This is an AMAZING podcast for anyone who is currently struggling or who knows someone who may be struggling with pornography addiction.
In this episode welcomes Kyson Kid lays bare his fight against pornography addiction and the profound transformation that unfolded as he learned some powerful lessons that have changed his life.
There are also some really big AH-HA moments in this episode for anyone who struggles with self worth or shame issues. You don't want to miss it!
*** Please SHARE Kyson's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***
To WATCH this episode on YouTube, visit: https://youtu.be/4RmJtguVunA
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Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.
This is an AMAZING podcast for anyone who is currently struggling or who knows someone who may be struggling with pornography addiction.
In this episode welcomes Kyson Kid lays bare his fight against pornography addiction and the profound transformation that unfolded as he learned some powerful lessons that have changed his life.
There are also some really big AH-HA moments in this episode for anyone who struggles with self worth or shame issues. You don't want to miss it!
*** Please SHARE Kyson's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***
To WATCH this episode on YouTube, visit: https://youtu.be/4RmJtguVunA
-----
Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.
Hi, this is Ken Williams.
Alisha Coakley:And I'm Alicia Coakley. Every member of the church has a story to share, one that can instill faith, invite growth and inspire others.
Ken Williams:On today's episode we're going to hear how one man discovered that joy can be found even before overcoming the pattern of pornography. Welcome to Latter-day Lights Music.
Alisha Coakley:All right, welcome, welcome everybody. As you can see, my co-host has a lot more hair than usual today.
Ken Williams:I'm sure.
Alisha Coakley:Scott, we are going to excuse him. He has some things going on with his family this day, and so we are so happy to be able to invite a co-host, ken Williams. Ken has his own podcast as well. You have a couple right.
Ken Williams:I have a couple, actually three, if you want to be Three.
Alisha Coakley:What are your three Ken?
Ken Williams:So I have a Latter-day Saint themed podcast Actually, I'm kind of shifting into more of a general Christian, just anybody with faith. It's called Chocolate Cake Bites and B-Y-T-E-S, and this is where either I myself will just have some thoughts or I'll have conversations I did with Alicia a few weeks ago where we'll just talk about something that we learned or heard or are thinking about that's related to the gospel, and so that's one. I'm a live coach, and so my other, my coaching podcast, is the Bad Boss podcast. I help people who deal, who have bad bosses, deal with that, and then also just as kind of a side project since why not I've started a ward podcast for members of my ward, so I just sit down with people in my ward, get to know them a little bit, and that's been an absolute blast.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, yeah, awesome. And you were our guest of ours recently as well, so that's that's how Ken came into the whole mix here. And then we have Kyson Kyson kid. Thank you so much, kyson. You are our guest guest tonight, so we are really excited to have you. I know you do coaching as well, but why don't you go ahead and tell the audience a little bit about yourself?
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, I'm so glad to be here. I honestly have a hard time introducing myself sometimes. It's like you know I do. I do a lot of things, but I guess the things that I'm currently passionate about I love to coach. The thing I love about that is deep conversations, people that know me in real life, like my friends. That's one of the things that my favorite friends do is we sit and we have real conversations about life or whatever's going on. So I love I love that. I love connecting with people. I love to create music. So I do a few different types of music, but I love creating music that helps people just feel and relax but still is cool. You know a lot of them, a lot of that music out there can just like bore you to death or at least to tears, and so I try to make that a fun, an enjoyable experience as I create music.
Ken Williams:So are there specific instruments that you that you play, or is it?
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, I play a lot of piano and guitar. And then have you ever seen the steel drums that are shaped like a UFO? Oh yeah, so I've got a couple of those that I play.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, they're pretty fun.
Kyson Kidd:And then I guess I forgot to introduce the fact that I married and have two awesome kids and an awesome wife. So yeah, that's.
Alisha Coakley:We might hear your little one in the background, but that's totally okay. We're pro kids here. Thank you, Very cool. And then so where? Where are you located, Kyson?
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, I'm in Kansas. We moved here two years ago Just kind of felt right, so we're here.
Alisha Coakley:All right, there you go have you met.
Kyson Kidd:Dorothy, yet no, we have. We've seen a few like touristy things that say, like you know no place like home and yellow brick road stuff, but right. Not as much as you'd think. Oh, okay, well, that's kind of sad yeah they got to work on that.
Ken Williams:They got to really work on it. So so you reached out because you've got a story and so we'd love to hear a story.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, absolutely. I'm going to kind of just start at the start and I'll let you guys guide me. You know, if you have questions, feel free to like interject and we can flesh out any parts you want to hear, as was stated in the in the intro. So I, I, I love talking about this subject, which some people think sounds weird. I love talking about my experience with pornography because I think it's one of the biggest struggles in our world that no one's allowed to talk talk about, especially in the Christian world. There's a lot of fear about talking about it. So, yeah, I guess let's, let's start at the beginning.
Kyson Kidd:I I ended up getting into pornography on accident as a little kid, which is like a lot of people have that experience. I think I was seven or eight and just kind of stumbled on things and that turned into basically just years of you know, turn in curiosity and almost, almost even feeling like an addictive habit, with overcoming the internet blocks, you know, and just like getting in this split, in this place of like how can I get past that? And like obsessing over it. And it was really hard because along that whole journey I never like gave in and was like I'm just going to like go for it. I was always also trying to like step back and say, like what is wrong? Why do I keep doing this? I don't know how to stop.
Kyson Kidd:You know, as a as a young kid, I didn't. I chose not to confide in anybody about it. So you know I wasn't like I wasn't very supported. You know I had great leaders and great parents, but I didn't take advantage of the support system. I don't know. I'm not trying to say that other people didn't do a good enough job there, but that is just kind of the way things unfolded is. I dealt with it alone for most of my life, and was it?
Alisha Coakley:was it like a shame thing, or did you just feel like they were going to look at you differently, or you didn't you think that you needed them, kind of what was that thinking?
