LDS Podcast "Latter-Day Lights" - Inspirational LDS Stories

Dating and Divorce Through Spiritual Devotion: Anjilee Ferguson's Story - Latter-Day Lights

• Scott Brandley and Alisha Coakley

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What transformative growth lies on the other side of heartbreak?

Author and BYU Peer-Mentor Supervisor Anjilee Ferguson shares her soul-stirring journey through the complexities of dating, marriage, and blindsided breakups, revealing how these experiences have profoundly shaped her self-awareness - and, most importantly - her faith.

From struggling to find love post-divorce, to navigating the societal pressure on women to marry, Anjilee delves into the life lessons encapsulated in her book, “Yes, No, Maybe So.” Tune in as she offers insights into how her faith has been both tested and strengthened, highlighting the importance of Gospel principles in overcoming life’s challenges. As such, the book not only explores her own narratives, but also acts as a beacon for others from all walks of life, and in all phases of love.

Anjilee’s story is a compelling exploration of resilience, emphasizing the power of making conscious choices in alignment with one’s values and faith. Her experiences encourage a deeper reflection on how individual trials can lead to profound personal evolution, and a reinforced spiritual foundation.

*** Please SHARE Anjilee's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***

To WATCH this episode, visit: https://youtu.be/wL8CTPJ6-Qw

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To READ Anjilee's book, "Yes, No, Maybe So: A Comedy of Dating, Divorce, and Devotion” visit: https://www.amazon.com/Yes-No-Maybe-So-Devotion/dp/1462146414

To READ "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie, visit: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593234510?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_7KK7NNCM5S1GQ08V1PP2&starsLeft=1

To READ "The Empowered Wife" by Laura Doyle, visit: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1637742266?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_BAW7KA4JGS42KYH20V6F&starsLeft=1

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Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.

Scott Brandley:

Hi everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.

Alisha Coakley:

And I'm Alisha Coakley. Every member of the church has a story to share, one that can instill faith, invite growth and inspire others.

Scott Brandley:

On today's episode we're going to hear how dating, divorcing and remarrying has taught one woman that making the conscious choice to have the gospel in her life has helped to build her spiritual resilience and her faith in Christ. Welcome to Latter-day Lights. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Latter-day Lights. We're so glad you're here with us today and we're really excited to introduce our special guest, Anjilee Ferguson. Anjilee, welcome to the show.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Thank you, Scott and Alisha, for having me. I'm really excited to be here.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, we're super excited that you reached out to us, scott, and I always love when we don't have to go like track people down and like force them to be on our show. When they actually come to us it's like such a nice, nice break. So we really really appreciate it and appreciate you like having the courage to actually do that too, cause I know it's not always, it's not always easy coming on here and being raw and real and, you know, sharing things that are sacred to you. So we really really appreciate it.

Scott Brandley:

So our listeners- yeah so, Anjilee, you bet Tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah so, Anjilee, you bet Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, so I am a current well, current recently, I should say recently published author. Pretty excited. My nine-year-old self is like, woohoo, you did it. And you know I thought it would be writing something cool like Harry Potter or some fictional character that everybody would just love, but then I realized there was, you know, more to my story. So I ended up writing my story.

Anjilee Ferguson:

But when I'm not writing, I do work at BYO as a peer mentor supervisor. So I'm in the Office of First Year Experience there and I help train upperclassmen to be peer mentors for the first year students that are coming in. So that's a pretty rewarding job. I really love it being face to face and helping to mentor college students. So that's kind of what I do on the side, I guess you could say, of writing and living life. And then, yeah, I also have had my hand in entrepreneurship. I co-founded an online school and I kind of recently stepped back from, like, the day-to-day leadership role, but I do still serve on the board, so I kind of consult and help with that as well. So that keeps me busy. And then, yeah, I'm a wife and a stepmom to a nine-year-old and there's a lot of fun. Keeps us busy and yeah, that's me in a nutshell. I don't feel like it's anything too crazy or exciting.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, it's busy, that's for sure. Yeah, did you get a nap?

Anjilee Ferguson:

today, not yet, you know. Hopefully that's, that's the hope. That's the only way that I survived the week is a Sunday nap. Right, yeah, feel that so true.

Alisha Coakley:

Awesome, and so you're obviously living in Utah, somewhere around BYU's campus correct?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, I can, I commute a little bit, but it's not too bad so correct?

Alisha Coakley:

yeah, I can I commute a little bit, but it's not too bad, so very cool. Yeah, awesome. Well, where? I mean we'll probably talk about this too, but where? I guess, where's your book? What is it called? You want? To give us a little bit of highlight in there yeah, so so it's called yes, no, maybe.

Anjilee Ferguson:

so a comedy of dating, divorce and so a lot of alliteration for you.

Alisha Coakley:

That's my favorite thing in the whole writing world. Yeah, it was fun.

Anjilee Ferguson:

It was fun Once. Once the publisher and I landed on that title, I was like, oh, I really like this. So, yeah, you can, you can find it on Amazon, on Audible. I did just finish recording an audiobook version. So for those that like audiobooks, like my husband, yep, that's available on Audible and then, yeah, it's on Amazon and then also on cedarfortcom that's cool.

Alisha Coakley:

Did you read it yourself or did you get an? Get an actor, a voice actor.

Anjilee Ferguson:

I did read it myself. So that was kind of an interesting experience because I think we're all hypercritical of how our voices sound and so, listening to the playback, I tried editing it and then I gave up after a while and I said maybe your team needs to edit this because it's so particular and all the things.

Alisha Coakley:

But it worked.

Anjilee Ferguson:

It was a fun project for sure. That's cool.

Alisha Coakley:

Very cool. Well, congratulations on that, thank you. Well, we know that we're going to be talking about the things that you put in your book today. We don't want to delay that any further, so why don't you go ahead and tell us where your story begins?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah. So you know it's funny because I again, I never thought that I would be writing about my story. I thought, oh, I can create fictional characters and do this thing and do writing, which I love. But as I got older and older, in you know the church culture, especially where I was still single in my 20s, I realized, wow, there's some value here. So really, I mean my story kind of begins in high school, right, like everybody's story does. You're trying to find yourself and who you are.

Anjilee Ferguson:

You know dating when you're about 16. And I was so excited for that because I was, I was fairly young for my class. So when I was a sophomore in high school, I was 15 the whole year. So I was one of those summer birthday right. So I felt like I was kind of constantly playing catch up to my friends around me or driving, dating, getting to experience all these things before I was. And so I just I had this excitement dating because it seemed like, ooh, is this? It's this thing that I finally get to do?

