LDS Podcast "Latter-Day Lights" - Inspirational LDS Stories

How Faith-Driven Hypnotherapy Heals the Subconscious Mind: Cali Coates' Story - Latter-Day Lights

• Scott Brandley and Alisha Coakley

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What if you had the power to better understand your emotions?

From an inexplicable fear of intimacy, mother, wife, and "Missionary of the Mind" Cali Coates received a calling to tap into the transformative power of hypnotherapy. This journey not only allowed her to uncover the root of all her traumas, but also enabled her to positively influence her subconscious thoughts, fostering deep and lasting healing.

Amid her struggles, Cali’s life-changing session influenced her to become a licensed hypnotherapist herself, with the goal of helping others heal while bringing them closer to God. Cali shares how she navigated the delicate balance between therapeutic practices and spiritual beliefs, exploring the Church’s perspective on hypnosis, and the potential it holds for treating deeply rooted emotional and psychological dilemmas.

Cali’s compelling journey inspires a profound discussion of the connection between mental health and faith. Her story urges us to be open to the possibilities of transforming our own lives through faith-led therapeutic practices, encouraging a deeper engagement with both personal challenges and spiritual commitments.

*** Please SHARE Cali's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***

To WATCH this episode, visit: https://youtu.be/5pB9hQA27VU

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To WATCH the Rat Park Experiment, visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNeSkyHccmo

To FOLLOW Cali's Instagram, visit: https://www.instagram.com/intrinsic_sunshine_hypnosis/

To FOLLOW Cali's Facebook, visit: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554800282118&mibextid=LQQJ4d

To BOOK a session with Cali, email: ccintrinsicsunshine@gmail.com

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Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.

#LatterDayLights #ChristianStories 

Scott Brandley:

Hi everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.

Alisha Coakley:

And I'm Alisha Coakley. Every member of the church has a story to share, one that can instill faith, invite growth and inspire others.

Scott Brandley:

On today's episode we're going to hear how the Lord placed others in one woman's path to help her fully accept the atonement and draw closer to God. Welcome to Latter-day Lights. To Latter-day Lights. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Latter-day Lights. We're so glad you're here with us today. We're really excited to introduce our special guest, Cali Coates.

Cali Coates:

Cali, welcome to the show. Thank you.

Alisha Coakley:

You're welcome. I'm so excited. Cali is one of my elko friends and um, I don't remember. Did you reach out to us? Did I reach out to you? How did that happen?

Cali Coates:

I don't remember oh, I think both you reached out. But then I replied and was like, hey, yeah, I gotta I have some stories in my purse.

Alisha Coakley:

I knew you did. I knew you did, no man, so it's so good to have you on the show today. I told you I was really going to bring I really am going to bring this up. We're having issues with the way that we look today. My hair is flat and flippy like the early 2000s. Poor Cali is sunburned. Scott is red, despite the four lights that he has in front of him. I don't know. So we're here.

Scott Brandley:

We're here, just yeah, I mean, this is not good.

Alisha Coakley:

Cali had glasses. She can't really see anything on the screen right now, but her glasses are glaring. It's just like a whole thing. So we're good, we're just, we're rolling with it. We're just going to. We're going to go with it today. If you are distracted by all of this, just turn off your video and just listen. Perfect, oh man. But enough about us. What about you? Miss Cali, do you want to introduce yourself to our audience?

Cali Coates:

Sure, I am Cali Coates. I am from Elko Nevada, and my husband, trent and I have been married for 16 years. We have four amazing kids from ages 15, I almost said 14, from 15 to 5. So we're busy with all sorts of life happenings and we are embarking on another journey of building another house by ourselves. And here we go.

Cali Coates:

Our kids were little last time and this time they're big, so hopefully we get more work out of them.

Cali Coates:

That would be nice, but it will be fun, a good family, learning crying them, that would be nice, but it will be fun.

Cali Coates:

Good family learning, crying experience.

Scott Brandley:

It will be good. Yeah, so did you build your first house.

Cali Coates:

Yeah, the house that we live in now, we did build it.

Cali Coates:

Eight years, no, seven years ago, I think Seven years ago. So we've lived in it for seven years now, yeah, and so we bought more property, um, out farther in the middle of nowhere than we are right now, um, and yeah, so it's good, it's good, here we go build an extra room for me for when the zombie apocalypse takes place.

Alisha Coakley:

I need I know I might bring most of my family. I don don't know. We'll see which kids annoy me.

Cali Coates:

You don't want to come back. I don't know, you don't want to come back to Nevada really Listen.

Alisha Coakley:

I don't, you know, no, no, but we would like to have you back.

Cali Coates:

How about that?

Alisha Coakley:

It might be a really good place to be during the apocalypse. I'm just saying Small community, if it happens, happens. Everybody knows how to protect themselves and grow the crops and and nobody else wants to go that far out into the desert.

Scott Brandley:

so instant protection, I don't know I don't even think zombies want to go out there, right, they're gonna be so bored.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, they're gonna be like. Why is they drush everywhere? I don't know.

Cali Coates:

Let's turn around we can't even grow anything out here. We'll trick them thinking that you can't grow anything. Well, in some spots you can, in some spots you can't. So yeah, that's true. But, yeah, we are going to be busy this next year, but it'll be good, it'll all pay off and hopefully we'll have some good family time together doing it. And yeah, it'll be good.

Scott Brandley:

When I was a little kid, my dad built a house and I have good memories of it. That was a fun time. I'm sure your kids love it.

Cali Coates:

It's really sentimental, like trying to program them to know that we're leaving this house, because we had three kids when we built this house, one since we've lived in it, so she doesn't know any different, and so it's kind of hard for her to grasp. She just keeps telling me I just want to take my animals, I'm like. Well, the animals will go.

Cali Coates:

Everything in the house will go, just the house but, she's having a hard time connecting all the, but I think it'll be good, it'll be good, and you guys have a lot of animals.

Alisha Coakley:

You're very oh, funny Cowboy centric farmer. Yeah, you guys got. How? What kind of animals do you guys have? Horses, I know.

Cali Coates:

Oh, yeah, yeah, we have horses and goats and pigs and cows, cats, dogs. What else do we have? I feel like I'm forgetting something. Oh, lots of chickens.

Alisha Coakley:

Lots of birds, lots of birds.

Cali Coates:

Yeah.

Cali Coates:

Funny farm for sure, but luckily my kids sell animals and so before winter most of the birds will be gone, the cows will be gone, the pigs will be gone.

Alisha Coakley:

So we downsize, so can't there you go. Is it ffa? Is that what it is?

Cali Coates:

yeah and uh, junior livestock and ffa yeah very cool yep very busy life and rodeo stuff and we rodeo on top of it. Yeah, the kids rodeo dad and I don't rodeo anymore. We used to, but we don't anymore okay.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, we don't need a nap after hearing about your lifestyle, so you make us all tired. You should come with me for a minute, it's all good? No, it's good awesome, well, super cool. So we're gonna we're gonna pass over the time to you and we're gonna let you go ahead and tell us where your story begins today.

