:28

yeah, I mean there were. I don't know. I lost count of how many times like you talked about like suicide and just absolute no worth and being lost, but like somehow you, god, was there. Yeah, right, yeah. And because of that, even if you couldn't see him then, because of that, now you can just run and do these amazing things, I mean that's very inspirational your story is. It's really hard to hear, but it's also amazing at the end where you're like you just you're so inspiring and I think you're gonna just do amazing things for the rest of your life because of those hard things you just went through that's the prayer because I've asked so many times over the years why am I still here?

Jenna Frandsen: 1:40:24

Because I shouldn't be, for so many reasons. Oh yeah, you know this day, this day, this day, so many reasons. And I said, god, I know you love me, I know you do, because otherwise I would not be here. Otherwise I would not be here. So what is it that you need me to do? And there's days where it's just like I feel, like I'm still waiting for that email to come in but, but.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:40:52

But I know what he has told me and I know what he has shown me and I will never deny it. And I know it's to remember, to remember who we are and and when you do, when you access that, like we were talking earlier, I think Vinny said something on your show about accessing that switch, kind of you will never look at this life the same again, and it's something that I will never be able to put into words but that everybody can experience, because we are all souls, we all have souls and we all come from divinity.

Alisha Coakley: 1:41:33

Yeah, oh, wow. Well, tell us, jenna, I know that you have a book that you wrote. Will you tell us a little bit about that, like, what's the title? Where can we get it? What's it?

Jenna Frandsen: 1:41:46

about. It's called the meaning in the mire. Um, you can get it on amazon and it's. It's this story. It's about this story, um, but also um stories in the scriptures of trial and of the times where you think that you are completely alone in the darkness and with the adversary as your best friend. And what came out of those stories and, um, I, I wrote it. I wrote it mainly as a a book for parents of an addict, as well as the one who is struggling with addiction.

Alisha Coakley: 1:42:32

Wow. Well, I can already think of so many people who could definitely benefit from that and from it's crazy because we're, we're at. You know, an hour and 45 minutes is one of our longer episodes. But I have so many questions. I want to keep asking you and at the same time I'm like let's just let the spirit speak through the story themselves, and I'm just going to schedule some time to hop on a call with you afterwards.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:42:58

Let's do it.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:43:00

This is like I said like, I feel like this is. I mean, I'm obviously like here to be a mother and I love that role, but this is why I'm here. I, I want to speak, I want to and I have. I have the story of, of the widow, I have the message of the addict, I have the message of the, the assaulted and traumatized, or whatever, or the, the infertile, or the infertile.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:43:28

But I think the point, the point is, is remember, not learning anything new on this, this earth, and in this earth life, this mortal life, it's remembering who we were before and despite all of these things. And so I, I Jenna myself is not very good at communicating and I give answers like, oh, that's super cool. So if I, I, I am purely like a mouthpiece and, and I know that that God, you know, god's voice comes through the spirit's voice, because otherwise that that jenna doesn't say things like that, I don't come up with things like that, um, and so I love, I love speaking in person, I love speaking, you know, one-on-one. I love, I love doing one-on-one sessions, because the energy that you bring and your spirit is so incredibly beautiful and will blow you out of the water, and it's coming from you. It's your soul that God made, and when you recognize that your life isn't the same.

Scott Brandley: 1:44:37

So let's talk about that for one second Helping people to recognize this divine side of them. What's been some of the experiences that people have had when you've helped them to recognize that?

Jenna Frandsen: 1:44:52

I think one of the biggest experiences, I think one of the most prominent in my personal life is my own mother, because my mother has gone through because of her generation, has gone through a lot as a woman.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:45:09

You know, she's very independent, like I said, like all through her 20s she was traveling and doing theater and and she was very independent and then she got pregnant, which she wanted to, she wanted to have a family, but she got pregnant and it was sort of like, because of her generation, I think, and the generation before her, it was sort of like, because of her generation, I think, and the generation before her, it was almost like a sentence to her personality and she really struggled with that.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:45:31

And then she struggled very, very. She struggled very severely with depression and severe, you know, anxiety. And so I was talking to her when I got back from that trip, that 24 hours, that just like of discovering my divinity and the I know it's a certain language, but like the feminine and the masculine parts of ourselves. I was talking to her and she just I've never seen that look on her face and she said, yes, that I have been missing, that I have not claimed that or not remembered that I have thought well, now I'm this other person and I can't be this person anymore. This, this soul that was born.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:46:15

I can't be her anymore because the world needs me to be this or my community, or my religion or my culture wants me to be this, and that was a sentence for her. She became a victim after that and I said no, I said I know, because I know exactly where I was when, when I was told by the spirit that I can see. I can see people's spirits, and that has been such a humble gift, but I can see her spirit. And I said you are such a light worker Like you, are so strong and independent and you are to do these things as well. And she said oh, that's what I want to do, that's what I've always wanted to do, you know, and that's what I have felt like and that's what she slowly started recognizing that in herself again. She slowly started recognizing well, that's what I've always felt, that's been natural to me, but I felt like I needed to be this person and so, as soon as you start to recognize that and 99% of sessions that I do, or even just conversations that I have with people about this, is spirit led, a hundred percent spirit led, and it's I feel like the spirit is there to give you a glimpse as a feeling of recognition like that, that, that recognition that um of like that recognition, that remembrance, like, oh, that seems familiar. Do you know what I mean? Like that feeling of frowned upon in my household or like that was. That seemed immature or something, or I couldn't get a job doing that, so I kind of got somewhere else.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:48:04