Kyson Kidd:Totally At the time. I feel like I'll say a little more on this later but I like didn't understand shame, I think, because I was so engulfed in shame that I didn't know there was like not shame. You know, I didn't know there was another option. I just felt like this is the way life is. I remember the first time, you know, because the bishop was I was going to have a bishops interview, I think, about priesthood, something like that, and the first time I told the bishop, I remember being just sick for like a week before the interview, just like sick to my stomach and all kinds of fearful thoughts about like what's, what's even going to happen, and he's going to make me tell my parents, and just a lot, a lot of huge fears. So, yeah, I'd say just massive shame. So much that I interestingly, it's like it's weird to talk about this I guess I haven't shared this exact piece very often, but I ended up getting caught by my dad, which I remember. One of the very first things I thought this is around 16, 17 very first things I thought was I'm really grateful I don't have to hide this anymore, like within 30 seconds of it, wow. So it definitely thrives in a shameful environment. And I guess what's interesting, the way this first part of my journey feels to me is like, over and over I would start to count the days and say, ok, let's see if I can go a week in a month and two months and whatever. And then I would mess up and be back to square one. It's like, oh well, nothing's changed again, and I just did that for years. I remember like basically the feeling was like I'd get to two years and I'd be like, oh, I haven't even changed. You know, I'm just doing the same thing. I get to three years and I tell myself the same thing. In five years of struggling with it, I finally was able to kind of like get things under control enough to get ready for a mission, which I'm super grateful for. I didn't change, I didn't change my heart at all. I'll say that I definitely just decided OK, I'm going to stop because I've got to go on a mission. And you know, on my mission I did really well. That's the thing that's maybe hard to understand, especially with how little we talk about pornography and how many people struggle with it.
Kyson Kidd:This whole time I was like a super faithful. I mean, I was like kind of rebellious and seminary and stuff. But like I was reading my scriptures, I believed in God. Yeah, seminary is a it's a good time to bring for that stuff to come forward, yeah. But yeah, I was totally active. I read my scriptures.
Kyson Kidd:I was, you know, trying to like memorize scriptures and have meaningful prayers and all those things and and on my mission I felt like I was a great missionary.
Kyson Kidd:I really focused on obedience and like trying to help people come to Jesus and I believed all that stuff that whole time. You know, I didn't really struggle on my mission with pornography but as soon as I got home, maybe like I don't know how long it would be, I don't remember the exact amount, but within months it was just back in like nothing had changed and I remember. You know, there's that despair of like OK, and more shame too. Like OK, I just went on a mission. I'm supposed to there's that phrasing I'm supposed to have this figured out and supposed to be better than this by now. I'm supposed to. You know all the different supposed to's and I'm trying to think what even happened next. It just honestly, it just feels like all of stage one is this pattern of I didn't change anything. Sometimes I could go a month or three months or a week, and two years or two years for a mission.
Kyson Kidd:I remember getting to a year one time and I was dating a girl. Things were going good. We broke up and then I was like back in. You know I'm so, so, depressed, so lonely, so you know, confused about whatever life, college, and I dove back in.
Ken Williams:And so that I have. Maybe you'll get to this later. But number one after your dad caught you, did you feel like you had to continue to hide, or was that kind of opening that topic at least with him, that you didn't have to hide from him? And then the second question that I don't know if I'll remember it, but looking back, is there anything that you wish your parents or leaders or bishop or anybody else had done or not done that might have changed your experience?
Kyson Kidd:Oh yeah, that's a huge question. My dad, like having it out in the open. I think I still was pretty shame-based and I don't know that he was shameful, but at least you know, with my filter of how stuff came in, like I was, basically I just shamed myself into stopping. It's like well, now he knows and he's going to ask me about it pretty often, so I don't want to deal with that embarrassment so like we got to just stop so I can get ready for a mission. So I didn't get to a place where I could just openly like, hey, let's really talk about what's going on.
Kyson Kidd:I think my dad would have been willing, but I was still kind of in.
Kyson Kidd:I was in like a cloudy mind of a teenager who had been looking at porn for, you know, 10 years or whatever, eight years, and so for me it just felt like it felt really hard to get into an open space there.
Kyson Kidd:So I think that ties into what I would have loved from leaders and parents and I don't expect them I'll say that again, I'm not expecting them to like you didn't do good enough. I take full accountability for my experience and I think we're getting more equipped as time goes on as parents, right, that's we're learning about how intense pornography really is. I think it would have been so powerful to have someone who could just be so like weirdly enough. I want to say vulnerable, not necessarily about pornography, but like someone willing to say like it's okay to struggle, it's okay to have fears, it's okay to to feel lust and not know how to stop. You know, it's okay to be anxious and to be worried about stuff and it's okay to make mistakes. Like really just to clear the air there so that I could start to ask some deeper questions. Okay.
Alisha Coakley:Right Almost like you needed. You needed an adult to show you that there wasn't shame in it. Right Like that, that it was human, almost right Like this is something that we go through, you know.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, and I think it's. It's weird how it's kind of I think it can be rare for people to. I think I guess I'll say this it's really common to for people to be in kind of a shaming mindset where, like we need, you know, if you're not doing the right thing, then we need to sort of punish you or subtly ostracize you. Yeah, so you know I'm. It sounds a little intense to say this, but I'm trying to think like I don't know how many. I'm like really questioning can I say this phrasing how many adults did I know growing up that felt truly safe and not in a place of shame? I'm not sure because of how thick my filter of shame was. So to me it felt like shame is the way that this world operates, like, especially church culture. Shame is like the thing that keeps us going.
Alisha Coakley:Right, and it's not the gospel that's shaming us, it's Satan, like it's totally him getting in our head and, being that ventriloquist, you know that that shaming and telling us this is bad, you're horrible, no one's going to understand. You know like you shouldn't be doing this. You might as well just give up. You know like it really, like it really really is him, and I I've always said that. I've told my kids that Satan thrives in secrecy. So like the more you keep secret, the more you keep to yourself.
Alisha Coakley:like he is just building muscle, he's building his arsenal, like that is such a powerful breeding ground for him and he, he uses that secrecy and that shame, those two things, to continue getting us to sin Right, like it's like that terrible s cycle. Yeah, as to the third power thing. So yeah, wow.
Kyson Kidd:Well so.
Alisha Coakley:So take us to where, where you're at now, so you're home from your mission. You had this breakup, you. You got back into it again when did we go?
Kyson Kidd:And yeah, so let's get to the cool part, right, the part where things start to shift. Cause it for real. It felt like basically like 17 to 18 years of just like, oh dang, this is not working, nothing like nothing's working. And one of the first moments of clarity or like shifting that happened, I ended up getting, like, starting to get more familiar with like Eastern medicine approach. They have a unique approach to like the physical body, and then also like the emotional and spiritual. And there's this question, depending on who you like, learn through right.