Anjilee Ferguson:

And so you know, high school dating was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it, had a lot of good experiences there, and then I went on a mission at 21. So this kind of ages me, because this was back when the age to go was 21. And so that was kind of always a goal I had had since young women. I was like you know, I want to go on a mission. I think it would be great, and you know, what I always heard was well, that's a great goal, but really your focus is to become a wife, right?

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, it was kind of the backup goal right or the backup plan.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yes, Right, yeah, yeah, 100% that's what I constantly heard was like, oh, that's awesome, and if there's not a righteous man that you're supposed to marry, then sure go for it, right, right. And so that was kind of the yes you can say when I was growing up was like, you know, your job is to get married and that's what you're here for. And so I think that shaped kind of a lot of the attitudes and expectations I guess that I had around dating. And so then when I, you know, I graduated college when I was 20. And so I thought, well, what's next? And so then I decided the mission was the answer. And you know, even on my mission it was funny because I would get comments like how did you get to the mission field? You're too cute, you should have been married before now and you know all these things. And I was like wow is that all it takes?

Anjilee Ferguson:

yeah, I was like, well, apparently I'm doing something wrong because here I am right. Yeah, I was like, well, apparently I'm doing something wrong because here I am right. But yeah, I just remember thinking is that really all people care about? Like it seems like that's every conversation is. Well, why aren't you dating? Why aren't you married? Don't you want to be married? Don't you want to be dating? You know, and sometimes I was a little snarky and be like no, I want to die alone. You know, like, yeah, I'm trying, I'm doing the thing.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And so, yeah, I got back from my mission, did the whole singles ward scene and, yeah, it was just me and all of my mates, friends, in the ward. We all kind of just felt this pressure and expectations, but like none of us knew how to do it right. It felt like we were just kind of living our lives, we had careers, we were working, you know. And so I remember thinking, man, I've had some terrible date experiences, but I've also had some good ones. And when I would tell people my stories, they'd be like there's no way that happened. And I'm like you know, know, I promise you I'm not that creative, I can't make this up like this actually happened. And so I had several people say your life with dating is like a sitcom, and I said, yeah, it kind of is, and so I just started writing these stories down to be like, well, what did I learn from this lesson and how did this shape me? And you know all the things.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And so the book started really as just like a massive Word document with just all my thoughts dumped into a master document and slowly evolved into hey, I could turn this into a book one day, because these stories are crazy and they would make people laugh and and they're relatable, and so I kind of wanted to write the book to be a guidebook for people that were maybe feeling some of the same things that I felt like, oh, am I not good enough? Am I doing the dating game wrong? Why is this person treating me this way? Like, where did I miss the mark? You know all the questions that single people over the age of 25 usually have in the church. Yeah, because, yeah, it's definitely an interesting road to navigate. Right here, you're the single person in a family-centered church, and where do I fit in? How do I make this work when I'm trying? Right, gotcha, and so that's kind of where the book started.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And so when I got married the time I was 27. And it was still a goal of mine to publish this book, because I still have friends that were in their late 20s, early 30s, that were still single, they were still venting to me about the frustration, hating the options that were out there, and just you know all the, all the frustrating things that are trying to just hold fast to the gospel and still keep their faith while also not giving up hope that they would find that person. And so so I kept, just kept at it right While I was married the first time, and then I kind of got serious about writing it a little more, and then I got a total curveball thrown at me and my ex-husband came to me and just said I'm done, I don't want to be married anymore.

Anjilee Ferguson:

I was like wow, yeah, it was the bomb. I was shocked how long were you guys married for.

Alisha Coakley:

We were married for six years.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Oh wow, so it wasn't necessarily a short marriage.

Alisha Coakley:

Right right.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, there was some time invested, and so it really did come out of left field for me and I was kind of like whoa, what just happened, you know, and it was, it was a very fast divorce process. Like I came home from a trip and he said I'm done, I've been unhappy for three years, let's just be done and go our separate ways. He had a plan for moving on with his life and I was just kind of left reeling and I was like whoa, okay, but before we end, you know, this six year temple marriage, can we like try counseling? Can we get you some help if there's other things you're dealing with, like try counseling, can we get you some help if there's other things you're dealing with? Like you know, it was it.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Just it totally blindsided me because nothing had changed about his behavior, he hadn't confided in me, that he was feeling of these things, and so it was really just kind of a gut punch, you know, and yeah, so it was. So then I'm thinking, thinking, oh, wow, what I thought was my happily ever after is now what did I do and how did I get?

Alisha Coakley:

here, Right and like. Now you have to go back to that dating world and you mentioned you had like some crazy experiences. I, you know I don't want to ruin everything, but like, will you give us a little teaser of like or an example, or like one of your favorite? Yeah?

Anjilee Ferguson:

yeah, so one that actually did not make the book and I was oh dang, I should have mentioned this one. Um was so in the singles ward, right. They, you know, you're kind of dating within that dating pool, and so it's a tricky scene to navigate sometimes if you try to date within a singles ward, right, because if you're one person, they see you as you're with that person, and then if you break up, it's a whole thing, right.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, and so there was my nearly 16 year old just told me there's a term for it nowadays. I'm going to learn you guys something so new it's called a situation ship. Oh, yes, have you heard this, yet I know I've heard this term.

Anjilee Ferguson:

No, I've heard this term.

Alisha Coakley:

This is the first time ever. I'm 41. Situation ship. It's not a really relationship, but it's like there's a situation happening and you guys are kind of committed to it, to seeing this situation out. But it's not anything you know ironclad, yeah, no commitment, right?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Well, that's a great word to describe this story. I'm about to share a situation, right? So so I was kind of interested in this guy. We had been super flirt with other activities, um. But he had seen me previously kind of going on dates with another guy and then that kind of just fizzled out. But he decided he was going to invite me to a concert with some other friends in the singles ward and so I was his date. We went along with a couple other people Mostly I think one of them was his best friend and his best friend's date people. Mostly, I think one of them was his best friend and his best friend's date.