Cali Coates:

Okay, so my story begins. A few years ago, I had a triggering memory of something that had happened to me when I was younger. Of something that had happened to me when I was younger and it was affecting my intimate life with my husband and I, and so him and I worked through it a little bit. We had done a lot of different courses through some LDS, sex therapists and things like that, and it just wasn't getting to the core of what had happened. He, I talked to him through it and he was very patient and understanding and I asked him. He asked me if he wanted, if I would like, a blessing. He gave me a blessing and we worked through some forgiveness with this person who actually ended up being the offender, and I really thought that I had totally forgiven and moved forward so fast forward.

Cali Coates:

Years later I was called as the Relief Society president in my ward and I had a sweet sister bring me a book and she said I think that you would really enjoy reading this. It will help you with a lot of sisters in our ward. And so I okay, yeah, let you know, I'm all about learning. So I started reading the book and I was so intrigued by it and I told my husband oh, this is my calling. This is my other calling in life outside the church. This is my calling, um. I put it off for like a whole nother year and prayed about it randomly as time went on and by two years I was like, okay, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, um, and so what that is is hypnotherapy, um. And so I, after I prayed about it and got the answer that that's what I should be doing, um, I prayed about different schools that I should attend to become a um, a licensed hypnotherapist. And I found this school, um. And to make that story a little shorter, before we invested money to go back to school and my time, pulling away from my family and stuff, we Trent my husband. He said why don't you go have a session first before we invest all this time and money into it? So I found an individual and did a session with him.

Cali Coates:

He asked me a few questions in the very beginning when I first met with him, and I told him that I just couldn't have sex, that I couldn't. I couldn't do it. There was something inside me. I couldn't do it, um, and years before it was fine, because I was having babies and I was. You know, there was a purpose for it. We were newlyweds having babies. There was purposes for it, and now that we've been married for 16 years, um, the purpose of it is to be intimate, right? Um, and I struggled with that. He asked me a few questions and I was like I don't know if it's intimacy, you know. And he asked me a few more questions, and one of the questions that he asked me was can you sit and hold your kids? And I thought back and I was like no, I can't. Even when they were little, I could hold them until they were asleep, or nurse them, and as soon as I was done, they were in their crib. I just couldn't. For some reason, I couldn't make myself do it. I wanted to, but I couldn't do it. Um, and so he was like okay, the problem is not sex, the problem is intimacy. And I was like oh, that's interesting.

Cali Coates:

So we went ahead and went through with my session and in this particular way of doing hypnotherapy and it's also called rapid transformational therapy, so it's therapy in hypnosis. So in hypnosis you can speak with the subconscious mind. So it, when he was speaking to my subconscious mind, um, we. I had three scenes come up and those. The first scene was um, I couldn't hear anything.

Cali Coates:

It was really interesting. I couldn't. I mean I couldn't see anything. Sorry, I couldn't see anything, but I could hear things, and I could hear like motions and a lot of people going around me and stuff. And turns out what it was is that I was in my mom's womb and I felt disconnected and knowing now that I, when my mom was pregnant with me, most of her pregnancy was in, she spent in the hospital with pneumonia. I'm the youngest of five kids and so I think back as a mom thinking, oh my gosh, where was her mind? Her mind was at home with those other four kids, probably not worried, knowing that I was safe in the womb and that the doctors were taking care of her, but I felt disconnected.

Cali Coates:

And so the second scene was I was like three or four years old and I was getting dropped off at the babysitter because my mom worked full time and it triggered the emotion that I wasn't safe. My mom, bless her heart, didn't, didn't care enough about me to stay home with me. That's what my little three or four year old brain perceived right as an adult.

Cali Coates:

I know that that has nothing to do with why she was dropping me off at the babysitter Right. And my third scene was I was being sexually abused by somebody who shouldn't have been sexually abused. Well, nobody should be sexually abused by anybody, but by somebody who should have been caring for me rather than touching me that way, and so what happens is our brains. It's not the experience that we go through in life, it's the emotion that we feel in the experience.

Alisha Coakley:

Right.

Cali Coates:

And so my brain went oh, this is intimacy. No, no, no, no. We're not safe with intimacy. You felt disconnected from your mom. In the womb, you felt like your mom didn't love you, she was dropping you off at the babysitter, and now this other person that should be protecting you and caring for you is doing things that shouldn't be happening and that's not safe. We don't do intimacy. It's not safe. And so your brain, even as you get older, goes back to what's familiar. Whether it's right or wrong or indifferent, that's where your brain goes, and so my brain, all of these years, has been keeping me safe from intimacy. So, um, through my experience, so in in the, in hypnosis and the rapid transformational therapy in hypnosis, we were able to go back to each one of those scenes and give those a different meaning right.

Cali Coates:

And so now intimacy is not something to be scared of. I know in my adult brain now that intimacy is very important and that it's something that we need in marriage to feel close, right, and our Heavenly Father has asked us to be close with our spouses. And so I felt so many different mixed emotions because of that, because I was like, well, I don't feel close, but I could tell that there was something I kept telling my husband it has nothing to do with you.

Cali Coates:

I am attracted to you, I love you. There's nobody else. You, I am attracted to you, I love you. There's nobody else in your brain, in my brain, it was just creating a wall that would not allow that to happen, because I wasn't safe in that moment in those three instances.

Cali Coates:

So now, after reframing it and everything, everything is great, life is grand. Um, I don't have to. I don't have that worry anymore. But the one thing that I told my um, my hypnotherapist, my rapid transformational therapist was I have never felt so free. Luckily, he was LDS too, and so when I was I didn't know that at the time, but after conversing with him, I told him.

Cali Coates:

I said the most intense thing about all of that was after my session. I finally felt like I had totally been able to forgive and utilize the atonement. I thought I had done it before. I thought I had done it before, but because of the way that our brain works and holds on to those things to keep us safe a lot most of the time it's to keep us safe I hadn't. I hadn't fully utilized the atonement. I was sitting there at his feet, but I had never fully given it to him. Sitting there at his feet, but I had never fully given it to him. And so I just think there's so many, there's so many people that are put into our life and our path and to help us through those things. Whether you do it this way or that way. There's no right or wrong way, but there's ways and we don't need to feel stuck. We don't need to feel like there's nothing out there that can help us.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, and you know it's. It's interesting because when you first talked to me about it, I like had these little like oh no, like I remember you know hearing as a kid, right, all the time, like like hypnosis is bad, you don't do it in the church. And so I actually had to go look it up because I was like you know what, like I'm not going to go based on all the things I remember, right, I'm going to actually see, like what does the church handbook say? And um, and this is what it specifically says. It says for some people, hypnosis am I in the right place? Yeah, it says for some people, hypnosis can compromise. Agency Members are discouraged from participating in hypnosis for purposes of demonstration or entertainment. Right.