But now it was like, oh, I do love that. Well, why don't I do that? Maybe I'll be a tattoo artist or I'll be a sculptor or something like that's not silly, that's, that's actually. That's really cool. And then you start to do those things. You start to pull on those threads and I like to call them breadcrumbs. You start to pick up those breadcrumbs and I feel like God puts down another one, and then you pick up that one. And all the time that you are picking up these breadcrumbs because he's laying down the breadcrumbs that are for you specifically the closer you get to him, the closer you get to remembering oh, that's who God made me be and it actually feels really good to be that person and it's okay to be that person. Let's do that the rest of my life, you know. Yeah.

Alisha Coakley: 1:48:54

Wow, it's funny because when you were talking about how you know, you were feeling this like almost like a separation right, like that's the way that I and I've been going through this this whole last year.

Alisha Coakley: 1:49:05

Um, I, I have felt very separated from everybody and everything and all the things that I used to love, and it's like what is going on, like why am I not getting all of this joy and fulfillment out of all the things that I've always loved and that, like people know me for you know, like they know me for doing this or know me for doing that, and I have felt like what is going on. But at the same time, I've also felt like there's something else spiritually that I'm not tapping into right now and I don't know what it is and I don't know if I'm supposed to look for it or wait for it. I just know it's just. It's just there's something happening and it was like it just affirmed to me, as you were telling that part of your story, that, um, that what I was experiencing and what I'm like, hopefully, on the tail end of experiencing, um is real, that there's like really something, and it doesn't have to be menopause. I'm like it's a midlife crisis.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:50:06

It has to be, I don't know, but, um, but, and see, and there's something there too, because when we hit puberty is there's, there's a, there's a milestone there. And when we, and when we have a baby, there's a milestone there. When we have menopause, there's a milestone there. And it's not just women, it's for men too. And but our world sees it as, for instance, when we, when we, as 11 year old girls, go from not a care in the world, singing out loud, nobody judges me, everybody thinks I'm cute, I'm running around with no shoes and no shirt on and no one cares.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:50:50

And then I hit 11 years old and all of a sudden, it's like, you know, you get your period for the first time and it's like something's wrong with you. And you, you know, your body starts to change and something's wrong with you. My, my little girl mind, that's still over here, dancing is like, wait what? There's nothing wrong with me, and the confusion starts. So, even in menopause, you know, I hear so many people who are like, well, I'm enjoying it while it lasts, because now you're in menopause and now your life is over. And I'm like, no, no, no, now you're in your CNS is another language, but now you're in your crone years and you're in your wisdom and I'm looking to you to remember your wisdom, to teach me. You recognize that and you remember that and you own that and the spirit will work through you, because that's how you were designed.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:51:39

That's cool, I'm counting on you, he's counting on you.

Scott Brandley: 1:51:43

Yeah, I can relate to what you're saying. Um, the divine idea is, it feels to me and I think, like this podcast is one of those breadcrumbs that I think God just kind of like helped, helped me personally to, to see more of the potential that I could, that I could have if I followed that divine path a little more.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:52:08

I mean because I'm an entrepreneur.

Scott Brandley: 1:52:10

I've been running businesses since I can remember. But part of me, there's a part of me that wants to help people discover their divine nature and their purpose. Like Like, I know that about me, I just don't know how to get it out of me.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:52:29

Come with me to England in February, Scott.

Scott Brandley: 1:52:36

But I can feel it, so like I can relate to what you're saying. Your path is is unique. It's not traditional by any means as far as like the gospel and the church goes, but I respect you for it, that you're willing to take the risks. I don't know if I'm quite there yet, but, um, but I do feel.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:52:57

I do feel like there's something more in me that I can that like a bigger purpose, a bigger I can be a bigger instrument in God's hands if I continue to follow these breadcrumbs and and help people yes, if I can recognize my own divine self and I can help others yes, yes, oh, yes, and I see that, I see that in you and I can hear it when you're talking and I and it humbles me because your spirit is so.

Alisha Coakley: 1:53:28

You have such a humble spirit and I love that you're picking up those bread crumbs because I need you you know, what I think is awesome about you, like, among a million other things right Is that you are so non-traditional in the church, like, like you're a tattoo artist and you had all of these experiences and you like, even like you've got dreadlocks in your hair and just I just love it, like, uh, you just have this whole uniqueness about you. But I think that what heavenly father is doing is he's he's using you like in your truest form and putting you in the places where other members of the church would never have an influence. You know like, because people just would be like you can't relate to me, you don't know what it's like, or you're going to be too judgmental because you look too much like a relief society president or an elder. You know what it's like, or you're going to be too judgmental because you look too much like a Relief Society president or an elders. You know what I mean Like, and I think that, heavenly Father, I've seen that, especially since we've started this show a couple of years ago, that there are there are so many different testimonies, so many different walks in this life, so many different personalities out there, and each and every single one of us is here specifically to help somebody else, and so Heavenly Father needs that uniqueness in each of us to really come forward to be very authentic.