Anjilee Ferguson:

While we get to the concert, we're all sitting with each other and it becomes clear very early on that he was there to flirt with his best friend's date. And so I was kind of just there as like a person right, and I'm thinking, oh, I'm third wheeled again, like I'm always this buffer person right, and so it was just an awful situation and I was like, why does this keep happening? Like I know that I'm a friendly person, but come on, like, at what point is someone actually going to be interested? And I'm not just the excuse to go flirt with another girl, right. That had happened more times than I would like to say, but you know it is what it is, so, anyway. So that was one of them, and the worst part was the concert wasn't even that great. You know, I was like man. At least you know, at least it was good music, right? Yeah, it's like I could have salvaged it by at least enjoying the concert, but it was not great.

Anjilee Ferguson:

So I was like, well, here we are I'll just chill until it's over oh, man guys are.

Alisha Coakley:

Sometimes they can be, it's so true obviously not, scott. He's going on 20 something. How many years have you guys been married now?

Scott Brandley:

I don't know, yeah, but I'm I. I was pretty shallow when I was dating were you once. I once stopped dating a girl because I didn't like her shoes oh wow. And then I stopped dating another girl because one time we were like like kind of wrestling around and and her this is weird her nostril like stuck to the side of her nose. I remember you like I'm like that's weird. I couldn't get over it. It was like it's so shallow so shallow, but that's awesome.

Anjilee Ferguson:

I love it, scott, well, and I love that. You can, you know, recognize, hey, I had a shallow phase in dating and I think all of us did right, like it's funny, because I, as I was writing this book, I was really nervous because I was like, you know, I'm going to be writing about these raw, vulnerable details, about what I was feeling and what I was experiencing as I went through a divorce. And you know I never use his name, so it's not like I'm calling him out and I was laughing because I was like there's this delicate balance of, like, do I look like I play the victim or do I look like I'm playing the blame game? And so I throw myself under the bus just as much as I throw him under the bus, right, you know, it's a relationship, it takes two to tango, right? And I can only recognize, like, oh, I learned this and this and this and this is how I could have been better, right? So, rather than just saying it's all his fault, I kind of learned well, what can I take away from this so that I can be a better person? Because obviously I can't control his agency. He's done this, marriage is over, but how do I make the most of it. Right, because it was a big blow. Right Like I divorce was like the first quote, unquote failure I felt like I had in my life and I was like, man, that's a big one, though that's not just a little like, oh, I failed the class in college and I had to repeat it, right, right, and so it became an identity crisis.

Anjilee Ferguson:

A little bit right, because I was that person that had always had kind of like a stalwart testimony. I'd done everything right, I served a mission, you know. And then I'm like well, why me? Like, how did I? Yeah, how did I care? Why is this happening? And so it really became a very introspective time in my life to be like all right, I've learned more now than ever why agency matter, how it can affect people and how am I going to use my agency to make the most of this really crabby situation.

Scott Brandley:

Right.

Anjilee Ferguson:

You know, and so that's again kind of what I recall in in the book, but it just, yeah, it was, it was a bomb, it was. You know the time. I'd say that's probably the closest I've ever had to a faith crisis, where it was, yeah, kind of the initial party of like, well, why me, I did everything right, like what the heck, you know? And kind of the anger and the processing and you know, the stages of grief are very real. You go through anger extents, you know, and then you kind of have little setbacks here and there and then you just kind of get to this place where, okay, I'm good, it is what it is right and it was.

Anjilee Ferguson:

It was really interesting timing too, because my divorce was finalized November of 2019 and then, as we all know, covid hit, like four or five months later, wow and yeah, and so then it became how do I meet people now, like, how do I put myself out there if I'm willing to? You know, right and yeah. So it was a wild time, wild time of life. But in retrospect, like I look back and I'm kind of grateful for the timing, because you know I had I had to move back in with my parents Because at that time I was essentially I was self employed but not making any money money yet, because that's when I had just the online school that I co-founded.

Anjilee Ferguson:

we weren't accredited and so we were working on like all the stages of getting that up and running, so I had no income essentially right and so I'm back in with my parents and you know, at 33 years old that's kind of like, oh, like I've been on my own since I was 18 and now what the heck. But I was so grateful that I had a safe space for COVID because had I been living alone or different circumstances, I probably would have gone insane with all the isolation and you know everything that COVID brought with it.

Alisha Coakley:

So and it was probably one of those like tender mercies where, like then you don't, you didn't also have to worry so much about your parents because you could like be there and see them. And you know, I know that was, um, that was something that I, like we, worried about. Like we were super far away from all of our family when that happened and so just not knowing what could happen and if you could even get to them, and, yeah, it was stressful. So I so right, right, yes, in a very dark, cloudy situation yes, yes.

Anjilee Ferguson:

But then there was also the added stress of oh well, my parents are older and am I going to be the one that brings covid home to them?

Scott Brandley:

right, right, yeah trying, you know, and then Right.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Right, yeah, you know. And then the the panic of, oh, but I need friends and I need connection, and you know, and but like, oh, if I bring it back, then it's my fault, and then my siblings are going to hate me and it's a whole thing. So it's kind of a double-edged.

Alisha Coakley:

Did you kind of pause dating during that time, or did you like just do online? Like, what did that look like for you?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, so I would say it was probably about six, seven months before I was ready to like put myself out there again.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And you know, because I was just like I just need to process this, but at the same time I'm not getting any younger If I still, you know, want a family and my goals, like I can't just crawl in a hole and die, and so so during those six months I really, like I said, was introspective. I read probably more books than I've read in the last you know, five years prior. It's like personal development, growth, spiritual books, you know, things by President Nelson, things by Sister Pierce and Sherry Dew, like I read all the books and I was journaling and writing and processing and kind of, you know, finding myself again, but also learning how to let go of the fact that, you know, I had a divorce. I was a divorced person and, you know, because there was that stigma too of, like you, everything in your power and any two good people can make it work, and I thought, okay, well, what's wrong with me? So there's a lot of self blame, a lot of self blame, and so it was kind of sorting through that and learning how to trust my own intuition again before you know, and rely on the spirit to really just get through it and say, okay, am I ready to do this?