Alisha Coakley:

Then it goes on to say the use of hypnosis for treating diseases or mental disorders should be determined in consultation with competent medical professionals. So I was like, oh okay, so it's like, don't get up on stage and quack like a duck, and you know what I mean. That kind of stuff not cool, for fun and for whatever that's that's discouraged against. But when you're using it for treating medical conditions, whether it's diseases which I thought was really interesting, right, or mental, mental, you know, mental disorders or mental issues. Um, you know in that sense that for you know, in that sense that for me, gave me so much peace. I was like, okay, like the Lord is is seeing that, yes, though, this is something that could be used in addition to traditional talk therapy or any type of other modalities that that kind of help to heal trauma and and or past experiences or help us to kind of recreate the meaning that we give to things in our head. And it's interesting.

Alisha Coakley:

I just had this conversation with my mom today just about how much meaning we give to things and how the meaning we give to things is really what causes the problems in our life.

Alisha Coakley:

It's not the things themselves, it's not the people, it's what we believe about the things and the people. It's what we believe about the words that they're saying or the things that they're doing right. And I was like when you change the meaning, all of a sudden you take back that power. And it's not like he made me mad or you know, I can't do that because I'm triggered by it or whatever else. Like I'm not saying triggers aren't for real, but also there's so much in our brain, like you said, that is there because heavenly father gave us a way to protect ourselves so we can get through these things. But he doesn't want us to stay stuck in that victim mentality and in that powerlessness, right Like. So I love that that gave me a little bit of peace on the hypnotherapy thing, because I just didn't know, right Like, I just assumed it was like, yeah, and it's scary.

Cali Coates:

It is scary for a lot of people Once you meet with somebody, and I always say, if you're going to do it, pray about it, pray that you're with the right person, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray about everything.

Alisha Coakley:

And see if you're ready, because sometimes people aren't ready for healing, and that's okay, whether it's again, whether it's traditional talk therapy or medication or hypnotherapy or any of that kind of stuff. Sometimes we're just not really there yet and we need a little bit more work beforehand.

Cali Coates:

Yeah, and there's steps right, like because once you, um once you start unraveling things a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more.

Alisha Coakley:

it's like an onion you know like each layer, Like a big seed onion, makes you cry Like I don't want to go there.

Cali Coates:

And it's okay, though. That just means you're healing. That means you're healing, and I, you know, everybody has an onion, everybody does. And so it's just the matter of how and when you want to do it, and you know it. It can help everybody, but it isn't for everybody in their own, in their own respectful, you know, respective minds Like, and it's okay if you don't want to do it, but for me, for me, I don't know what life would look like right now if I wouldn't have done it.

Cali Coates:

Because, I mean, let's face it, if you're not doing that in your marriage things are hard sometimes. And yeah, and I mean I'm not married to somebody that would leave, obviously, or he probably would have left a long time ago, but I mean some people, some people aren't patient like my husband. So or vice versa. It could be a wife, you know it could be the other way around, and all because of emotions that you know I tied to instances in my life were were blocking that and it was just to keep me safe, my, my smart little infant and my smart little three, four year old, and the other instance was when I was nine.

Cali Coates:

My brain wasn't fully developed then to understand that that wasn't something that would happen the rest of my life.

Alisha Coakley:

Right yeah.

Cali Coates:

And and the instance was only one time, it wasn't a repeated thing, and so it's like one time something like that happens, I I was like, oh nope, this isn't safe, I can never, be put in this position me. It helped me in my calling um a lot it helped me be.

Cali Coates:

Yeah, um, just by knowing how your mind works and knowing why people make the choices that they make, say it was a welfare case, knowing that that person didn't just choose to keep asking for help or didn't choose to be a victim in their depression or their anxiety that there was a reason why their brain was keeping them. There was very oh, it's gonna make me cry and I'm a crier. Was very oh, it's gonna make me cry and I'm a crier.

Cali Coates:

It was very heartwarming to be able to be empathetic to sisters and even to their husbands, when their husbands were going through things that they would share with me, to be more empathetic and to be able to help them understand that it's not their fault, that there is hope, and just you know your mind is so dang powerful but you don't have to stay there. Don't stay there. Heavenly Father does not want us to stay there.

Cali Coates:

He doesn't want us to, and so there's people put in our lives, whether it's a hypnotherapist, whether it's a talk therapist, whether it's whatever. There's people there to help us through that with training and with you know, licensing and stuff. You know it's don't stay don't stay there, don't stay don't stay there.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, Our brains are interesting tools. So I was talking to my uncle who's who does therapy? He doesn't I don't think he does hypnotherapy, but I was telling him that I would get panic attacks when I would drive on the freeway and he's like, why, Like, tell freeway? And he's like, why, Like, tell me more? And and it ended up being that the panic attacks weren't from me driving, they were from a business deal I did several years ago. That went bad and I had my first panic attack while I was driving but it wasn't related to driving.

Scott Brandley:

But it was yeah, you're right. But then every time I drove after that, I would feel that panic coming back and I was thinking that it was related to driving, when it had nothing to do with driving. And when he explained that to me, I'm like, oh okay.

Cali Coates:

I get it now. Yeah, but your brain, because your first panic attack was in the car. Driving your brain, whoop, driving's not safe. Nope, nope, nope, driving's not safe. We're not doing this, we don't want to go there again. Your brain is so stinking powerful and the thoughts that you, the thoughts that you, um think, create your blueprint. So if you're like, oh, I'm having a bad day, I'm having a bad day, this day is horrible, then that's what's going to happen You're going to have a bad day, it's going to be horrible.

Alisha Coakley:

Oh, okay, we have to find evidence that we're having a bad day. You said we're having a bad day. We're going to find all the evidence you're the.

Cali Coates:

Every thought you create, or every thought you have, creates your blueprint, and everything that happens to you creates an emotion. Right? I don't know if you guys have seen the movie inside out too, but it is amazing. I, I, you gotta watch it, scott, it was so good. I was sitting in the theater with my little five-year-old and I'm like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh all those little balls balls that once you see it, you'll understand All those little balls and memories.

Cali Coates:

That's your subconscious mind. It's your subconscious mind and all those are stored. All those little balls are stored in your subconscious mind and create either safety or punishment or prioritization, Like they all create something in your life. It's pretty, your brain is just. It's so amazing, it's so powerful.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, yeah.

Alisha Coakley:

It's so powerful.

Scott Brandley:

So my this being a typical therapy, reminds me of my wife, her mom. Whenever she would get pregnant, she would break out in hives and she was like crawling out of her skin. She went to a hypnotherapist and he cured her of that.

Cali Coates:

Wow, you can't say the word cured.

Scott Brandley:

Okay, maybe not cured, but she didn't have hives, right.

Cali Coates:

Because if you say the word cured, you're in trouble in the United States they can say that in the UK.

Alisha Coakley:

Really. They legally can't say cured.

Cali Coates:

You will go to jail.

Alisha Coakley:

We can say cured, because we're not licensed hypnotherapists.

Cali Coates:

But a hypnotherapist. If they tell you that they can cure something, you might want to go the other direction. For me it's in my code of ethics. I can't say that kind of stuff.