Kyson Kidd:I, just as I read and learn things, I found this question, or this concept of like what's down in the roots, what's beneath this thing, and that's one of the things that Eastern medicine does is treats everything as a symptom. So, instead of like, oh, my stomach hurts, I need to take a pill to fix the pain, we go. Well, why is your stomach hurting? What's the nutrients that's missing? What's the you know? What's the emotional stress factor? Are you going to tell your bishop that you're struggling with porn in a week? Is that why you have a stomachache? That kind of thing? Right, we figure out what's down in the roots or what's beneath this. Another way I like to phrase that question was like what's really going on, what's the real thing?
Kyson Kidd:And so, as I learned that I don't remember the exact you know moment, but there's this pattern that started to emerge over several weeks and months where I started asking that question about everything, like I gave myself permission to. Instead of shaming and punishing myself into being how I'm supposed to be, I started to give myself space to just ask questions. So, interestingly, I didn't actually start. I didn't start by tackling my pornography struggle. I started with, like I'm feeling super anxious when I'm in social groups. What if, instead of just telling myself, hey, you shouldn't be anxious, that's dumb or that means you're not confident, instead I started to ask well, what's really going on? Like what, what's in the roots beneath it, right Like it's? It's this really cool way of almost trusting yourself, trusting that your experience is okay and trusting that God can work with you, and so I started to practice that question, basically.
Ken Williams:So I'm curious what? What was it? You said you started studying some of this Eastern medicine. What brought that on? How did you get acquainted with that, or how did you decide to approach that Cause it sounds like it made a significant difference for you.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, it's so fun to look back at some of these events cause it feels like God was just like guiding me, so so clearly. So I was in Idaho going to school. I was about to start a new semester like my final semester or two and I just had this feeling of like, I'm not going back, like I'm, I'm not going back to school. I was like, okay, I'm going to just see how you know, we'll see how that feels. Fast forward a little bit through all the drama of like am I really going to drop out of college or take a huge break? And I ended up feeling to go to Utah and hang out there.
Kyson Kidd:Like I said, I do music and so at the time, the reason I thought I was going to Utah was to try to become a YouTuber. Like, do music, get on YouTube. And I got connected with a lot of people in that community, had a good time. It didn't work out, but it ended up connecting me with a friend who she does yoga stuff, like she's a yoga teacher, and I was in a little bit of a prideful it's like I always laugh about this cause she did a like she did some yoga and a sound bath. I don't know if you guys know what that is, but it's like you know crystal stinging bowls and you just relax that whole thing. And afterward I went up to her and I was like, hey, where'd you get the music you're using? Cause? I was like it's not that good, which is so, it's so prideful, like it's just very pompous.
Alisha Coakley:Like, and I think sometimes it's just observing it's like you just know that there could be something better. So that's, it's not prideful.
Kyson Kidd:I mean it's nice of you to say that. I think I was in a prideful space, like, or I was just trying to show off like hey, I could make music. That's better than that for yoga. And she was like, oh, really, like, let's talk about it. So I was actually trying to make like a money deal out of it, like let me make, let me make you some music, you can pay me, it'll be cool. And what ended up happening?
Kyson Kidd:After writing like the first song with her, I was like dang, I love this. Like I love this feeling of music having a greater purpose than just like I want to get famous. You know, letting people actually feel their emotions and have an opportunity to heal. So this all started like back to your question, ken like it it started to converge on this, like giving myself space to heal emotions, or maybe okay, like she would say that in the yoga classes, like it's okay to have emotions, and I'm like, oh, I don't know if that's true, I was in a pretty, pretty scary place with my emotions, but it was so cool to to see the people that God guided me to. And then from there we ended up like that's, you know, yoga is kind of an Eastern philosophy type thing.
Kyson Kidd:I ended up learning about some like energy healing modalities, which I know is probably a massive trigger word, depending on who we are. But I did go. I went to an energy healing conference and I was like this stuff is stupid, I don't want anything to do with this. And then, like a few hours later, I was like, oh crap, like that same thing keeps happening to me, like, oh, dang it, I think I'm going to learn from this stuff. You know, and you know I'm not trying to make a plug or anything for energy work like that. I feel like God guided me through that in a way that helps me take pieces, that really felt true and that gave me that beautiful gift of a question. It's like what is really going on, what's down in the roots?
Alisha Coakley:So what are the?
Ken Williams:things that you discovered as as you started digging into those, those roots, and not just with pornography, but with with other emotions.
Kyson Kidd:Oh yeah, it's like that question is essentially telling me everything about your entire life. So let me, let me not do that.
Alisha Coakley:Way to go Ken.
Kyson Kidd:I love it. That's a great question. So, yeah, the beginning it's really. It was really cool, because sometimes, sometimes you ask yourself questions like that and you get stuck. You're like I don't really know what's going on, like I know there's something, I can feel there's something.
Kyson Kidd:Um, I started my first step was really starting to just observe what's happening, like, okay, this is my pattern. When I'm really stressed or when I feel like I doubt my potential to be successful or those kinds of things, I would just notice my patterns and triggers. Um, as I was pondering those questions, I started to feel this, almost this interaction with my friends where it felt like God was just bringing people like all day long. I remember writing in my journal like it feels like I had five conversations today that were all so inspired, even without me bringing stuff up, I'd have a friend be like you know, I've been thinking about shame. I'm like, no way, I'm like me too. Or, yeah, I've been thinking about whatever it was.
Kyson Kidd:Um, so, so a couple of the moments that feel really impactful for me as far as learning what roots, what root issues were going on. I remember one of my good friends. Um, after just having a conversation, she saw some pattern in me and she she just was noticing how I was talking about another friendship and she's like hey, kyson, do you have a savior complex? And I seriously was like, wow, what's? What's so interesting is I was like 26 and I didn't know what that meant. Isn't that so crazy?
Alisha Coakley:Like to me, that's so why don't you tell the? I'm sure that there's audience, audience members who are listening, who have no idea, but that's yeah.
Kyson Kidd:I think they said this though why don't you tell us real quick, yeah totally, and I actually asked her in the moment, right, I was like I don't really know what that is, um, but it's this, this pattern of like trying to save everybody, you know, like, how do you rescue them? Usually it's like emotionally, spiritually, right, like I'm responsible for you, making sure you feel good about this situation, or if you're feeling anxious, I'll fix it. If you're feeling alone, I'll fix it. Um, and this is pattern of just like sacrificing yourself for everybody, just trying to be a hero, um, but in the most unhealthy way, right.