Anjilee Ferguson:

And so I reluctantly joined Dating Out Mutual because I had never done online dating prior, because I always thought that it was just super shallow. I don't have a great relationship with technology, you know, this is not the thing for me. But then in a covid world, how else do you meet people, right? Yes, yeah, and so yeah started kind of just having conversations here and there and I had a few dates, some great guys. Um, before you know, covid fully shut down everything and we all went into full-blown quarantine. And then, yeah, it just kind of became connections through mutual and just kind of having conversations, trying to get to know people, building my confidence and who I was as a person and things like that. So it was definitely, definitely an interesting experience.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, yeah, for sure I want to. I want to just go on a little tangent for a second, because something you said, kind of like you know, made me think of some of this stuff. So, okay, our generation obviously you and I are somewhere in that same age group, I'm assuming you know where we really were like it really was adamantly taught over and over again that that's the most divine role that we women could achieve is unlock marriage and mother status. Right, but I think that what happened is now like, if you look at it nowadays, people look and they're like, oh my gosh, the culture was so wrong, the church taught you so wrong, and they want to blame our feelings about what we were taught on the presidency, you know. Like they want to blame it on, like church members in general.

Alisha Coakley:

So then you see this like this exodus of certain people leaving the church, blaming you know the stigmas and the cultures and the. You know the practices. I guess that don't have to be centered in the gospel per se on everyone except for, like, taking responsibility for themselves. So for me, like I'm right there, but I was a little older, not, you know, not, I didn't go through as much as you went through. But I was a little older when I got married and I married outside of church, like I ended up not marrying a member because pickings were slim and my slim pickings. They were the type of guys I love them dearly. They were like my best friends, but they literally had this concept of I don't want to pay for a date for someone else's wife, like someone else's wife.

Alisha Coakley:

So they would take us, like to the hospital cafeteria where you would get like a dollar fifty for a whole meal, because they were not wanting to pay for someone else's future wife if they had no intentions of marrying us right. And so that was kind of I'm not even joking like I saw wow on your book.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Probably. Maybe I'll do a part two and journey.

Alisha Coakley:

Collect everyone else's stories, we'll put God's nostril story in there. There you go. I like it, yes, I like it, yeah. And so I guess, like, how did you not become bitter in that situation? Like how did you really just go inside and just say, look, okay, yes, we. It is one of the most divine roles that we can achieve in this lifetime, or in the eternities, however you want to look at it. Like both, I guess. However, it's not, it's not a cookie cutter role, right? It's not something for everybody. And and just because I don't have it right now or don't have it in the way I thought, you know, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to have all the blessings of that later on. And then I'm not living my purpose. And you know, how do you kind of like take that negativity viewpoint and turn it into like a positive one, or or at least a more, like a positive one or or at least a more, uh, self-centralized one where where you're taking that responsibility on yourself.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, that is a great question. Um, I, you know, and I and I won't say that I was 100% not bitter. You know, there were times where I went a bitter, cynical phase and was just like, well, you know, I'm going to be single till I'm 45. And that's great, and if it happens before, then awesome. But if not, I'm just gonna live my life and do my thing, right. And so there were times where I had a cynical approach to dating, for sure, and I can dive a little deeper into that in the book and just kind of talk about the things, you know, where it's like I give up, I don't want to do this, it's so hard, right.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And I think for me, I'm being I call myself a recovering perfectionist. You know I try to try to recognize like, all right, I'm not going to be perfect in this life, ease up a little bit, right. So I think I think for people in the church it's hard because there are a lot of us that are perfectionists and so, through again, a lot of just self reflection and personal development and growth. I think a big thing that I learned from my divorce was that I'm human, like I'm gonna make mistakes and that's okay, right, and so I say that about myself. It's easier for me to then extend that grace to the prophet, the apostles, right, like they're still humans too. They're not going to be perfect, and I know that's like weird for members of the church to hear sometimes, because they think they've got it all figured out Right, but no, they're. They're still human, they're still fallible, you know, like we're going to make mistakes and poor, heavenly father.

Anjilee Ferguson:

that's all he has to work with is poor, messed up, imperfect human beings, that's all he's got, yeah, exactly, and so, yeah, so like, yes, exactly, right, and so that's kind of I had to tell myself was like, you know, it's okay. Like, yes, the church culture may be shaped, how I view myself or how I view these expectations, but it's the people. It doesn't affect the fact that, like, I know that I have a savior, I know that he's there for me, right, like that is the root of what matters and just keeping the faith in knowing that, like, yeah, maybe it's not happening for me right now, but I know that if I do my part, that I will get those blessings one day. Right, and I'm kind of in that situation right now. My path is not the typical path, right, like I don't have any biological children and I just turned 38. Right, it doesn't look like it's going to happen for me, and so how do I still overcome that?

Anjilee Ferguson:

That self-talk that taught wrote we hear it all the time. Like you said, arrival is motherhood, wifehood, right, and so then, how do you like, how do you combat that when you feel, well, I'm less than because I haven't birthed my own children? Right, like that's? That's a very real and a very raw thing for myself as well as for other friends and women, you know, in the church, right, like, yes, it's hard not to just have that negative self talk of, well, you're not enough or you haven't done your part. Right, and so it's. It's a lot of prayer, it's a lot of reflection and journaling and all the things right. And again, some days are easier than others and you take the little moments like I cherish the fact that I am the favorite aunt, and you just take the little moments, like I cherish the fact that I am the favorite aunt, like sisters it's the truth, you know, they're all so excited when I show up and I get you know and, like I said, I'm a stepmom and so I have a nine-year-old in my life that I also get to be a parent figure for too, right. And so it's kind of like finding those silver linings of, okay, my journey doesn't look the same as everybody else's, but how can I make the most of the journey I've been given, of the stewardship that I've been given, and how do I just kind of rise above and make the most of it? And so that's kind of.

Anjilee Ferguson:

But it's a conscious choice, right, because, like I said, some days it's so easy to just cry and be angry and get mad, and this is not fair. And why, do you know, drug addicts get to have kids and I don't get that opportunity Right, like, yeah, it's so easy to fall in that spiral, right, but. But then I try to remember, ok, but Satan the one who tries to breed dissension and frustration and all the things, and so it really is just, you know, kind of like the intro said, it's a conscious choice to embrace the gospel and just trust that. Okay, heavenly Father's got my back, jesus knows what I've gone through and I'm going to rely on them to get through this hard time Because, you know, we all, everybody, everybody has something they're dealing with.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Every single person, I person I'm, you know, I'm amazed when I have conversations I'm like holy cow, I didn't know you were dealing with that. That is hard, that is heavy, right, and. And so I just try to cling to the hope of the gospel so that I can get through it right, because if I didn't I would be in much worse shape than I am. And so I'm so grateful that I had the testimony that I did to kind of get through all the hard, and that it's something that I can continue to hold on to when life gets hard, because we're all going to have trials and it doesn't get any easier. But it can be better when we turn to the Savior, and that's kind of what I choose to do.