Alisha Coakley:

That's interesting I just't say I can't say that kind of stuff. Wow, yeah, that's interesting.

Scott Brandley:

Well, I just thought that was really interesting. You know we're telling that story.

Cali Coates:

Yeah, but it really does. It can help with so many, so many different things and, like I said, even just me having the training and my calling, I think it was perfect timing. I think it was perfect timing for me to go back to school to learn those things.

Alisha Coakley:

What was the name of this book? I need to write it down. I don't know what it.

Cali Coates:

I don't know what the name of it is because, I didn't end up going with that it. That is another school. I didn't end up going with that one.

Alisha Coakley:

Something just didn't feel right to me, but we can have a conversation, but it just kind of opened up your idea.

Cali Coates:

But it opened up my mind of hey, like, and, and why am I getting this prompting of this? Is I need to do this? You know, I think okay I was gonna say and a lot of it is is that, um, you know, like when you're in, when you're a relief society president, you get here a lot of things. You get a lot of things coming to you. You have sisters with addictions, whether it's um alcohol, drugs, porn like and, and so many times we talk about only the men with a porn addiction and there's plenty of women as well.

Cali Coates:

Um, and so all any addiction, any mental health, like you just hear so much in that calling, Um, and as Relief Society presidents now, it that our calling is to help and guide right through the spirit. And having that extra training and then relying on the spirit more, um, I think helps me a lot in my calling and I am so grateful that I had done it while I was the president.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, it's um. It kind of makes me think of oh gosh, it was. I believe it was in one of the older conference talks when President Nelson talked about how sometimes during these surgeries he would just see in his mind's eye like what needed to be done next. You know, like there would be a complication or something and he would just kind of like the spirit would just reveal to him what to do next. But I loved it and I can't remember if it was like specifically said in that talk or if it was just the like, the feeling or the thoughts or the impressions that I got during it. But I remember thinking how much more sense those things he was being shown made to him because he did the studying beforehand, right, right. So like he could have been shown all this stuff and you know he could have been like this stuff and you know he could have been like, okay, I guess I'll do this and I guess I'll do this and just, you know, blindly trusted it. But because he saw it and then he also could back like, oh, yeah, okay, my knowledge that I learned about the heart and the body, and then all of this makes sense and he could have more confidence, going forward with those procedures, and I think that's kind of where we're at like, especially in in this day and age, with us coming closer and closer to that second coming.

Alisha Coakley:

I feel like we are called to heal, to heal ourselves, to help to heal others, to help to heal the world, the church, you know, like any brokenness, any dependencies.

Alisha Coakley:

I feel like we're really, really called to build up a very self-reliant generation, and that is, in every way, shape and form, you know, inside and outside, health, our spiritual beings, all of that kind of stuff, and I think the only way that we can truly do that is if we continue to learn about how God designed us, inside and outside and the world. You know, like we need to learn about everything that's in our outside world, everything we're putting in our body, the way that our brains function, the way that our systems function, and I think that when we do that, then heavenly father has a lot more to work with with us. That helps us to know moving forward. Hey, this path of healing, this is right and this will work like this is something that is going to be powerful and I know if I can do it and I can get over doing all of this stuff. You know, now I can stand as a Testament of how powerful the Lord is, you know, and I just love it.

Cali Coates:

And I also think that Satan plays on that too. I think the adversary plays on that a lot too, because he, if he knows that you have a panic attack when you're driving and that creates doubt in yourself, then he's like, oh yeah, I'm going to step my game up. But if you were able to go in and change that reaction of of you know why you have the panic attack, then you're not going to have the panic attack Whether you're in your car, you're not in your car, it's not going to be there. You're going to be indifferent to it. Um, and and those. I think that that's.

Cali Coates:

I always said that that's where Satan, that's the only thing Satan can get to me. Now he can't because I've taken care of it, but that's the only place that Satan can get to me is between me and my husband, because he knows he can't get to me anywhere else. Um, and now that's not even. It doesn't exist. Um, but I think that you know I was ready. I was ready, I had I'd been telling you know, my husband, for years. I don't know what it is, I don't and I can, I could feel it. I could feel it in my brain. That's what was so intriguing to me is that I could feel that it was just like nope, nope, not going there, you know, and and I think that just over time, you're triggered by things right, you're triggered by things. But I think one of the most powerful things, also in my session of healing, was that I got to confront my abuser.

Cali Coates:

And I would never confront my abuser in person. I just I wouldn't do it. Wow user in person. I just I wouldn't do it, um, but because I'm still around that person, I feel much less weight. Obviously, I'm still cautious.

Cali Coates:

I'm still, you know, protective, um, because you can't erase the memory, right, you don't. You don't get rid of the memory, you get rid of the meaning of the memory embedded into your brain. Um, you reframe it, and so, by being able to confront that person and my mom for dropping me off at the babysitter, um, even even my conversations with her have been able to be in a different light now, like.

Cali Coates:

I don't feel as like gosh mom. You know, like I did before, where now I'm like. Hey, you know what I have to drop my kid off at the babysitter sometimes too. That doesn't mean I'm a bad mom.

Alisha Coakley:

Right.

Cali Coates:

And my kid might scream and cry too, but I can now I can have that conversation with her to reiterate that it's not more important that her than her. You know what I mean like and breaking those cycles, those generations, generational, generational cycles of our thought process too, is pretty and you can, you, you can, you can do that all once you find out why, why we do the things that we do, why you react the way you react in a certain situation anxiety, depression, all of it. Anxiety is a good thing.

Cali Coates:

I know the world.

Cali Coates:

I was actually just listening to a different session or a different interview with you guys actually just listening to a different session or a different interview with you guys and they were talking about anxiety and it's such. I tell people this all the time change your way of thinking. Anxiety is a good thing. Anxiety is your physical reaction to try to get your attention to take care of something. Your panic attack.

Cali Coates:

It's a physical reaction trying to get you to say, hey, I need you to take care of this so we can move on with our life yeah, it's your body throwing a tantrum or your brain throwing a tantrum, yeah?

Cali Coates:

and it's a good thing, it's not a negative thing. Yeah, it's a good thing to give you an option to say, oh okay, I do need to get in there, I do need to take care of this. Like, let's find out why I, why I'm reacting this way, what's causing this panic attack, what's causing the anxiety? You know, let's take care of it before it gets to depression. It's a good. It's a good thing.

Cali Coates:

It really is.

Scott Brandley:

That's a really good insight. So I have a question for you yeah, what like okay. Question for you. Um, yeah, what like okay? One. There is a stigma of around hypnotherapy. I think people might be afraid of it. I do appreciate you talking about the. You know the, what the church says on that. Alisha, that's good information. How do you, how do people, overcome that stigma? And then can you also like walk us through what a session looks like, or or the process?

Cali Coates:

Yeah. So first, like I said earlier, pray, you need to pray about it.