Alisha Coakley:When the in a way that that actually hurts you right For the most part, you know.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, absolutely. So. What was interesting is I kind of like started to open to that question and I started realizing like, okay, I might have a little bit of that pattern going on. It was a ton, like everything I was doing was based on it. Um, and then, within a few weeks I think another friend mentioned this idea that, like Kaisen, I think you might be be dealing with some shame and the same thing happened.
Kyson Kidd:I was like, wait, shame. I don't even know what you're talking about. Like what is that? I've heard? Obviously I know the concept, but I had never actually looked at like, am I feeling shame? And you know, I guess I'm getting very nostalgic. Like I have all these moments that I remember, but one of the powerful moments around shame.
Kyson Kidd:It took me a few days of pondering that like, do I have shame or no? And I was laying on the floor in my house and just chatting with some of my roommates and then I sort of just like closed my eyes and was like dozing off. And all of a sudden, this download, where it was almost like a life review, but a short life review, like where the spirit just brought up like memories from when I was tiny, all the way up to where I was and it was just like shame, shame, shame, shame. I could see this pattern of like basically shame is the thing I know. It's like my operating system at the time.
Kyson Kidd:So, anyway, it was just really cool to have those friends love me enough and go out on a limb enough to ask like such an intense question, and I feel like God had really set the stage for me to actually be able to ask them without freaking out.
Kyson Kidd:I was able to actually check like am I feeling shame? So that's what I started to find down in the roots is like tons of shame, tons of trying to save other people. I started to realize that I had given up so much of my like my desire because I sacrificed basically who I was so I could just like meet everybody's needs. I remember people asking like hey, where do you want to go for food? And like I'd seriously be thinking like where do they want to go for food and how can I discern that? So I could tell them that answer, like I don't even know what I want, I just am trying to be what other people want and it's. There was a really unhealthy way to connect and lead anyway led to a lot of different things, but it was at one of the big roots of my pornography struggle.
Alisha Coakley:Do you think that a part of the reason why you had that savior complex and why you felt the need to, like you know, be constantly thinking about those other people first is because you didn't know who you were?
Ken Williams:Hmm.
Kyson Kidd:I'd say that's for sure. Yeah, I've never phrased it like that, but I'd say that definitely fits Like a disconnect from who I was. Maybe that's one of the things that shame does. Right, it's like shame. Shame is kind of this attitude of like you need to fix your actions. It doesn't matter who you are, what your journey is or what you're struggling with. You need to stop or start acting the way you're supposed to. Right, when I feel like true gospel change is like come to Jesus, bring everything you got, let him look at it, look at it with him and then change your heart and then your beliefs. You know your thoughts, your actions will change naturally as a result. Right.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, that's super interesting.
Kyson Kidd:So I feel like maybe that even just what we just explained that's, that was sort of the pattern of the next parts of my life is just starting to ask over and over what else is down there, what else is going on. And it was interesting. I didn't notice like I'd start to see pockets of like oh, I didn't use porn for a month like that was pretty cool. Or two months Not a huge shift, though still a lot of temptation and I did get to like, if you kind of like summarize the next couple years, I ended up meeting my wife and I ended up doing better, let's say like I didn't. You know, I didn't struggle nearly as much. I was able to like worthily enter the temple and get married and that was all awesome. And you know, there's there was still maybe some pattern of shame there, because I think I used the fear of like, okay, now that I'm married, I like just can't struggle. That'd be terrible if you struggled, so I won't.
Kyson Kidd:And maybe for the first six months of my, of my marriage, I did good like I didn't use pornography, but I felt tempted pretty much every day. So you know, I'd be like, let's, I just got to play call of duty to distract myself, or I got to get on my phone. A lot of distraction. And again, you know, there was another layer of like stuff down in the roots and I had a coach at the time who was coaching me on. I had started coaching others on different things, right on shame and anxiety and whatever and I had a coach who again, just another person that brought a beautiful conversation to my life that changed everything.
Kyson Kidd:I remember him helping me see through a bunch of questions. He helped me see that I had been blaming pretty much everybody in my life for my emotions. You know I'm feeling upset or scared or not good enough, but instead I was just blaming everybody, like my parents aren't doing this enough and my wife's not giving me enough appreciation and validation and whatever. And what was so interesting is I wasn't getting coached on pornography. That wasn't the purpose of that session. It was just about my business. And that's what came up is this accountability and blaming. And there was a moment after like realizing how intensely I had been blaming my coach. His name is Daniel Adams, an incredible dude. Yeah, alicia, you know him.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, he was a guest too A little while ago on our show, so he's good people man.
Kyson Kidd:yeah, that guy is just like a soul hug. I love it.
Alisha Coakley:He is. That's the perfect description for him.
Kyson Kidd:And I remember this, at the end of the session he goes all right, kyson, so are you ready to commit to be 100% accountable for your thoughts and emotions and actions? And the question scared me a ton, but I, after thinking about it, I said yes, I'm willing to commit to practice that. So here's what's crazy is on. And that day, like that exact day relative to pornography, I think of it this way it was like the waters were still. There was no temptation. I experienced three months of like full. I call it freedom. It was the first time in my life that I wasn't having to like run from it because I was so tempted. And so, you know, I experienced freedom for three months and then, you know, stuff would pop up again. We're like well, I'm feeling tempted, but it was a new thing.
Kyson Kidd:Instead of like, my daily struggle was like whoa, that's crazy. I'm feeling tempted today. What's going on, what's beneath it? And it started. This is where things started become joyful. Like things were joyful, I think, even a little earlier, when I started to learn things about myself. But this is where, like, true joy came in, because I would start to learn things about myself that I didn't know. Like things really powerful things like beneath, like beneath my temptation, a lot of times there's, there are spiritual gifts and strengths that I was afraid to step into or use or that I had been ignoring. I don't know. Can I share one of those?
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, I was actually just gonna ask you.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, this is like where it started to feel so fun, like I felt like God was teaching me some of the mysteries of my universe, of like who I am. I remember in a fast and testimony meeting, everyone was like getting up and bearing testimony. I would struggle with those a lot because I'm really discerning of people's intentions and sometimes I'd have very judgmental thoughts and be like, oh, that feels fake or why are they crying? And then I'd beat myself up for being so judgmental, like come on, kyson, that's so rude, you should just like listen. So one day this girl got up, she started talking and immediately I heard this phrase in my mind. I heard she's so stupid, which is so like right, it sounds so mean. And I immediately started just beating myself up like dude, kyson, you are so mean, you know.