Scott Brandley:

I love that. Yeah, I love your positive attitude. I know sometimes you can't have a positive attitude, but I love that you're trying to look for the good right and speaking of choices and making those choices, like when you think of your ex-husband, like is there bitterness there? How did you overcome that? I mean, that's a big hit, right.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Have you tried?

Scott Brandley:

to make amends. What's the situation there?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, yeah, it is a big hit and again I'm so grateful for I feel like I was immensely blessed through the divorce process Because when he first kind of hinted like, hey, I've been, you know, sad for the last three years, just have been praying that, like you know I would I, the life could just get better, you know, and he never confided any of those things in me. Better, you know, and he never confided any of those things in me, I made the choice to pray and try to see him as Heavenly Father saw him, so that I could understand a little better, because I wasn't getting much from him. And so I was like, well, how can I? Because at that point I was proceeding with okay, this is going to be a hard road, sounds like you're dealing with a lot and I want to save this marriage. So how can we fix it? And that's why I initially approached it was okay, I'm sorry, you've reached this point, let's try counseling, let's do these things. And so I was praying like help me just have patience and love and charity so I can get through this hard patch, so that we can save our marriage.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And I really think that those prayers gave me an added measure of strength, because I remember, as I was, you know, we were separated and then we're filing divorce papers and the divorce was getting finalized. I remember several people coming up to me and saying I don't know how you're so calm and you're not just laying into him and slandering his name on social media and just you're just calm. And I said well, it's definitely not my doing right, because my, my human nature kicked in and there were days where I was just very angry and very mad of well, you just wasted six years of my life, you just wasted my best childbearing years, wasted six years of my life, you just wasted my best childbearing years. Now I probably won't have kids right, like there was. There was all that negative negativity in there too, but I think because I prayed to have charity, I was able to forgive him quicker than I was able to forgive myself, ironically enough, and that was a that was a learning experience for me, and so to this day, I don't wish him any ill. I really do hope that he is just happy and can figure out whatever journey he's on. I really hope that he can find the peace and the happiness that he's looking for.

Anjilee Ferguson:

I think for us it was easier to cut ties because we didn't have children together. That would have been a totally different story, where that would have been, you know, a totally different story, where it probably would have been a lot of, you know, counseling and figuring things out, learning how to work together in separate places. Because of that, we we were able to just kind of go our separate ways and I haven't talked to him in probably years. Every once in a while I hear little updates from from friends and I'm like, oh, that's cool, good for him, you know, and that's that's kind of the end of the conversation. But again, even that was a conscious choice, right? Because easy to jump on social media and say, oh well, what is he doing now and what is this, and comparing and getting mad, and so it's just. I think the biggest takeaway is, yeah, everything is a conscious choice to not be the victim in your life.

Alisha Coakley:

I love that. Well, take us back, so okay. So we're in COVID, we're getting ready to start dating or doing online dating. You know where do you, where do we go from there?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, um. So, yeah, just kind of doing online dating. And then I get a message one day on Facebook from this guy who I had known who he was before. So he had lived in my neighborhood when I was married and when he was married, and so he saw me on the mutual dating app and reached out and said, hey, are you divorced? And I was like, yeah, I sure am. You know, because he had gotten divorced about a year and a half before I did moved out of the neighborhood, you know, hadn't heard from him. And so then I started talking to this guy because I was like, well, at least a human that I knew, like that, you're a real person, I know who you actually are, right, and so so we started talking and decided to meet up.

Anjilee Ferguson:

I was again, I was living with my parents, and so it was like a three hour drive to get to the big city where he was.

Anjilee Ferguson:

So I drove up there, we met for lunch, like a lunch date, and I remember thinking, well, you know, whatever, I'm not really like looking for anything, but this will be just a good way to maybe talk to somebody who's also been through a divorce and maybe we can just commiserate or, you know, learn how to move on with life. And so I kind of approached it that way. And then this date turned into a 10-hour date where we just like talked and we were connected and just had all these interests together and all these things. And it was so funny because I was staying at my brother's house and I remember telling him I was like, look, this is a lunch date, I'll give it till like four o'clock, like that's plenty of time, like four hours, that's. I'll probably be back before that, but just, you know, plan on me around four. And I remember we were, we went to lunch and then we were still talking at the restaurant outside because of COVID and it's 6 PM and my brother's calling me Are you murdered?

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, basically he's like hey, what's going on?

Anjilee Ferguson:

yeah, yeah, he's like use the word tomorrow if you're not, okay. Yeah, you know, so I, I love my brother. I will forever be grateful to him for that, because I was like you were looking out for me. This is awesome, um, and so, yeah. So then we, um, I told my brother, I said, yeah, like we're having a good time. I'll be back house a little bit later. Sorry that I didn't check in, you know gotcha. And so then we keep talking, and then he decides to take me to dinner, and then we keep talking, right, and I got back to my brother's house at like 10 pm and you know it was.

Anjilee Ferguson:

It was like an epic first date where I was like again, I can't make this up right, like my, like, my life is a sitcom. It's kind of crazy, but yeah, so that that kind of turned into. Then I friend zoned him multiple times because I was still healing from the divorce learning how to trust myself.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And I know, bless his heart, he stuck around and now we're married. Stuck around and now we're married. But but yeah, it was. It was quite quite an interesting journey and you know, I I still look back and think, wow, how did I get married so quickly after the divorce and I mean I say so quickly, it was two years, but you know, in my mind it was still whoa, that happened faster than I thought. How could I trust another human again, right, right. But it was a lot of just self-development and prayers and learning how to trust myself again. So yeah, kind of a crazy, crazy journey.

Scott Brandley:

Life is funny sometimes yeah, yeah, so because you're both divorced like, was there baggage there or did that help you create a better bond together?