Cali Coates:

You need to pray about if it's right for you and you need to pray about who you're seeing to go through the hypnotherapy with, because not everybody's created equal and they might be doing it for the wrong reason. Every time I have a client, I pray before I even get on camera with the client to make sure that I'm doing what Heavenly Father has put me here to do, and that helps me with inspiration throughout the session. And so when I have a client come to me, they come to me and we have a chit-chat. First they fill out some paperwork to let me know things about their childhood, if there was any trauma, how it's affecting their life now. There's a list of things that they can highlight to decide what they want to work on. We have a conversation about what they want to work on and then we decide okay, we either are a good fit or we're not, and I refer you out to somebody that is a better fit if I'm not the right person for you, and then after that, then we schedule an actual session, and so what happens in that session is I put you into hypnosis, um, and then I guide you back to a memory, and I have certain verbiage that I use Um, and we guide, I guide you back to a memory and your brain. It's so cool, your brain just comes up with it just like that. And I do it over Zoom or I do it in person and I will click my fingers and that memory will come right into your brain. And then I'll ask you what you're feeling, seeing and experiencing in that scene. And I listen for code words and I write them down. And I listen for code words and I write them down, um, and then we go through that. We do that three different times or sometimes four, and then there's different tools that I use for each person that I see. It just depends on what comes up Um, so like in in my session, because I did have a herder or a, an offender, um or an abuser, whatever, whatever word you want to use, um, I was able to go back and and you know talk to tell them what that's done in my life, how that's created problems in my life, in my marriage, and how they had no business doing that and how I mean doing that and how I mean.

Cali Coates:

Sometimes cuss words come out and, because it affects you so deeply, um and um, and then if it's an abuser, they don't get a word back. But, like in my mom's case, um, I was able to tell her how that made me feel, that it made me feel like her job was more important than me. But then she also through hypnosis it's so amazing that your brain can do this but through hypnosis you can switch roles and my mom was able to tell me, honey, I was doing what I had to do. We needed the money I needed to work. It had nothing to do with how much I loved you, you know and told me everything that she needed to tell me. And then I was able to say I forgive you, um and whatever I don't remember the exact words that I used, but um and then um, and then, after that's done, then you go into like a reframe where you get rid of all that, like it's kind of like a, it's kind of like a weed.

Cali Coates:

You go in and you pull all the information out. You pull it all out, all the negative words, pull it out, get rid of it and then you plant new positive things in to fill in the hole. And then, after a session, I send you with a recording that you listen to for 21 days. It's called the transformation recording and it's all positive, all positive things that have it's specific to you. It's not a generalized thing. It's all specific to you what your goals are, what you want to change. You know, like, what life would look like without that um in your brain or it, you know, kind of clouding over your vision or your emotions or whatever, and you listen to that for 21 days, because it takes 21 days to create a new habit. And then you go on your merry little way and sometimes, if it's like addiction um, addiction and weight take a little more. Those are pretty deeply rooted things and it takes like three sessions. Otherwise one. One session, you're done, you're on your way.

Scott Brandley:

Wow.

Cali Coates:

In my in my case, it was only one session to do to deal with that now, because that uncovered another layer, but it wasn't a deeper layer, like I felt like that was my deepest layer, but then I was like, oh, I kind of need help on goals. So then I had another session to help me get rid of what was blocking me from achieving my goals.

Cali Coates:

And so sometimes you have more than one session, but it's not more than one session to do with that one issue. And kids, oh my gosh, teens, teens are incredible. I've been able to help a couple of teens that have struggled with anger and anxiety and things like that Suicidal, like it's. It's pretty cool, it's pretty cool.

Alisha Coakley:

I like didn't even think of that. But yeah, teenagers definitely need I mean children, you know like I could see how that could be like a really big need for well, and you know, the church really encourages us to listen to wholesome music and to have good friends and things like that.

Cali Coates:

And and now, like I knew that that was good, I knew that that was a good thing all this time, right, like you know why they us to, but I didn't really know why, why you know what I mean. And so now, knowing that all of that is giving you messages even when you're sleeping if you're listening to music when you're sleeping, your subconscious mind is still listening.

Cali Coates:

So if you're, listening to music that's not real uplifting, or talking about this or that that's not positive. Your subconscious mind is creating pictures, and those pictures create the emotions, right, and so then the emotion creates the all the things. Um, but that's why they tell our teens to, you know, have good friends to listen to wholesome music, because we're so suggestible. And so that's why, praying before you see a hypnotherapist or any anybody that's going to work with you anything?

Cali Coates:

Um it's such a good idea to go to your heavenly father because he knows you personally to tell you if that's the right person for you, that doesn't mean that they're not good. If it's not the right person for you, it just means they're not the right person for you.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, well, it was interesting. Oh go ahead Scott.

Scott Brandley:

Are there any topic Like can it be any topic or any problem that you're having, or is it specific things?

Cali Coates:

No, it can be anything. Anything. Things no, it can be anything. Anything, Um, there's, I mean, I have a list, but that list goes on and on and on and on and on Right, and so it can be anywhere from addiction, um, to weight loss, to motivation, to meeting your goals, to public speaking. I mean it, it PTSD, it, anxiety, depression. It's all over the place. All over the place. Anything that you feel like is holding you back relates back to an emotion, and the cool thing about addiction is the opposite of addiction is connection, and so most addicts go to their drug of choice or their drink of choice or whatever, because they haven't felt connected at some point in their life. Most of the time, it's when they're young. It's when they're young and they feel that connection.

Cali Coates:

There's a really cool YouTube video it's called Rat Park on YouTube that if you guys want to link that, it for addiction. It's really cool.

Alisha Coakley:

It's really eyeopening. Okay, we'll do that for sure. So it's it's interesting, cause I um, so I did. I did a session with Cali. I was like, what is this all about? I want to learn more about it. You know, I needed to kind of have an idea. And um, and so I was really. I was really scared at first because I was like I don't know. One, I was scared what if I can't be hypnotized? And two, what if I can be hypnotized? I was scared.

Cali Coates:

I mean it's a real.

Alisha Coakley:

it's a real fear Like I don't know what I'm going to say, what I'm going to do, like what is this going to mess things up? And in all of the other healing stuff that I've taken part in over there, I just didn't know. I was so unsure, I wasn't, um, I wasn't feeling like hesitant, it was just, I just didn't know, and I hate not knowing things Right, and so, uh, so I did pray about it and I had my husband giving a blessing beforehand and everything, and everything just felt like so, like okay, nope, like this is a good thing for you to experience, Alisha. And and I thought it was so interesting because when I was under that, that hypnosis, I was completely aware of everything around me. Like I didn't even feel like I was under hypnosis, but then, as you were guiding the conversation, there would just be things that come up and I was like what? Like it was almost like wait, what did I say? Why am I saying that? It was kind of like this, like I was there and I knew it was me and I knew what I was saying was true, but it wasn't anything that I had to think about to say, it was just like it just came.