Kyson Kidd:I started just tearing into myself and I got this little impression that was like wait, kyson, before you beat yourself up, ask a question. And I was like, okay, put you know, push pause on the self criticism. And then I was like what is, what's the question I'm supposed to ask? And the question that came to my mind was was that thought of she's so stupid? Was that? Was that my thought and I asked that question and I got a super clear no, that wasn't yours, wow, so you know it took some time to understand. Like what? What does that even mean? If it's not mine, it was in my head. What's going on? What I started to learn is that at times, occasionally, I will discern people's like subconscious fears or thoughts, and I know it's a pretty intense thing to claim.
Alisha Coakley:But as I started, that like gave me chills, literally. I was like what?
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, it's so. It was a really interesting time to realize like wait, I'm not just broken, like I'm not just supposed to stop criticizing people and I can't figure it out. It's that I had a gift I didn't understand. So I had a few more experiences where, like after that time where I'd meet somebody and just like hear something, I remember like shaking a girl's hand and I heard I hate you because you're a man, and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna like I don't know where that came from, let me list, let me just like observe and I just like treated her nice and as she was talking to someone else, we were all getting to know each other.
Kyson Kidd:She mentioned like, yeah, my dad left me and my mom when we were younger and, you know, had a bunch of like pretty intense feelings about it. So, just an interesting like. It was an interesting twist to realize like, oh, maybe beneath all the stuff I struggle with, maybe God is trying to show me that I have some gifts and some strengths, and I would say that that pretty much summarizes like everything I've done in this. It's been like, you know, the last four years has basically been understanding what strengths and gifts I have that have been either turned upside down, misunderstood or, like that, have been hidden beneath my struggle with pornography.
Alisha Coakley:Wow, I love that perspective so much because I like one of my favorite things that I could talk for days and days and days on end about is the need for us to become who God wants us to be. Right, it did just that discovering who we were in the pre-existence and who we're meant to become in the next life and I like, when you were talking about that, I thought about that. I'm like that makes perfect sense why Satan would try so hard to get us to fall in something. And you know, for you it was the pornography. For me, food addiction was like my thing for a really, really, really long time.
Alisha Coakley:And money, Like I spend money really badly. And then for someone else it might be gambling. For someone else it might be lying. For someone else it might be laziness or gaining way too much right Like video games too much, or whatever fill in the blank. But I can see how Satan would totally try to use the thing that we're going to be weakest at to bury the things that we're meant to be strongest at. I can absolutely see how that would work out and I love, I think, that. I know I personally like my patriarchal blessing talks about my gifted discernment and I know I have some friends who have the same gift or whatever and when you look it up in the Bible dictionary there's just like a little blip, Like there's not a whole lot of information on what that gifted discernment is. So it's awesome that you have that perspective of could it include that you're able to even discern the thoughts of other people too, Like the feelings, the emotions, and maybe ones that they don't even recognize that they're having, Like the girl that shook your hand.
Ken Williams:I don't.
Alisha Coakley:I don't assume that she would consciously be like yeah, I hate you because you're a man type of thing. But if you were able to understand that on a deeper level, I can definitely see how. One, that can help you to not have judgment in an unrighteous way, and two, to be able to show compassion and Christlike love towards the other person.
Alisha Coakley:So that's amazing and, on top of it, would make you an even more powerful coach. Right Like to be able to know what it is that that the people you're working with are feeling and thinking, and to kind of guide them down that journey of figuring out for themselves what they're thinking and feeling, like not just giving it to them right, but just like asking the questions that will lead them to that own understanding. I think that that's. That's amazing.
Kyson Kidd:Okay, yeah, yeah, thanks.
Alisha Coakley:Sorry, that was just a whole bunch of word vomit.
Kyson Kidd:But that's beautiful. I think you're right.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, so well, I want to kind of rewind just a little bit because I know that there's going to be some people that bring this up about the energy healing right, and I know this is not like you said, this isn't like a plug for energy work but I do think that sometimes we're so turned off to the tools and resources that are out there because we have a misunderstanding of them. That I'm not gonna say it makes Heavenly Father's job harder, but it definitely makes everything easier when we're a little open, not so open I've said this before not so open that our brains fall out Like we don't want to be open to, to everything and everywhere, but knowing that the scriptures talk about wherever there's good, there's God, right, like Heavenly Father. That's how you know the fruits of the Spirit is. You know if it's charity, if it's love it's, if it's something that that does good, that thing can be of God. So maybe not every aspect of it, but there's always a way to learn from different resources, different faiths, different experiences, different people's perspectives.
Alisha Coakley:And I think you know, in regards to things like energy healing or anything else that you want to look into, whether it's traditional medicine or therapies or whatever, and maybe you have a suggestion for listeners too, but my suggestion is to go into it, making sure that you constantly check back with the Spirit, you know. Can you show me the truth in this? Can you show me how it connects to God's plan for me? Can you show me how it can open doors so that I can walk down a path that's gonna lead me to more resources? What would you say to people who maybe are starting to look for stuff but they don't even know where to look, because you said you had a lot of things just kind of come into your path. How did they do that? How did they be open to receiving information and resources and help?
Kyson Kidd:I think you summed it up perfectly Just checking in and saying what is right, asking Heavenly Father, can you guide me? I love the guiding principle of all good things lead to Christ, all truth leads to Him. So I would definitely say that I also kind of want to answer. There's an experience that kind of opened the floodgates for God to guide me, I think. So, if you're feeling like okay, I'm ready for guidance, but like why is it not coming? And this kind of rewinds back to around the shame discovery, when that friend asked me that question, I remember one time just praying like I had been struggling again with pornography, and I remember asking God like what's going on?
Kyson Kidd:I'm like reading my scriptures, I'm doing my whatever, ministering, going to church, I'm like actively trying to do this thing, but nothing is changing.
Kyson Kidd:And after some real time, like in prayer, I had this this little whisper of like kind of a discernment of what was in my own, what thoughts I had chosen into, what subconscious beliefs I had, and I just saw really clearly oh, I've been telling myself for years I know God will help me, I know Jesus wants to help me and he helps other people, but then the rule I had set for myself is Jesus will help me. After I fix myself a little bit more, like up to this degree, and all of a sudden it was like so clear I feel like Heavenly Father was showing me like well, I want to help you, but you don't want me to help yet, so that's why it's not changing, you know. And so, interestingly, as I made that shift and said, okay, I'm gonna let you help me, even though it's scary and I'm not sure if I deserve it, like all those fears, that's actually what opened all the floodgates for friendships and conversations and you know, whatever.