Anjilee Ferguson:

yeah, I mean, I think it's a little bit of both. Right, like we definitely were more understanding of each other because we'd both been through a divorce and so you've been able to communicate better. When maybe those things do come into the relationship with the baggage, right Of like, oh, something you said just gave me a flashback or that wasn't good. Right, like we're able to communicate openly and recognize like, okay, you're right, that wasn't the best approach, let's try this again. Right, because we can recognize, oh, hey, we have wounds, we have baggage. Things are still going to be healing years later. But yeah, I would say it's kind of a combination of both. There are times where it's like we can say, hey, sorry, I know this is my baggage coming up, but this is what I'm feeling right now. Right, but so it's helped the communication. I think so. Even with the baggage, it's created a deep bond for us to just, yeah, understand each other better and be more empathetic, sympathetic of. You know what our partner's going through.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, so do you feel like, in a way and and I don't know, I mean I haven't been divorced, but I've been almost divorced Like I was very, very close to that happening and uh, so I guess, for you know, looking at silver lining again, right, For those who have experienced divorce do you feel like you kind of have a better sense of like, like what is a little thing to be watching for and to be doing in your marriage, so that you don't get to the point where you're, you know, either shell shocked from the other person not being happy, or you guys are just, you know, grown apart, or you know what I mean Like, how does this marriage and you reacting or acting in it, how is it different from your first time around?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah for sure, 100% different. I would say I do notice the little things. It's. It's funny you ask that because, living with my parents after the divorce, you know my mom would get after my dad you've left your shoes in the living room again and I'm so sick of putting them away, right, like just the annoyances, the little annoyances, and I would just look at her and be like Mom, it really doesn like let go, you know. And so it's kind of funny that I was like pointing it out to my mom, you know. But I was like, but in the long run, like that perspective is like does it really matter if they don't pick up their shoes all the time? Sure, it's annoying, frustrating, that maybe you're the one that's always cleaning up the clutter, but you know, know, put the shoes back and then say, hey, next time can you try to remember this Right and not make it a big thing. And so I think, yeah, having the perspective of what's important.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And you know, I like to say that I did an autopsy of my marriage and kind of broke down all the areas of like, okay, yeah, where did we grow apart? How was I maybe not showing I appreciated him? What were we doing, what were the things right? And so constantly I will tell you know my new husband. I'll say, hey, we need to, you know, connect. This week we've both been super busy. We haven't had this much time like let's sit down, let's date, right, and just kind of making it a priority, because, again, relationships are a conscious choice. To write, you have to take time, you have to spend time and be present.

Anjilee Ferguson:

I think what's missing a lot nowadays with technology and social media is people just don't connect anymore. Right, they're in the same room but they're on their phones doing their own thing. They're not really connecting. And so that was kind of one of the big things that I got right, because my ex-husband it was he was always playing video games and so then I would go do my own thing and we just we never connected as a person. So it felt like we were just roommates most of the time, kind of just co-listing. And so now my husband and I, we make it a very conscious effort to be like all right, let's talk about each other's days. Our phones are put away, mealtime is when we talk, and especially when we have my stepson, you know, we do this thing called high-low buffalo, which is talk about. You know, the best part of your day, the worst part of your day, and the buffalo is a random thing. That happened, right, I love that, right, and it's just.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, so it's just a simple way to like connect as a family and it's just. It's the little conscious choices. I think and you know, having gone through a divorce has helped me see that more. I was totally blind to it in my first marriage, but now I'm aware and can see, and so really I just now I can see my divorce as a blessing Because I learned, I grew from it and I became a better person, even though it was awful and horrible, All the things. But now I can see how it blessed me and helped me become a stronger, better person.

Alisha Coakley:

I love that. It kind of it feels as though you're almost hyper, hyper focused on the prevention of things going wrong instead of hyper focused on the oh no, this is a sign that something's going to happen. That's bad Right, because I think that sometimes, like when we go through those, those rough relationships whether it's a breakup or a divorce or whatever else, or or maybe like a, a stepping away from a partnership, and then we get into to a relationship with someone else, uh, we call them red flags, right, and we're like oh no, a red flag that means we gotta, we gotta go Right, like we can't, we're, this is dangerous and we have to leave. But if we start looking for all of the almost the white flags, like the little, like surrender flags, you know the, the ones that are telling us like, hey, there's a little bit of a problem here, we need some help, you know, like we're not going to, we're not going to try to make it worse, we just need to know how to make it better.

Alisha Coakley:

It's not an issue right now, but it could lead up to one if we don't give this attention. So that's really neat that you kind of had that shift and it sounds like your, your current husband is. You know your new husband is on the same page with you. You know with hey, let's just look under the hood, let's just see where we need a little tune up here, and you know a little oil there and a little more windshield wiper here, and you know whatever else For sure.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, you know, and I think I think there's been such a stigma around mental health for so long that like, oh, if you're going to counseling, that means you're crazy or this or that. Right, but after having gone through counseling, you know now, after going through divorce, we tried couples counseling and then I did individual counseling. You know, even when things are great, that can be kind of like a tune up, right. Like go to a therapist and have them be a neutral third party that can maybe kind of call you out on well, are you really being fair here, right? Like it's not always easy to see it in yourself, but when somebody else can kind of point it out and say, well, hey, let's, let's look at it this way and kind of dissect, like I think it's a great tool as well.

Anjilee Ferguson:

And I have many couples friends that they say, yeah, we go to counseling even when things are great, because it just kind of, like you said, keeps that maintenance up and keep the awareness there, because it is so easy to just get bogged down with the day to day and like kids become their priority, work becomes a priority, right. And you know, I've read a lot of leadership books recently and it's kind of funny, and they've been that. You know, unfortunately, because of all the responsibilities and demands on our time, usually our families are the ones that give the least of us, because we're just so pride by the end of the day, right, like I've been working all day, I don't want to think, I don't want to do this, and so, yeah, making like a conscious effort to just reconnect every day, even if it is just the simple hey, let's have a dinner and talk about our days, right, even if it's that five minutes of connection, it's better than nothing and baby steps can kind of help sustain those relationships.

Alisha Coakley:

So can I ask you and if not, that's totally fine, you don't have to answer but what were some of the things that you noticed from your first marriage that you personally could have done better? You know what were those holes, I guess that were kind of sinking your ship.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, for sure. Um, well, just based on feedback from him as well, he said that I was a little bit too naggy sometimes, right, and I could recognize that. Okay, yeah, sometimes I can be a control freak, so does it matter if the dishes aren't done when I want them to be done, if they're getting done, right. Like again back to just the little annoyances and things. I think that that was one of them. But also just kind of being more conscious, like I've mentioned, of just hey, let's put our phones away and let's talk and let's connect and how are you really doing? What concerns do you have? Right, like I joke and say it's kind of like a companionship inventory, like what you do on your missions with your companion, right, like you do it with your spouse and kind of do a pulse check like hey, how did you feel appreciated this week or what can I have done to make you feel more appreciated this week? Right, because we think that we, like the way that we show love, might not be the way that our partner receives love, and so also understanding their love language a little more.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Because I remember one argument not necessarily an argument, but a kind of a disagreement when I was in counseling with my ex-husband. We were working on like the let's spend quality time together and just connect, see if there's, you know, anything we want to salvage from this relationship. And I remember saying, well, yeah, we've been around each other, but it hasn't really been quality time. You know, we've just been watching TV. That's not really connecting as a couple. And he kind of got upset and said, well, I've been doing all of these things and you just haven't noticed them. And I was like, oh, was like oh, okay, well, please tell me what those were, right.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Right, he was able to kind of speak his side, and so I think we just kind of put our blinders on sometimes and things that we know the best and don't ask enough questions. So that's something I've learned from the divorce experiences. Well, just approach it with curiosity instead of accusations, or I know what you're thinking, right, like don't assume, but ask questions and dive a little deeper so that you can understand your partner a little. And so I think in my first marriage we just had kind of surface level communication. It wasn't really the deeper connection of addressing the hard things. And so, you know, find someone who can get in those trenches with, isn't scared to have the hard conversations, and so I think those are some of the biggest takeaways of like how I could have been better and what I've learned to now apply in that's awesome.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, that's good information. I think a lot of us I mean, especially with technology. It's so easy to get back from work, you know, and just veg out, watch the TV, get you know, play on your phone or I mean Instagram reels and those kind of things they suck you down a hole right Like they do technology just pulls you away.

Scott Brandley:

It's so easy to get pulled away from your family, from your wife, and you miss opportunities. You do so I, I'm. I appreciate you being willing to share that, because that just reminds me that, oh yeah, I need it's like those reality checks you get occasionally right. You're like, oh yeah, I probably should do better at that.

Anjilee Ferguson:

So I appreciate your.

Scott Brandley:

You sharing that.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, no problem. And I mean mean, I'm guilty of it too. There's still times when I'm on my phone and I'm like, oh, I just, yeah, wasted 40 minutes on instagram, like, okay, let's put that away, let's go yes, right.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, and it's interesting because, like this is really, I think, from the 2000s, from like the 2010s era or whatever, on to now, we really live so differently than what all of our other generations have lived. A lot of the time they lived and worked farms together and they went into the family business together and you did have that time where you sat down and you had, you know, not even just dinner together, but you would eat breakfast together before everyone left, and then, if everyone left, you might have lunch separately, but then you'd come home and you'd have dinner together. And then there was, there was more routine with bedtime and it was. It was like the workday was just the workday, it was just, you know, eight hours. And then you came home and you didn't have all these other things. I know you definitely are super busy too, scott, and I would talk about this all the time between writing and the podcast and our work, you know our actual nine to fives and then church callings, and technology has made it so much easier for us to do so much more. Technology has made it so much easier for us to do so much more. And then social media makes it makes it really easy to judge ourselves for not doing as much as the other person is doing, and so we fill our calendars to the point of over exhaustion and then we have nothing left to give at the end of the day. And it's not that we're doing bad things necessarily, right Like. Sometimes we genuinely are doing all of these really good things, but it's just so much more than what any other generation had the ability to do, and so we have to try to, because it's not going away right Like. Unless there's some EMP or something that happens, technology is around for a hot minute, so we have to learn how to navigate, you know, how to work within the realms of still being, you know, connected, technology wise and still getting more done.

Alisha Coakley:

I think that's part of just in general, with Christ's second coming is that the work is going to be hastened, right Like. We hear about that all the time, and I think this is part of that work. It's that Heavenly Fathers reserved our generations and the ones that are coming after us for a time where we are called to learn how to juggle, being really actively involved, actively engaged in a good cause, right, but we have to remember that the best cause is always gonna be our families and building our relationship with them, building our relationship with Jesus Christ, with our heavenly father. And so, you know, I think, um, I think I went on a rabbit hole here, but basically I just I really love that you brought that up right, that we have to consciously make that choice, Right. I think that's kind of like the main message for today. It's just like we have to be very conscious about making the choice and when we're going to do what we're going to do, how we're going to do it, how we're going to speak to someone.

Alisha Coakley:

Um, I have a, a, I have two book suggestions and some. Some people really hate these suggestions, but I'm a cohost, so I'm going to give them. If you don't like my book suggestions, that's okay. So, uh, and this goes for men and women, they can both read these books, and I feel like it was a lot of what you were talking about. One is called um loving what is. I believe it's by Byron Katie, and another one is called the empowered wife.

Alisha Coakley:

I can't remember the author of that one, but those two books really helped me, um, in my own marriage getting through our all of our junk that we went through, um to, to see how much meaning I was giving to everything my husband was and wasn't doing, and how much meaning I was giving to everything he was saying. Like I decided that his words and his actions meant something to me, even though he did not mean them that way at all. And all of a sudden I was like wait a minute. So I I'm literally making myself angry, right, because I'm choosing to attach this meaning to this thing that he says or does, and it's almost like silly. You're like, oh, why would I do that If I get to change the meaning of it? Why wouldn't I just change the meaning and then just be happy about it or just be like oh, okay, that doesn't matter.

Alisha Coakley:

So those are listeners. Those are two good books you guys can pick up. Is loving. What is that one does have? She, she goes through some exercises with like real people. So sometimes the people will have like they'll like cuss a little bit. So just caution. I will tell you that overall I know Scott's like Alisha, but I'm just prefacing it.

Scott Brandley:

If it helps people, I'm okay with it.

Alisha Coakley:

The concept is really really good and hers is just she's. She recorded real conversations, so that's kind of what it is. It's just she's. She recorded real conversations, so that's kind of what it is. It's like you know, but the empowered wife does not have any of that and it is just mind boggling to see how much control we actually have over our feelings towards another person in a situation that we're in, and circumstances and all that kind of stuff.

Alisha Coakley:

So, anyway, and then so so pick up those three books. Go pick up, yes, no, maybe. So, loving what it is, and the hard wife, and just know that you know, heavenly father, he's got our back right, like he's gonna. He's gonna help us through all of these tricky situation chips and um and all of these relationships that we have. And even if we make a mistake, it doesn't have to be a mistake, it just has to be. Oh, I just took a different detour to get to wherever I need to go. Right, like, your divorce is not a failure, it was just a detour. You know, your prolonged single ship was not, was not you know something you did wrong or that you weren't worthy of it. It's, it's just another route that you were taking to get to the person that Heavenly Father needs you to be. So 100.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, yeah, yeah yep well, yeah, and along those lines, Alisha, if you are the listener that loves recommendations for books, part of what I did in my book yes, no, so was at the back there's a whole list of resources of books that I read that helped me process my divorce, some of the personal development books that helped me, and then also just a bunch of like activities and journal prompts of things that I did to help me process and kind of work through that as well. So if you're a hands-on person, there's also helpful resources in the books for you.