Alisha Coakley:

And it was so interesting to me because I don't mind, I'm an open book, right. I don't mind, I'm an open book, right. So, like, my whole thing is um is as hardworking and dedicated as I have always been. I have always had a problem with my relationship with money. Like, I've always just undervalued myself. I've always taken the lower paying jobs in business. I always just give everything away for free. I just want to help people. I don't want to take advantage of them, and I kept thinking, oh, this is because I I, you know, we grew up in the less ideal neighborhoods. I grew up kind of in the ghetto and, uh, you know like, and I and I thought, oh my, my parents, they loved going garage selling and thrifting and and so it's because I just saw their their relationship with money. You know, like, I in my head I'm thinking this is what it is.

Alisha Coakley:

But then when we got went through it, it was just so different than what I thought it was going to be. Um, one of the things that came up surprisingly was the fact that I didn't have a name for two weeks, right, and I've joked about this all the time, like I've shared the story, I think on the podcast before, where when I was born, my parents couldn't agree on a name for me, so I went two weeks without a name after I was born and I was just known as the shoehard baby you know my maiden name. And then, when I was finally given a name, the one of the nurses that I went for a pediatric checkup for um suggested combining two names together that my, my parents had thought of. So even still, it's not like my parents were like, I feel like just some random nurse named me. You know what I mean.

Alisha Coakley:

And it was so interesting, how, how, in my head I I took that as I'm not worthy, right, I'm not even worthy of my parents giving me a name. And so all of a sudden now I'm not worthy of getting paid more, I'm not worthy of being a successful business owner. I'm not worthy.

Alisha Coakley:

That I'm not worthy was the big, huge player in all of my things that came up and and the really I don't want to say scary, but the really interesting thing that came up in my session wasn't even a memory from this time at all. It was a memory from the pre-existence and a memory of Satan belittling me before I came to earth. And that was so. I was like what Like it was so weird. And I remember even at one point I love how Cali had she addressed her offender in one of her memories and in mine. I had to tell him to leave, I had to, I had to have that conversation, and so we cast him out and just didn't want to be in that space and man, I, just I was crying. I mean I was crying Like I was like what is wrong, I'm just crying.

Cali Coates:

It was yeah, I don't know if you remember, but it was really powerful because I know that you had, you had a brother, right, and when we first, when you first went back to that scene, you said it's my brother.

Cali Coates:

My brother's talking to me.

Cali Coates:

My brother's saying stuff to me and I said what is he saying? And then you told me what he's saying stuff to me, and I said what is he saying.

Alisha Coakley:

And then you told me what he was saying and I went oh, and it didn't it wasn't good stuff and so I said yeah, and so I said what is your brother's name?

Cali Coates:

and you said lucifer, and I I mean, you couldn't see me because I was in hypno.

Alisha Coakley:

You were in hypnosis, but I went even now I'm just hearing it and the chills went through and I was like oh my gosh Like.

Cali Coates:

I know he's that powerful, but I yeah, I was, I was blown away by it, I and it was, it was powerful and but we had to, we had to talk to him a few times like a couple of times to tell me no more. You are not worthy of her space.

Alisha Coakley:

You're not like you need to go and just to see how it's affected your life this whole time still time, to a point like it's still like, oh, you know cause you think it's so easy, I think, to just be like Satan's the enemy. You know like, oh, we never loved, but it kind of showed me like, no, there was a time we did love him and there's a time that he did love us.

Cali Coates:

You know like, do you remember that you were like it took us a minute because you didn't want to tell him? He had.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, I didn't want to make him feel bad and it was really interesting because afterwards yeah get you to understand that it was okay to tell him you have that boundary.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, it was crazy. And then afterwards I was reflecting on that and I thought I did the same thing with those who had had sexually abused me when I was a child. I never wanted them to hurt, I never wanted them to get in trouble, you know. And so I protected my abusers for decades, you know, and, and I had this love for my abusers, you know, like I just I genuinely didn't want them to be hurt or anything like that, to the point where it put me in a position where I kept getting in those positions, you know, I kept trusting the wrong people, I kept going against the Holy ghost because I didn't want to hurt their feelings and make them feel bad.

Alisha Coakley:

So it was really interesting to me if I was like, if that was a memory that came through, it started in the preexistence, if that was a memory that came through, it started in the pre-existence, like it was just crazy and I thought. I thought about another guest that we had oh, I can't remember who it was now, but we she talked about having trauma from the pre-existence before you even came to earth. Do you remember that, scott? I don't know if you remember that Like.

Alisha Coakley:

I remember her talking about how sometimes babies will cry because of the trauma. Maybe it was just during a conversation that I had with her outside of the podcast, I don't remember. Anyway, but I remember something coming up where, like we don't come to this earth completely free of trauma because we just came from a war, we just came from battle.

Cali Coates:

That makes sense, that makes sense.

Alisha Coakley:

You know what I mean.

Cali Coates:

So those emotions, those emotions that you felt on the other side, come with you.

Cali Coates:

Yeah.

Cali Coates:

They still come with you.

Alisha Coakley:

We still have all that Yep.

Cali Coates:

And they help you create your blueprint you know, and the older you get, the more of a of a understanding mind you have to be able to make like, see, oh, this, no, I don't need to protect myself from this anymore. Like one client, um was having trouble losing weight and it was because she had been sexually abused and in her little girl mind she thought, if I would have been bigger, I could have, I could have protected myself.

Alisha Coakley:

Yep.

Cali Coates:

And so she's tried every diet, every everything. But her mind was like oh no, hey, I'm keeping you safe, I'm keeping you safe, that's not going anywhere, I don't care what you eat. So until you deal with those emotions, I mean you're, you are where you are yeah you know, and, and some people can live life like that, and that's okay, if that's. You know, um, and I think I think Heavenly Father will probably, when we get to the other side, he'll be like I put people in your path. Why didn't you use them?

Cali Coates:

Like, why didn't you ask for help?

Cali Coates:

Yeah, yeah, but it's pretty when you get down to it. It's pretty our brains, Heavenly Father, knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing when he created us.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, and here's the cool thing, I think about heavenly father and I think how like heavenly father is eternal, right, like like there is really no concept of time when you think of things from an eternal perspective, right Like it just all kind of exists at the same time past, present, future, all of it's together. There's no real rush to get anything done. You know like you can take your time in doing it, and also it's like no matter how long it's been, there can be healing, there can be beauty, there can be a whole shift, like a whole change can happen when you're thinking more on like heavenly father's level. And that's the same thing that our brains do. Our brains have no concept of time or reality.

Cali Coates:

They don't?

Alisha Coakley:

yeah, they don't. They just create whatever they're going to create. What is job? Yeah, exactly. And so if, if that's the only way that you can heal is to go in internally in your brain to confront the people who hurt you and to have a conversation with them, it doesn't like that doesn't make it any less powerful than having a face-to-face conversation with them, and in some instances it's more powerful because you're not going to get interrupted and if you do, your brain can create whatever it needs to to help you to get through.