Kyson Kidd:the bits and pieces from energy healing, the bits and pieces from yoga. I've loved life coaching as a guiding. I'm sure you can both attest to that Like it's such a cool way to see the world. So, yeah, I would say, do that check of. Like all good things lead to Christ, does this lead to Christ? And then also the check of am I allowing God to? Do I actually allow Jesus to help me right now, or am I trying to do it myself?
Ken Williams:Right which goes back to that savior complex that not only were you trying to help everybody else, but you were trying to prevent him from helping you, because you had already established the rules.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah 100%.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, oh, I love that that.
Kyson Kidd:What's cool about that, too, is that that ends up being one of the things I teach all my clients, or coach all my clients through is like, if you're struggling with porn, I can basically guarantee that you're struggling with trying to save people and that you're not letting the savior step in with you, and I mean that's common with a lot of different problems. But what and I guess I'll say this, I'm kind of jumping all over, but the thing that was so fun after this moment with my coach, daniel, where I was like whoa, I experienced freedom. I basically started to just see that freedom grow and grow and grow, and every time temptation would come up. Instead of like relapsing or getting pulled, you know, really close to a relapse, I started to really build my rebuild my habits of oh, temptation means I ask questions. It's just a springboard to God and I almost would say it was like a I'd say it as a joke like kind of like in your face, satan, because if you tempt me, I'm gonna go ask questions, you know.
Ken Williams:Talk a little bit more about that, because I think that's really powerful. Yeah, and I think that it would be unfair to listeners for you to just skip over that with that one sentence. So talk a little bit more about how you would deal with temptation, with questions.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, totally, I'll bring up my. This is my formula for temptation. So I learned one time talking with a client that I think 100% of the time when there is temptation, there's actually a good desire beneath it. So I'll explain with just like a short story. I had a client who was struggling with pornography and the start of our phone call was like hey, dude, I relapsed again. He was super sad and I was like okay, let's talk about it, let's figure out what was going on. So he expressed the first thing he said as well, I've really wanted to get closer to my wife and have a better intimate relationship with my wife. So instead of oh, okay, so there's this good desire, right, Like I want to be close to my wife, but I'm afraid of having those conversations. So all of a sudden, like everything clicked, Like there's this like snap moment of like wait, don't forget what just happened. So there's a good desire plus a fear that he couldn't accomplish it. Therefore, temptation came in as a loophole when it was like a self-sabotage yeah.
Kyson Kidd:Totally.
Alisha Coakley:Like oh no, I can't live up to that. So I better prove to myself that I can't live up to that.
Ken Williams:Not even give yourself a chance to live up to it.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, instead of trying and seeing how it goes, he chose into, like, well, I'm just going to like look up stuff online, and eventually that turned into looking at pornography, and so it was so cool, and I didn't know I was doing that before, but like that was when God kind of solidified what I was understanding. So every time temptation would pop up, I'd look for, okay, what's the good desire, and then what's the fear? What am I afraid of? Right now? There must be a fear or there is no temptation, and so I've even had.
Kyson Kidd:What was so cool is like I would start to see like I said with the freedom, there was a lack of temptation, and then I'd even see it go as far as like, if something spicy, let's say, popped up on social media, instead of like, oh no, I got to throw my phone or like exit the app and run away, it would honestly start to feel like wait, I don't even want that, like I would have to push, I would have to like fight to get to pornography. That was the way it started to feel, and so what I started doing is focusing way less on counting how many days I was going, and started focusing on how often am I feeling tempted and what questions am I asking about myself? And what I love about that is that it brings progress. Like when you ask questions about yourself, you learn things God will teach you. And it brings a type of progress that cannot be taken away by a relapse, cause usually you know, when you relapse all of anyone who struggled with porn, like, we've all said this kind of stuff to ourselves like, oh, I'm back to square one, back to zero, got to start from nothing. Well, that's not true.
Kyson Kidd:If you learn about yourself, and even if you relapsed yesterday, let's start to ask questions about what good desire, what strength, what beautiful thing do you want to accomplish that you're afraid that you can't have? And then how can we like step in with Jesus and accomplish that I think of I love sharing this like I think of Peter walking on water. We get really focused on the failure part of that where, oh, he fell in and it's really cool that Jesus saves him. But if you go just a few verses before that, like Peter was so committed to his desire that he literally asked for something he's never heard of. Like you know, jesus was like it's me, I'm not a ghost out on the water. And Peter literally says if it's you, then tell me to come walk to you, like, look at that pattern or that beautiful example of desire and then like, trusting that through Jesus he could accomplish it. And you know there's an end to the story of like more practice. He needs more practice walking on water. That's okay.
Alisha Coakley:But at least he got out of the boat you know, Like, at least he got out of the boat and yes, he may. It might have started to sink eventually, but he got out. You know which? How much easier would it be for him to the next time, get out of the boat and walk a little further, right?
Ken Williams:So I just to add to that, I remember hearing something that when Jesus said, oh you little faith, he wasn't, he was talking about a man of faith, it was duration oh, you have short term faith and which changed the story for me as well.
Alisha Coakley:Wow, I love that.
Ken Williams:Sometimes you can have that short term faith, and now we just gotta stretch it just a little bit, wow.
Alisha Coakley:That's beautiful. I love that. Well, yeah, cause it talks all the time about the ability to endure, right To endure to the end. So that would make more sense than having a huge quality of it Right and instead just having this like long you know it could even the faith of mustard seed right, so maybe that feels so much more tangible.
Ken Williams:It's like a muscle that okay, so I can do faith this long. And now, with a little bit of practice, and it's the same thing with your overcoming pornography that you have this freedom that lasted this long and that can continue to grow. Oh, I love that.
Kyson Kidd:And, yeah, maybe a cool way to say and a cool application for anyone at home is like whatever you're struggling with, it doesn't have to be as big as pornography or something that big. Give yourself a chance to check what's my good desire. Trust that you have a good desire beneath that struggle. Have, exercise that faith for a minute, right, and say I'm gonna look at my desire and I'm gonna look at the fear I have, and then basically take that to God and say what would you teach me? You know, is there something we can do to create this good desire together? Is there something you wanna teach me about myself or who I am? Is there a gift that I have that you haven't? You know that I haven't discovered yet Like this and I guess that ties back to our opening remark that like it is a truly joyful journey.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, you can start today and you know it's not like you're gonna be perfect today. That's not the goal. It's not men are that they might be perfect, it's men are that they might have joy, right. So, wow, I never said that before. That feels good.