Alisha Coakley:

That's my favorite when there's resources because you get done with it and you're like well, I want more. And then where do you get more?

Anjilee Ferguson:

That's how I am, so that's why I threw it in there and thought, well, hopefully this will help somebody that's like me. I love that.

Alisha Coakley:

Very cool and I would say it sounds like it's definitely a book for anybody, so it doesn't mean that you have to be, you know? Uh, what do they call us? They call this an old maid. You remember that Because you're not married by the time that you're, you know, 20 years old and whatever. Anyway, you don't have to be in any particular status to get something out of your book. It sounds like you can definitely draw a lot of parallels and apply it to whatever situation you have.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, no, I appreciate you mentioning that because it was really cool as kind of reviews were coming in about my book. There was a a man actually, um commented and said you know, I've been married for 40 years and I had takeaways from this book and I thought oh, that's like that's high praise you know like so that's, amazing yeah, and you know, and I've had people that are christian or non-religious that have as well, and even they were like, wow, this had a takeaway for us.

Anjilee Ferguson:

So, yeah, it's kind of it appeals to, just kind of, I think, the human nature, which is that shared journey that we're all on as well. So, yeah, whether you're married, single, divorced, like, whatever your status, I think there would be something that you could take away from it as well.

Scott Brandley:

That's awesome. So do you have any last thoughts you'd like to share before we wrap things up?

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, great question. You know, I think if you're a person who has ever felt like a failure or like you're not good enough, or any of those human experiences that we all feel, you know, just give yourself grace and recognize the things that you have done, the experiences that you've had that have made you a stronger person. You know it's it's easy to get bogged down, it's easy to just blame and feel like a failure, but, you know, sit down and recognize the good that you do bring to the table, because we all have something we can offer.

Scott Brandley:

Awesome Thanks.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, thank you so much, Anjilee. This was such a good conversation. You know I always love when I don't cry on the show, Like it always makes me happy that I can just have like a good, like my cheeks are a little bit from smiling. I definitely am interested in trading some more. You know bad dating stories.

Scott Brandley:

Yes, maybe we need to have a whole like month.

Alisha Coakley:

Scott in February. Of just like stories.

Anjilee Ferguson:

There you go. You know I can probably connect it with some college students that they have some doozies as well.

Scott Brandley:

There you go. Yeah, my oldest daughter's dating and she spends a lot of time on mutual and I think it's hilarious because there's definitely types.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah like there there's.

Scott Brandley:

She's got a lot of people that have, like you know, swiped up on her or whatever, and you'll go through and there's. It's always like this guy. He's behind, there's a mountain in the background, he's got a dog next to him. There's one type. Then there's another type and he's like at the gym with you know, and he's like working out. It's like it's just so funny. You're like, oh, he's like working out. It's just so funny. You're like, oh, it's that kind of guy, it's that kind of like, it's, it's hilarious.

Anjilee Ferguson:

It's like rinse and repeat. Oh yeah, it's an interesting word out there with dating.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, I have to say, the good thing about that is at least you guys do have pictures and profile pictures and you can do some sleuthing. That is true. Back in my day I actually met my husband online through Yahoo Personals, because it was before there were any LDS, anything you know, and I didn't even have a profile picture or anything like that. So I had no idea what he looked like, I had no concept of who he was, and so it's a little I don't know. A little better, maybe, yeah for sure.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Scott Brandley:

Awesome.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Awesome.

Scott Brandley:

Well, thanks again for being on the show. It's been fun and, yeah, anybody that you know wants to learn more, go check out her book and, um, you know, thanks for being on uh with us on this journey to listen to her story today. All, all of those who listened to the podcast, make sure you go share and Julie's story and do five second missionary work. Go ahead that share button and let's get that out there so that other people can hear it.

Alisha Coakley:

Absolutely, and we will put the link to uh, Anjilee book yes, no, maybe so in the description, so you guys can quickly find that if you need book. Yes, no, maybe so in the description, so you guys can quickly find that if you need to. Also, we just want to thank our listeners Like, seriously, guys, you're the best, we love having you, we love hearing from you, we love your comments, we love your outreaches. Please make life easier for Scott and I and don't make us come chase you down. Let this be the only chase down that we have to do and just write to us.

Alisha Coakley:

Let us know what your story is, what can be shared, you know, with the world, what kind of light can you spread? Um, especially in in terms of sharing the gospel, sharing the love of Christ with others, sharing, like, positive perspective and, um, and and just really like with Anjilee, just some really good actions that we can take. I think sometimes, um, it's the good actions that we can take. I think sometimes it's the little things that make the biggest difference in life, and when you come on and you guys share your stories, you have no idea how many little things from your story will inspire other people to be able to really change their lives. So don't be chickens Go ahead.

Alisha Coakley:

You guys can head over to our page latterdaylightscom. There's a form at the bottom that you can fill out or you can comment, let us know, email us, whatever else, but definitely let us know what your favorite part of Anjilee story was today. And you know what I'm just going to say. I'm going to put this out there. Share some of your horror stories, like we would love to hear. Share some of your horror stories, like we would love to hear.

Alisha Coakley:

You're not alone. Yeah, like what was one of your favorite bad stories, bad dating stories. Are you, you know? Are you a Scott where you have, you know, issues with nostrils and shoes, or You're never going to live that one down, Scott.

Anjilee Ferguson:

I know we're going to get I put it I made it public.

Scott Brandley:

I put it out there, that's true, well.

Alisha Coakley:

I can vouch for Scott he is a much different person than what it sounds like he used to be he's figured it out and he's got himself a great wife, and we love Darla, so well.

Anjilee Ferguson:

Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciated it. This was a fun conversation, so thank you, it really was.

Alisha Coakley:

All right, guys. Well, that's all we have for today. So just be sure, like I said, to share this story. You know, share, share comments, get in your inbox and let us know what your story is. If you guys would like to be a guest, we'd love to hear from you. Hope you guys have a wonderful week Until next Sunday. We'll see you later.

Scott Brandley:

Take care, bye-bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Scott Brandley

Host
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Alisha Coakley

Co-host