Alisha Coakley: 1:54:57

That's one thing that I loved when Vinny would talk about on the show. He talked about your, your authentic, like your authenticity, like being your truest, most real person. That is the most powerful person that heavenly father can use. So it's not, it's not mimicking yourself after specifically like the prophet or the bishop or the relief study president, and even when it talks in scriptures about you know, becoming like Christ, it wasn't about doing exactly the way that he does it, you know, bar none. It's not like wearing his sandals and his robes and cutting off technology. That Christ was so authentically himself. He was so pure in his divine role, in his divine purpose, in everything that he did, he did it with 100% authenticity. And so if we are to be like Christ, then we, too, need to be as authentic as we can, and the only way for us to do that is really to be able to go and to do the things necessary in order to remember who we are.

Alisha Coakley: 1:56:03

I think for me personally, it has always been little nuggets that are found in my patriarchal blessing right, like if I go back and I really read my patriarchal blessing, I can see where there's a gap between what my blessing is saying and where I'm at, and I'm like, oh, okay, I got to get back over here, this is where I need at. And I'm like, oh, okay, I got to get back over here, this is where I need to go. And I've seen that even in like the callings and stuff that I've been extended in church, right, like, sometimes I get callings that are really easy for me and I'm like I'm going to be great at this, and then I get the callings that are like, seriously, like I think you got that wrong, but I I know that heavenly father has something for me that he needs me to learn in those callings, something that he wants me to remember in order for me to be more authentic and more more of who I am. So, uh, this is just a good. This is just a good one.

Alisha Coakley: 1:56:57

I love this show with your story and everything so far. I'm excited to to grab your book and to read through it and just to hear more about all the things that you're doing. So, um, so I know we can get your book on Amazon If someone is interested in reaching out to you and, you know, scheduling some time with you or whatever else. What's the best way for them to do that, like through social media, or do you want them to?

Jenna Frandsen: 1:57:22

um email, yeah, I've got. Yeah, I've got. I've got an email. I've got a website the healer in you utahcom. And I'm on instagram the healer in you. Um, I recently just got on to youtube because on my I tend to just like record myself and the thoughts when, when spirit starts talking, like, I just press record. So it's not like fancy or professional and by any means, but, um, I wanted it to be more of a place of authenticity and so I started doing more of like a video podcast instead of social media. But I am on there too. I've got a lot of my um, my retreat stuff on there, my pilgrimage stuff on there, on the, on the Instagram. But I do have a website and it has my email on there.

Alisha Coakley: 1:58:13

So Okay, awesome. Well, we'll be sure to share all of that in the description. So if anyone's looking to get in contact or to get your book or anything like that, um, we'll be sure to share those links for you guys to get your book or anything like that, we'll be sure to share those links for you guys.

Scott Brandley: 1:58:28

Okay, great, thank you so much.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:58:34

So, jenna, as we wrap up, do you have any last thoughts you'd like to share? Just of the importance, the importance of that God wants you to know, that you are so important for this time and it is. It's so important for you to remember your divinity and who you are and who you made you and why he made you, what you're here for, and just I love you Awesome.

Alisha Coakley: 1:59:03

Well, we love you Awesome. Well, we love you, Jenna. Like I said, we're besties.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:59:12

Yeah, we got a lot in common, that's no problem.

Alisha Coakley: 1:59:16

I think maybe the next show Scott might have to give your hairstyle a try and see how, how he can pull off.

Scott Brandley: 1:59:23

Yeah, get that beard a little longer and we'll put some in there when I got released from being a bishop, I grew out my beard for a year and I had my before I shaved it.

Alisha Coakley: 1:59:34

I had my kids braid it yeah, it was like legit mountain man. I was like what that's awesome.

Jenna Frandsen: 1:59:43

That's how my dad grows his beard. He's like my barefoot dad and big beard, and my husband too. My husband grows a big old beard and bald head, and so you fit right in.

Scott Brandley: 1:59:54

Yeah, there you go, cool. Well, thanks again, jenna, for being on the show and thank you everyone for tuning in and listening to Jenna's story. Um, if you know anyone that can benefit from hearing Jenna's story, do your five second missionary work, go hit that share button and let's get this story out so people can hear it, cause I think this is an amazing story and amazing opportunity to to do some good in the world.

Alisha Coakley: 2:00:22

Yeah, absolutely. And remember, guys, this podcast truly is for every member of the church, and so if you have a story that you are feeling impressed to share, we would love to hear from you. Please, please, please, go to our website, latterdaylightscom, and you can fill the form out at the bottom of the page, or you can email us at latterdaylights at gmailcom.

Scott Brandley: 2:00:50

We would love to hear from you guys. Yeah, so there you have it. Thanks again, jenna.

Alisha Coakley: 2:00:54

And thanks everybody, and we will talk to you next week with another episode. Take care, bye-bye, bye guys.