Ken Williams:I love that.
Alisha Coakley:It feels very good.
Ken Williams:It does and one of the things you referenced it earlier about how asking those questions about yourself was scary and once you started you gained the courage to ask God questions about you and you were able to learn about you. That, it sounds like to me, is where some of that joy came in and that's gonna get rid of some of the shame as well, because the shame says I'm a bad person and then as you learn these truths from God about who you are to him and that starts to build, then you start to see that also makes it easier to get rid of the shame that no, I am a person with distinct gifts and talents and abilities and am worthy of his love and commitment.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, I'm a good person having an experience. I'm a good person experiencing shame or anxiety or fear. Yeah, I like that, and it points right to Jesus. That's something that's so interesting too, because since in the last, it's been about three years since I started coaching other men struggling with pornography and it's been so cool to see the patterns that fit for different people, to see how many of us are just like. It's almost word for word. I'm afraid to let Jesus help me and a lot of times we just again put shame on it and say, well, you should let him help you. But one of my favorite things to help people ask like questions to consider is like, okay, well, let's just talk about it. Why are you afraid that you don't deserve his help? Or what fear comes up if you were to stand right next to him? You know what? What fears do you have about letting Jesus help your family members instead of you being the one that sacrifices all the time? There's just so many beautiful questions to ask and really beautiful things to learn about ourselves.
Ken Williams:And then and the great thing about that is having a coach, or having it could be a ministry brother, it could be a close friend, but somebody that you can have confidence is going to support you as you're going through that experience, because those questions can be terrifying, and having somebody who's going to hold that space for you and let you discover you is that's really powerful and that's where a lot of that growth can come from.
Alisha Coakley:Well, and I love how you mentioned this pattern of just asking questions, constantly asking questions, because I feel like that is so true to the way that the Savior taught you know, like in the scriptures, he would ask questions all the time and then he would give these analogies and he would help us to understand things based on real world experiences that were happening then.
Alisha Coakley:And so I know sometimes it makes it a little harder for us in this day to be able to understand what all is happening in the scriptures, because we don't talk like that or those aren't the things that necessarily happen in our day to day, like we don't have ox in the mire type of thing, right.
Alisha Coakley:But I love that the pattern he set up is to ask questions and then to be open to learning from life and from other people's stories and from experiences and from the day to days that we're going through ourselves, which just kind of makes me feel so grateful for you, kyson, and for people like you who are willing to take those things that at one point made them feel shame or made them feel a disconnect from God, and to be really raw and open and vulnerable about it and to say look, I can tell you that that's not. That's not the way that we can feel joy, but there is a way to feel joy. There is this it's cliche as it sounds like there is a hope in Jesus Christ, and there is hope for our future, and not even just our future. There is hope for right now, like literally right now, right this second, we can make the decision to feel joy, regardless of where we're at in our journey, you know and I just I love that so much.
Alisha Coakley:I was thinking to me. I think as a woman, right, I don't often look at, say, my husband, for example, or my teenage boys I've got two of them and I don't think to myself that they have a lot of emotions other than like three. There's like anger, boredom and happiness and like that. You know what I mean, because they don't tend to show a lot more than that, like that's the most, I guess, easily seen, and I know as a woman.
Alisha Coakley:Actually, there was a video I was watching today that said they did this study where they stuck a man in the room for 30 minutes by himself with nothing, Like there was nothing stimulating in the room whatsoever, it was just him in a white room with a couch, that's it. And then they stuck a woman in the room and they did this with multiple participants. And at the end of this 30 minute experiment, they asked the men and the women okay, what did you think about when you were in that room? And some huge. It was like over 90% of the men thought about sex and over 90% of the women thought about conversations they had in the last few days.
Alisha Coakley:Funny, like we're so different. And so when I think about that. I think one Satan knows the way that our Heavenly Father designed each of us. He knows how he designed women and he knows how he designed men. And I do think that not that women can't have this addiction with pornography, because we absolutely can, and I don't know if it's necessarily like the visual as much as it is like the reading right Like connection maybe.
Alisha Coakley:Yeah, so I think a lot of women are that struggle with that type of pattern in their life. Is it kind of is more on like the movies that they're watching and the books that they're reading, because it makes us feel the emotion of passion or being loved or being the object of desire or whatever. It is like having someone who I don't know, whatever right, and so like. So that's most commonly the way that women are addicted to it, whereas men they're built differently. Right, I swear I'm getting somewhere.
Alisha Coakley:So my thought is, as a man and as a priesthood holder, I think that Satan knows that pornography is going to be a very, very big win because, like you said, a lot of the men have the same few underlying feelings of like not being able to ask for help, not knowing how to get rid of that shame and then having that savior complex.
Alisha Coakley:Because men are, they're built differently. They are built to be able to be strong and to be able to be the protector and the provider for families and for loved ones. And with the priesthood, you guys are built to have this beautiful power of God to change the world. And so, naturally, satan is going to take the balanced opposite of the priesthood, right, he's gonna take that and he's gonna try very hard to tip the scales for men, right? So my thought to you is, or I guess my question to you is have you noticed, have you noticed a leveling up, I guess, in your priesthood, as you've been able to understand the pornography, the habit of pornography? Have you felt this like raise in your ability to be a better priesthood holder the more you overcome your pornography and understand your pornography addictions?
Kyson Kidd:Oh, that's a sweet question and quite the setup too. I mean lots of, no, lots of awesome thoughts. I'm gonna do a little bit of a roundabout answer as well that I think, starting back with your thought about like men and thinking about sex. I think you know I'm not saying this is always the case. I'm sure there's such thing as just like high sex drive, low sex drive, that's just a thing.
Kyson Kidd:But what I've noticed in myself and with quite a few of the people I have worked with a lot of times obsession over sex or and it's not just sex, but like lustful you know what I mean Like if you're in a place of lust it usually is to compensate for lack of connection, lack of fulfillment, lack of love, especially self-love. So it's interesting that you talk about this idea that a lot of men don't show their emotions. I think that's one of the biggest things is we've told a story that men aren't emotional or they're not supposed to be, so they stuff it all down. That makes them feel disconnected from everyone in their life. And then it brings this question of well, what's even my value? You know, if I'm not connected to people, my only value is to solve other people's needs, and if I can't do that then I have no worth. The backup is well, maybe I can at least be sexual or wanted sexually, and that would prove that I have worth. So a lot of people experience, as they start to shift those things, they experience a huge change in their sex drive, a huge change in like lustful thoughts, temptation for pornography, that kind of stuff.