Cali Coates:

And they don't get a voice. If it's an abuser, they don't get a voice back. So it doesn't matter why they did it. It doesn't matter because it doesn't matter what they have to say, and I think that that's why so many of us don't is because we're afraid of what they're going to say back to us, and what they have to say doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Scott Brandley:

Interesting it's pretty.

Cali Coates:

It's yeah.

Cali Coates:

It's mind boggling how much our brains can even store Like that's that's why the picture of Inside Out 2 or Inside Out 1, that's why it's so interesting, because all those little balls that they have in the show are all memories and they every memory has an emotion tied to it. You have to.

Cali Coates:

We're emotional beings and so it could be good, it could be bad, and and and. The other thing to think about is sometimes it's not even um like, sometimes it's not even trauma that creates those emotions, and I think a lot of times we focus on trauma because that's big Right, but somebody just saying hey, I don't like your hair today could trigger an emotional response.

Alisha Coakley:

That's not really trauma, right, like we wouldn't label that, or the opposite Someone telling you your hair is so beautiful today. Now, all of a sudden, you're like, oh wait, is it not beautiful every other day? So do I have to do my hair like this every single day in order to be it's?

Cali Coates:

like insane. It's an emotional response, yeah. And so, and so we, we protect that. Deflecting compliments. We deflect compliments because of for whatever reason, and so sometimes those emotions, you just have to give a different job. And so if it, if there's not an abuser, you just have to give that that thing a different job, and so you can get on with your life. You just say, hey, okay, instead of protecting, so-and-so we're going to help. She doesn't need protection anymore. She's 40 years old.

Cali Coates:

She's not a four-year-old anymore.

Cali Coates:

She doesn't need to be protected by you anymore. So let's give you a different job, and that different job is X, y, z, whatever the client told me that it wants to have. After that is gone and it's all. It's all. The cool thing about the way that, um, that I was trained is it's all the client's words. You know I guide the conversation, but it's all the client's words fed back to them in a positive way, and so it's more personal than a generalized you know script or whatever.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, and I loved, I loved that you recorded the last part of it, the planting part, right the part at the very end of our session where, after we cleared out the gunk, we're, like, ready to plant some new ideas and new thoughts and new feelings. And and I did every night I think I only missed one night I would listen to to that when I was going to bed. So I was, you know, I'd get into bed, I'd say my prayers and stuff like that and I'd ask that Heavenly Father would just like help me through this and that he, you know, would put me in a position where I would have a healthy relationship with success, you know, in general, so that I could be more useful, so that I could build the kingdom more fully, so I wouldn't have to worry about those little things in life you know fully, so I wouldn't have to worry about those little things in life, you know. And as I was listening to this it it almost reminded me a little bit of, um, some of the things in my patriarchal blessing, where I remember getting my blessing, reading it, reading it, reading it, reading it, reading it.

Alisha Coakley:

And then, 20 years later, I read something for the first time. I swear, like it magically appeared in there. Right, it was the same thing with this. I would listen, listen, listen, and then all of a sudden I'd be like, wait, where did that come from? Wait, what did she say? You know, like to the point I almost want to rewind. You know, I didn't, but I just kept listening through and I was like wow, like it's almost like my brain was finally ready to hear something that I wasn't ready to hear before, in that maybe first week or second week or something to it and and so I really loved that. And to me it's funny how all this stuff like ties in. Right, it went back to this is why heavenly father tells you to read the scriptures over and over and over again, Alisha.

Cali Coates:

It's true, it's true, it all, it's all tied together. It's true.

Cali Coates:

Because, our brain doesn't hear and remember and see things, even if you've been over them 50,000 times, like sometimes it takes 51,000 times before you get it.

Cali Coates:

And because of your emotional responses throughout your life.

Cali Coates:

That changes Right, and so you might read. You might read about Nephi one time and have a totally different emotional response, and then, when you're a're asked to read it over and over and you're never done right. It's like your testimony your testimony is never done growing and if it is, you might want to get back to work because it's not done.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah, so how did? Being a member of the church and a hypnotherapist? How do you see the world with both of those perspectives?

Cali Coates:

I see the. Well, let me just go back to being a parent. Okay, the therapist that I saw. He says this is going to change your life. Or I said no. He said you're going to be really good at this. And I'm like I can't wait. I can't wait, it's going to be so good, it's going to change. It's going to change my life.

Cali Coates:

And he goes mm-hmm, and I didn't know what mm-hmm meant until now I'm on the other side, Because now I'm thinking oh my gosh, all the things I've said to my children for 15 years, for five years, I'm like what? What kind of emotional response have they had?

Cali Coates:

Like you know, like I just see, I don't know, I just see the world so differently now, and I see it as we all have something, and that's why we have brothers and sisters, that's why we have ward families, because we all have something that we can help each other through. And there's no doubt in my mind. Um, I did an exercise when I was a relief society teacher years ago, um, and I had everybody move around the room and it was really funny that people didn't want to move Right and we've been in the same, like my, the.

Cali Coates:

The ward that I just served in, that I'm still a member of, is the ward that I grew up in. Okay, like, I've been here for a long time. Most people have been here for a long time, um, but nobody wanted to move. Everybody was just so comfortable right where they were at.

Cali Coates:

Okay, now fast forward a few years later, um, I was called as the president and I did. Um, I was really prompted one Mother's Day to do something totally different, not had nothing to do with mothers, but it focused on certain women throughout the scriptures and their stories and how they were placed in time at the specific time for a specific reason. Right, Um, and I had all the sisters share with me, if they were comfortable, anonymously, something that they struggle with, and I was super grateful that there were so many that were willing to share those things with me and it built my testimony of we are in specific ward families for a very specific reason, and so when people don't feel welcome in their ward, or they don't this or that they don't get along, they're offended by this person or that person, For whatever reason. You're in that ward for a reason, and Heavenly Father knows what that is, and you might not know what that reason is right at the very beginning, but you're there for a specific reason. I learned that in my ward there is a lot of loss, a lot of children loss, whether that means physically, emotionally, mentally, and there's so many sisters that if they would just open up and share their stories that it would be a lot easier to lift each other up and to be a sisterhood, which is what Relief Society was intended for right, it was for that sisterhood.

Cali Coates:

And he doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't make mistakes when you're prompted to move to this place or that place. He doesn't make those mistakes. He doesn't make the mistake of you know this house, falling through, this house that you really really wanted falling through and you not being able to get it. It's not a mistake. It's because you're not supposed to be there. The people over here need you or you need these people over here. And that by doing that little exercise, it opened my eyes to trusting my Heavenly Father more in my life and in my calling to help people, to help sisters, trust their Heavenly Father that much more. And he knows you. He knows oh my gosh, he knows you. I wish everybody understood how much he really knows us individually and that he's our biggest cheerleader.