Kyson Kidd:So I would say to like get right to your question, as I have opened myself to more vulnerable, like to be vulnerable with myself, weirdly enough to ask deeper questions and to really go on that journey I've definitely seen. The first thing I've noticed is like a huge increase in my ability to actually feel love, not to pretend love or to do actions that look loving, but to actually feel love and connection. And to me that feels just like hand in hand with priesthood, like as a to be a powerful priesthood holder. I think the love of Jesus Christ, you know, is like the most powerful piece I'm thinking of the phrase after, like the first and second commandment. It says on this hang all the law and the prophets. Like everything hangs on this ability to love or to receive God's charity and love and feel it for other people and for yourself. So yeah, I would say I don't know if that answers the question, but it feels like it answers the question.
Alisha Coakley:It feels good to me.
Ken Williams:I like that, and just something that is interesting to me also is that when you're in that shame cycle and you're a lot of that you talked about some of the behaviors that you did that would kind of take some of those feelings away. As you reduce your ability to feel the bad feelings, you also reduce your ability to feel the good feelings, and so as you strip that away, that opens you up to be a cleaner conduit of God's love for yourself as well as for other people. I think that's a great message that you didn't say directly, but in your story I heard that as you strip that away, it became much more clear to you that you were a person that had tremendous worth.
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, I love that phrase. A cleaner conduit. That's beautiful.
Alisha Coakley:I know I really like that. I'm going to have to go through this whole episode and just like write down all of these things. I joke with Scott all the time. I'm going to make bumper stickers with all of the cool things that our guests and our guest co-hosts say. I'm going to just make bumper stickers.
Kyson Kidd:I love that. I was going to say one more thing too, about emotions. Maybe this is closer to our finalist thought, I don't know. But I can't tell you how many of my clients that are men. I do work with men and women, but mostly focus on men. How many of my clients that are men that say like, yeah, I have a really hard time sharing my emotions? And at first it feels like they're saying I'm not very emotional, like I don't share my emotions with people, I'm pretty like stoic. And then, as I ask a few questions, they'll be like, oh yeah, but then, like about once a month, I'll just cry like a baby and I don't want people to see that. And so I realized, like dude, it's so fun when they finally tell me that I'm like, oh, dude, you're just, you're a sensitive, powerful man. It's okay to be sensitive.
Kyson Kidd:Jesus wept. That's one of the most powerful things Enos saw God weep. Isn't that so powerful that God wept for us? We love that about that experience. And there you know, for the men out there, like you've got wife and kids and friends and even guy friends, like there's something special about allowing yourself to just be vulnerable. I got, I got the opportunity to cry in front of. I got one of my best friends, a man, so two dudes hanging out and I let some tears come through and he's an amazing person. It felt, you know, it's totally like a safe space to do that and it was a huge gift to be like myself. You know, I feel like I don't know. There's a lot of different patterns that come up. One of the coolest ones is to see that that it's okay for me to be me, yeah, and I still want Jesus to like, help me grow and all those things, but it is okay to be me and to show up as me. I don't need to show up pretending to be something else, yeah.
Ken Williams:I heard somebody say one time that when the tears come, it really is. That's just awesome leaking out.
Alisha Coakley:Well, I have a whole lot of awesome that leaks out in all the time.
Ken Williams:What final message or words of encouragement would you have for people struggling either with pornography or with something else, whether it's a shame cycle? What would you say to them?
Kyson Kidd:I would say that there is so much hope. I think the big one is I would invite everyone whether you struggle with porn or you have people you love, everyone has someone they know that struggles with porn. It is that common and I would say, to set your sights beyond sobriety. I even invite people to like the word recovery to me feels like it has, like you're still broken in it. I would say to set your sights on like true change, true freedom, whatever word you want, to trust that there is real change through Jesus. And then, with that hope and trust, I would just invite you to every day ask a question that you haven't asked yet. Even ask God. One of my favorite questions is Heavenly Father. I know I'm stuck. What question would you invite me to ask right now?
Alisha Coakley:I love that.
Kyson Kidd:And I mean there's just so. There is so, so, so much hope. I am so grateful for the changes that God has has brought in me or has created in me. I've been willing to accept those changes and I've seen so many people around me, people I've coached, people that have coached me, friendships I've built since then like people really can change and grow. And that is the message of hope in Christ that there's real change.
Alisha Coakley:That's fantastic.
Alisha Coakley:Well, thank you, kyson, so much. This has just been so enlightening and such a good I don't know. I just felt good this whole interview and and I feel like there's so many good nuggets of truth that we are we're able to take away from this today. So thank you for being open and for sharing your story and sharing your success with us and sharing this journey that you're on. Now. If anyone is interested in coaching or in learning more about some of the things that you've learned, how, how is it best for them to be able to get in touch with you?
Kyson Kidd:Yeah, I'm sure we can put this in the show notes, but I've got a website, kyson kid calm, and that would be for my music and also for coaching around pornography. We're also launching in the next couple of days. We've got a group for men, like all men, not just those that struggle with porn. So you'll find all that right there on the website.
Alisha Coakley:Okay, awesome, we'll be sure to take, take those links and put them in our descriptions too, so anyone can find them quickly. So awesome, perfect. Well, thank you again, kyson, and thank you Ken, for joining us today for being our host.
Alisha Coakley:I really really appreciate it and thank you to all of our audience members. Guys, you are awesome. We love just how many people have tuned in and listened and shared these stories. Please, please, please, be sure to leave a comment below. Let us know what your favorite part of kyson's story and his, his lessons that he talked to us today was, and be sure to do your little five second mission and hit that share button. Let's get this out to the rest of the world. Let's make sure that we can share some more light with with everybody else, and some hope and some direction, and let's see if you guys have a story that you'd like to share, if you'd like to come and be a guest on our show. We would love to hear from you. So head on over to latterdaylightscom. There's a form at the very bottom of the page that you can fill out and you can send our way, and it's a pretty painless process. I mean, right, kyson? Good, they actually read the emails which is great.
Ken Williams:Share the thoughts that you have of the story. It doesn't have to be anything big. It doesn't have to be a lifelong not quite, but 18 year pornography addiction. It can be just something that you've learned that's made a difference for you, and we'd love to hear your story.
Alisha Coakley:Absolutely All right, guys. Well, that's all that we have for you today. Be sure to tune into another episode of latterdaylights next week, and we hope you guys have a wonderful, wonderful week. We'll see you later.