Alisha Coakley:

Well, tell me, Cali so you've been doing this for a little while now how, like, how has that changed you, your life, your relationship with your husband, your relationship with your husband, your relationship with your kids? You know, I know, on a grand scheme of things, with what you just shared with, like, being able to see more people in in a different perspective and a different light, um, that that's definitely helped with like all of those. But, like I feel like the sometimes our family relationships are the hardest right, Like the ones who have seen the ugliest of us we have the most experiences with, so it's harder for us to have compassion with them sometimes. You know, how did, how did that change just within your home?

Cali Coates:

So for me it was really instant. Um, I opened up my mind to be able to feel safe, sitting and holding my kids scratching their back. You know my, I mean my 15 year old. He doesn't really want to be held, but even just sometimes he does, and he's six too, he's huge, so he doesn't fit on my lap very well, but just being able to sit and even have conversations with them, I'm still, you know, I'm still running nine oh in my brain. I could always be better, but the block isn't there anymore, and so, and with my husband, I don't think I need to go into too much detail. It's good, huh, it's good, it's a lot better, I'll tell you that. But just having the patience, even just the patience with my kids, to understand that you know when they react a certain way it's because of something else.

Cali Coates:

And as a mom, most likely because of something that I've done in their childhood. You know with the older ones especially the way that I've reacted to something, and so now I get to help them undo that, and I think it's a huge blessing as a mom to be able to give them tools to change that you know, even my, my second to my second son.

Cali Coates:

He struggles in school a little bit and even just to be able to record a recording for him to listen to as he falls asleep at night, hearing my voice telling him how amazing he is and how things come naturally to him and you know, um, and then eventually, when he gets older, we'll work on the block why that's there and we'll get rid of it. But not, he's not right, he's not ready yet, um, but just having that tool in my toolbox and knowing that there's answers, that there's help, you know, like you don't have to live like that, you don't have to think everything is hard all the time.

Cali Coates:

Let's get through it. Let's change our way of thinking. You know, all the time, let's get through it. Let's change our way of thinking. You know, it's just. I'm more patient and more empathetic, I think and I was a pretty empathetic person before, but I absorbed everybody's everything instead of having a tool to give back to them, and that, I think, think, is one of the things that I love the most about this is that I get to help you, help yourself. I don't really do the work.

Cali Coates:

I guide you, but you are doing the work. You have the answers. I don't it's all in your mind, but I know how to help you unravel them and to help people help themselves. It's pretty rewarding.

Scott Brandley:

Awesome.

Alisha Coakley:

Man Well, miss Cali, that this I, I just love you. I just love you. Oh gosh, thank you so much for coming on here today. I know this.

Alisha Coakley:

This was a little bit different, you know it wasn't as concentrated on the whole story, which is what we normally do, but I really loved our conversations and I feel like it's so helpful because if anything else like even if people don't want to go into any types of therapies or they don't want to go, reach out for that help, I really hope and I believe that today, some of the things that you shared might just be enough to help people to be open to the idea of hey, I can change, I don't have to live like this, I don't have to let this continue to be a trigger in a bad way. I don't have to let my anxiety or my fear or anything like that control me and I think any any time that we can get a little stronger. It definitely helps us to continue in that that war with Satan right, like it continues to to build up the kingdom of God and to really just bring them together.

Cali Coates:

And help our own army of Helaman Like if we can talk about things a little bit more and be a little more open and understanding and empathetic towards each other, pretty soon Satan's not even going to try. We're going to be a lost cause for him.

Alisha Coakley:

That would be wonderful.

Cali Coates:

It would be, and for our youth especially. I think just helping them know that their emotions are real and it's okay. It's okay and it's good to have those things. You know it's good to have emotions because that means you're alive, You're emotional beings and that's why we're here is to have an emotional experience.

Scott Brandley:

I love that. Yeah, man. Well, is there any last thoughts that you'd like to share before we wrap things up?

Cali Coates:

Just that God loves us all and that you're amazing. Every, every listener, every watcher, every. You're amazing and your heavenly father loves you so much. Let him love you. Let him love you.

Alisha Coakley:

I love that. Well, thank you so much, ms Cali, and if anyone, if anyone, is interested in getting in touch with you, um, we'll go ahead and we'll share however you want to do that. Do you want them to just do an email or like?

Cali Coates:

well, we can do. I'll send you my email and my um Facebook and Instagram handles and then they can reach out to me there as well.

Alisha Coakley:

We'll add all that in the description. So if you guys are looking for anything like that, we'll put it in the description for you and we'll put the description or the link to was it Rat Park? Is that what you said? So?

Cali Coates:

it's called Rat Park, r-a-t Park, and it's a really cool science experiment with some rats.

Cali Coates:

Okay, it's cool.

Cali Coates:

And if you know of anybody that struggles with addiction or anything like that. It's pretty eye-opening.

Alisha Coakley:

Okay, awesome, I love that Very cool. Thank you guys. Thanks for being on the show, very cool.

Scott Brandley:

Thank you guys, thanks for yeah, thanks for being on the show, Cali, and thanks everyone for tuning in to hear Cali story. Hopefully this has helped give you some insight on how your brain works and how you can fix it. I'm probably going to be reaching out to you. I mean, I think I'm a pretty like be reaching out to you, cause I mean, I mean, I think I'm a pretty like I don't know.

Alisha Coakley:

High functioning individual.

Scott Brandley:

Talking to you Like there's definitely some blocks that I have. I mean, I think it'd be helpful to talk through with somebody that can give me a different perspective on it.

Cali Coates:

So, I really appreciate you coming on. You have the perspective, it's not me.

Scott Brandley:

Yeah.

Cali Coates:

You have the different perspective, but for some reason your brain is keeping you in the spot where it feels like you're safe.

Cali Coates:

You have the answer Not me. I'll guide you there, I'll guide you there, I'll guide you there.

Scott Brandley:

Exactly Right. There you go. I appreciate that and you know anybody that needs something like this. You know, reach out to Cali, let's see if we can help you or she can help you. I can't do anything for you other than put on this podcast, so hopefully that helps.

Cali Coates:

That's helpful.

Alisha Coakley:

There you go, perfect, and don't forget listeners to do your five second missionary work. Hit that share button, comment. Let us know what you guys thought of today. What kind of you know comments or lessons did you learn? Um, you know, what sort of good feedback do you have for Cali? I know that she would love to hear that and, um, I'm you know what?

Cali Coates:

Cali.

Alisha Coakley:

I think, I don't know. This term came to my head, so this is what I'm going to I'm going to dub you a missionary of the mind. That's going to be your new title. You're a missionary, and so, yeah, we need all sorts of missionaries out there.

Cali Coates:

It's good, though, like it.

Cali Coates:

Yeah, unlock, unlock some potential.

Alisha Coakley:

Yeah, yeah for sure. So all right guys. Well, I think that's all that we have for you today. Thanks so much again for tuning in. Thank you, ms Cali, for coming and just being your wonderful self and sharing all of these great insights with us. We really appreciated it, and be sure to tune in for another story next week of Latter-day Lights Until then we hope you guys have a great week.

Cali Coates:

Take care, Thank you.

People on this episode

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Scott Brandley

Host
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Alisha Coakley

Co-host